I got thinking the other day when an ex-girlfriend told me that I’ve change. Before I joined the marines I was always very outgoing, loud, funny, confident, and just a huge flirt. I'm on my 4th year of enlistment so I’ve been to Iraq twice and have had a friend who died in my hands after being hit with an ied. I already know that I have PTSD but why am I not myself anymore? I know that everyone gets some what brainwashed in the service, probably part of desensitizing I guess. But now I find myself always depressed, and I know I’m not who I used to be. Can I ever be the same again or am I going to be ****** up for life?
I dont think you will stay this way, you have had and are possibly still having a lot of stress, its bound to affect how you feel. ,it is also part of PTSD are you taking any med still as they can have side effects and make you feel down after a while. we are all living in uncertain times , in your case you really dont know what you will be sent to do. Focus on the postive things going on in your life ..Family ...sports are good, and I expect you get a ton of exercise ...Dont think too much, it is always our thoughts get us into trouble and make us feel bad...Good luck, check out the Military Group we have here on MH its for everyone more social , families etc
I totally understand what you're going thru after being in the war, and watched your buddy died in your arms. It is very traumatic experience.It is hard to talk to those who have never been to war. Why are you not yourself? because you're put in 'life and death' situation over and over again. No one in the same shoes can ever fathom how horrifyng it is. That's why so many veterans find it difficult to readapt to their old ways of life.
War changes a person whether you wanted to or not. But that is not to say, change is always for the worst . Understand what you went through, even being alive instead your buddy can haunt you for a long time of your life.
Try not bottled in all your flashbacks, your feelings to your girlfriend and your loved ones.
They may be able to help you heal the emotional wounds and you don't have to carry those scars for the rest of your life.
PM me if you need to....I will be more than willing to be part of your support system.
I also have to say thank you for your services. My husband is in the canadian military and we now live on base. Before, we lived where there werent many army personal. He used to get lots of thanks but now, everyone here is in the army so they are used to it and almost no one says it. It means alot to hear that people appreciate what you have gone through for them. THANK YOU.
I personally don't think you will be ****** up for the rest of your life.But of course you guys do change when yall go overseas and see stuff that most people do not see like friends getting killed in front of you ETC..I just can't thank you guys enough for defending our country.. But maybe try counsling and see if that helps sometimes it helps guys and sometimes it doesn't.Which i am not the one to be saying anything because i have not been overseas and had to see things like you guys have seen..But all i want to say is my support is with you guys..Just stay strong
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