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Blighted Ovum and depressed
Hi,
I had a blighted ovam about 4 mths ago. I was measuring 8 wks and there was never a baby. My uterus was growing and had ALL pregnancy symptoms for 2 months. After a few ultrsounds, I had a DNC (or DNE) and thought I was very strong throughout everything. I have two beautiful little girls already and am VERY blessed to have them.
Lately I have been very upset and depressed at certain times since the procedure. My SIL is pregnant and we were due a week apart. She has not contacted me since I had this done. I didn't know if she didn't know how to talk to me or if she just didn't care. So I called her and told her I was happy for her and I'll just have to get through this ...as this may be difficult for me. (we live in different states and I was about to see her...that's why I called) She thought that was 'strange' that I called and didn't understand why I did that. Not only did she think it was strange for me to call, but she even had a tight shirt on the 1st time I saw her...and she was showing! I remained strong throughout the visit.
Last week I went to the docs for an exam and I had a melt down. I didn't think I would be this upset about a loss (when there wasn't even a baby there) Even walking in to the office was hard for me. That night, my brother called and wanted to know if I wanted to know the sex of their baby. I said no...and that's not like me. I was so upset b/c I knew I'd be finding out about this time as well.
I feel like nobody in my family understands where I am dealing with (not even my husband).
I'm supposed to make a trip to NJ again in a month and I don't think I can. I know I am going to see my SIL and I don't think I can handle this....
Any support out there?
Thanks...
I had a blighted ovam about 4 mths ago. I was measuring 8 wks and there was never a baby. My uterus was growing and had ALL pregnancy symptoms for 2 months. After a few ultrsounds, I had a DNC (or DNE) and thought I was very strong throughout everything. I have two beautiful little girls already and am VERY blessed to have them.
Lately I have been very upset and depressed at certain times since the procedure. My SIL is pregnant and we were due a week apart. She has not contacted me since I had this done. I didn't know if she didn't know how to talk to me or if she just didn't care. So I called her and told her I was happy for her and I'll just have to get through this ...as this may be difficult for me. (we live in different states and I was about to see her...that's why I called) She thought that was 'strange' that I called and didn't understand why I did that. Not only did she think it was strange for me to call, but she even had a tight shirt on the 1st time I saw her...and she was showing! I remained strong throughout the visit.
Last week I went to the docs for an exam and I had a melt down. I didn't think I would be this upset about a loss (when there wasn't even a baby there) Even walking in to the office was hard for me. That night, my brother called and wanted to know if I wanted to know the sex of their baby. I said no...and that's not like me. I was so upset b/c I knew I'd be finding out about this time as well.
I feel like nobody in my family understands where I am dealing with (not even my husband).
I'm supposed to make a trip to NJ again in a month and I don't think I can. I know I am going to see my SIL and I don't think I can handle this....
Any support out there?
Thanks...
I actually have 2 little girls (an almost 4yr old and a 2 yr old). I hold them close to me every day and am so blessed to have them!
I was due in Oct....so until then...I'm sure I'm going to have a few bumps in the road.
My husband is trying to be supportive and is taking me and the girls out of the house for some family time when I am down. (I am a stay at home mom)....He's been sweet like that.
I'm trying to relax and have my moments....
Thanks so much!
I was due in Oct....so until then...I'm sure I'm going to have a few bumps in the road.
My husband is trying to be supportive and is taking me and the girls out of the house for some family time when I am down. (I am a stay at home mom)....He's been sweet like that.
I'm trying to relax and have my moments....
Thanks so much!
What you are experiencing is very normal although I am strong and remained strong through the D&C I still cry and think about my baby almost everyday and I totally know about people not understanding even though my fiancé holds me when I cry he could never imagine the pain I feel late at night when he is sleep and I'm up crying was this your first pregnancy? I would say when you see her just breath and if you need to go outside for some fresh air GO I remember after I found out about my baby I didn't leave my house for about three days and when I did I broke down in the car with my fiancé and all I could say while I was crying is "I want to go home" seeing all those women with their children really upset me so I understand just talk to your brother and let him know how you are feeling and if he values how close you are he'll ease up a little and as far as feeling better after your due date I'm not sure because I have to face mines in Nov. but I hope by then I am pregnant again so I don't have to face it:( I hope you are feeling better
Thanks so much for sharing.
I felt so strong going in to the DNC (DNE) But once I was getting prepped for the OR, it hit me. Then...I can honestly say that I was fine afterwards. (Maybe i was just in shock or didn't want to deal with it) But now that I see pregnant woman...and esp. my SIL and know she I was a week apart from her it is WAY HARDER then I thought. I feel like I am distancing myself from my brother (we are very close) But I can't even talk to him (esp. b.c I know he doesn't understand) and doesn't even understand why I am upset.
I should write in a journal. I have read that in a few different places today. So, I might just do that.
Will it get easier after my EDD?
I have a trip planned to go up to NJ in a few wks and don't know if I'll be able to do it. (being around my SIL) She is going to be MUCH bigger by then and I don't know how I am going to react....this stinks!
I felt so strong going in to the DNC (DNE) But once I was getting prepped for the OR, it hit me. Then...I can honestly say that I was fine afterwards. (Maybe i was just in shock or didn't want to deal with it) But now that I see pregnant woman...and esp. my SIL and know she I was a week apart from her it is WAY HARDER then I thought. I feel like I am distancing myself from my brother (we are very close) But I can't even talk to him (esp. b.c I know he doesn't understand) and doesn't even understand why I am upset.
I should write in a journal. I have read that in a few different places today. So, I might just do that.
