hi, my husband has ptsd and i am trying as a wife to understand what i can do to help . Heres my question , he has just gotten back from iraq , as we speak he is in a hosptial and i cant call him but he can call me . i feel like hes pushing me away and i want to know if it is common for the husband to push away the wife when starting to deal with the early stages of this disorder ?
when i came back to the states i didn't want to be close to anyone all i wanted to do was use drugs and alcohol. i lost the desire to do anything else especially my family i wanted to distance myself from them because nobody understood what happen to me, what i went through and eventually was diagnosed with PTSD in a residential treatment facility. i am now drug-free alcohol- free but the scars still remain. i hope this helps you because he might distance himself from you and self medicate like i did :)
I agree with drifter, it takes some time ,its hard for you but if you can just there for him I think you will find it wont be too long before he wants to be with you, so let him have his space ,time does heal, be supportive and go along with how he feels .Let him call you I have found that sometimes they feel like this because they are like fish out of water ,disorientated at being home.good luck, let us know how he is doing and please know we do appreciate you both ....
I have PTSD due to being in warzone in my teens and 26yrs after leaving all behind, i still push my wife away from anything and everything. I never reached out to anything or anyone other than just closing my emotions and became a cold hearted person.
I have changed form saying i am going to i will see you, which is a huge leap for me. I did goto therapy after 9yrs(when i started having M.S symptoms and after i put her out).
But backed out after 2 sessions. So in my openion all i can do is agree with the other two and say be patient.
Since he does call you I would say it is a very good sign, cause after 12yrs of marriage, I am still yet to call my wife and say I love her even tho I do love her, oh yea i do tell her in person and on Emails.
Thank you for your post may I ask why you backed off the therapy ...have you thought maybe some more may help you , or just a dsicussion as we have here, sharing the problems ,cause and effect .. your story would be helpful to others going through similar ...
I had the same exact feelings and symptoms when I returned from Iraq. I'm just now trying to get things figured out. I wasn't in a warzone though so I don't understand what is happening. I closed down halfway through and have continued since 2003. I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way. Like I don't deserve to feel this way when there are so MANY others like yourself who have gone through situations that I cannot even begin to imagine. Now, I work long hours all day then come home and work some more. More and more and more. I finally had an appointment with a psychiatrist on Friday who told me that I'm using work to further withdraw from everyone at work and now unfortunately at home. I don't have to deal with anyone if I'm working. For some reason it's like the light went on. It sounded so simple when he said it. Not that it instantly "cured" me. BUT for the first time in years I feel I may be ready to face it, deal with it and hopefully become the person that I used to be.
My husband has severe PTSD, TBI (traumatic brain injury)(from several explosions) and many other chronic disorders that have manifested from the stress the body is in. It is such a different man then I married, but I still see bits & pieces of him. Along with his mental state of returning, nightmares, physical & emotional reactions to handling stress or lack of, he is also (like my husband) medicated. The medications they are given are "in hope" of a fix or some relief. Each person is different and each medicine helps or hurts differently. It has been my experience over the past years WE (the spouse) need to monitor the medications and their changes in behavior. To be fair, the doctor doesn't know if my husbands melancholy attitude is normal for him or not. To me he has been in a "walking coma". sometimes better, sometimes worse.
My husband slept in the living room on the floor (fear of not knowing if someone was walking up-my guess) for 1 1/2 years. He drank a lot for the first 2 years after being back. Sex for us has been very little. I believe it is because of the medications and his inability to completely relax. Here is a minor example of "he saw, she saw"
He saw a man's arm get blown off. Tragic! No other way of explaining it.
I slammed my finger in the car door & my nail is bruised & falling off. It hurts very badly.
PTSD husband can't believe that I am actually complaining about something so minor. I want some empathy and sincere concern. He can't give that yet! He has been back 7 years & still has issues.
I know I didn't answer your question, but I hope I shed a little light for you. You may also want to get into a counceling program. Lately I have had many signs of "secondary PTSD" which is not an actual diagnose yet. But the toll put on us wives is increadible. And I hope people are starting to realize it. Feel free to message me anytime. ***@****
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