Will it get easier after my EDD?
I have a trip planned to go up to NJ in a few wks and don't know if I'll be able to do it. (being around my SIL) She is going to be MUCH bigger by then and I don't know how I am going to react....this stinks!
Let my start off by saying I'm sorry for your lost as I was in your shoes a month ago I am crying writing this because I know exactly how you feel I see people I went to school with and we all were do the same month and I hear about their pregnancy and baby and how I should have had mine then and it gets me down but what I can tell you is that with tome it does get a little better what I do when I'm down is write to my baby I find that it helps ALOT if you need anything my story,encouraging words or just to vent I'm here and if it wasn't for MH I don't know how I would coping in this difficult time
Thank you so much for your help girls.
We are not trying anytime soon. We will be married for 5 yrs in Nov. and have a trip planned to Atlantis. I want to enjoy myself there and focus on my kids an hubby until then. After that...who knows?!?! I'd love to start trying again.
I also have endometriosis and the best thing for me to do is the be pregnant again.
All in all...I am VERY happy for my brother and his wife, but it's really hard for me to let go of the fact that that could have been me...and it's not. She is not a very warm person either and that makes it that much more difficult for me....she just doesn't get it! But if it were her sister, it would be a different story.
Getting through my EDD is going to be tough, but I hope it will get a little easier after that.
Thanks again ladies!
We are not trying anytime soon. We will be married for 5 yrs in Nov. and have a trip planned to Atlantis. I want to enjoy myself there and focus on my kids an hubby until then. After that...who knows?!?! I'd love to start trying again.
I also have endometriosis and the best thing for me to do is the be pregnant again.
All in all...I am VERY happy for my brother and his wife, but it's really hard for me to let go of the fact that that could have been me...and it's not. She is not a very warm person either and that makes it that much more difficult for me....she just doesn't get it! But if it were her sister, it would be a different story.
Getting through my EDD is going to be tough, but I hope it will get a little easier after that.
Thanks again ladies!
Hey, first of all let me tell u..i am sooo sorry you have been through the heartache of a niscarriage. I too have had a miscarriage...back in december. I was 6weeks, and it was the day after i found out. Anyway, they told me it was most likely a blighted ovum...
There was nothing there on the ultrasound. So thats how they come to this conclusion. A part of me died that day...however i struggled on! Not really dealing with it. My cousin then told me she was pregnant...from a one night stand! Ugghh..typical eh?! And not only that...she then went on to have a abortion. Its soooo unfair..this world can be so cruel.
Anyway, my EDD is slowly creeping up on me. And its starting to get me down a little. Me and my partner have been trying to concieve since the miscarriage. I have a son from a previous relationship. But with no luck so far...6 months later!
Are u trying to concieve?? I wish u all the best...if u need 2 chat message me! This site is amazing..the girls on here are a big support for many women. Take care
There was nothing there on the ultrasound. So thats how they come to this conclusion. A part of me died that day...however i struggled on! Not really dealing with it. My cousin then told me she was pregnant...from a one night stand! Ugghh..typical eh?! And not only that...she then went on to have a abortion. Its soooo unfair..this world can be so cruel.
Anyway, my EDD is slowly creeping up on me. And its starting to get me down a little. Me and my partner have been trying to concieve since the miscarriage. I have a son from a previous relationship. But with no luck so far...6 months later!
Are u trying to concieve?? I wish u all the best...if u need 2 chat message me! This site is amazing..the girls on here are a big support for many women. Take care
I am so sorry for your loss. I know personally how hard it is to deal with! My first pregnancy ended in a loss at 11 weeks. I had know idea I went in for my almost 12 week check up and found out my baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. Meanwhile, my sister was a month ahead of me with her pregnancy. It was very hard to deal with because I was happy for my sister. But, I was so sad about my own loss it was hard to talk to her at times and we are very close. I waited 3 months to try again, which I think was good because I was an emotional mess.
The only people who get it are the people who have gone through it. Keep in mind that men deal with these types of things very different than us women. I think the only thing that made me better was when I found out I was pregnant again. I tried to be very strong immediatley after the miscarriage and focus on myself, working out, focusing on work, ect. All of those were a good distraction, but it was always in the back of my mind. I am now 33 weeks pregnant again, and I still think of my loss, but only from time to time now. Time really does help even though it's the hardest thing to wait for.
I would just try not to associate your sister in laws pregnancy with you own. Think about how great it will be to be an Aunt... and how much you will love your new neice or nephew or how your kids are going to have a new cousin. Know that your time will come again, and it's nothing you did wrong. Miscarriages. blighted ovums and otherwise occur out of mere chance in most cases.
This is a great place for support and finding others that have gone through what you have. I wish you the best of luck and please feel free to message me if you would like to talk xoxo
The only people who get it are the people who have gone through it. Keep in mind that men deal with these types of things very different than us women. I think the only thing that made me better was when I found out I was pregnant again. I tried to be very strong immediatley after the miscarriage and focus on myself, working out, focusing on work, ect. All of those were a good distraction, but it was always in the back of my mind. I am now 33 weeks pregnant again, and I still think of my loss, but only from time to time now. Time really does help even though it's the hardest thing to wait for.
I would just try not to associate your sister in laws pregnancy with you own. Think about how great it will be to be an Aunt... and how much you will love your new neice or nephew or how your kids are going to have a new cousin. Know that your time will come again, and it's nothing you did wrong. Miscarriages. blighted ovums and otherwise occur out of mere chance in most cases.
This is a great place for support and finding others that have gone through what you have. I wish you the best of luck and please feel free to message me if you would like to talk xoxo
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