Blighted Ovum to 8 week fetus with no heartbeat

Okay, here's my story thus far...

I was on the patch when I became pregnant, because of this, I didn't write down my LMP as I wasn't TTC at the time.
I estimate it was around 8/8/12, but at the same time, my cycles are not normal.  Instead of 28 days, they tend to run for 35 or 43 days... well I got my positive test on 9/11/12... I was scared because of the circumstances so I went to my ER for an early scan, they were able to locate the gestational sac and it was only measuring 2-3mm but said it was way to early to date.

Based on my first day of my last menstrual cycle, when I went into my appt last Wednesday, 10/11/12, I would have been 9 weeks.
During this appt, my Doctor gave me a transvaginal ultrasound, but to her surprise, was unable to locate the fetus, fetal pole or even a yolk sac.  The only thing that appeared was gestational sac (she did not tell me the measurements at the time of the sac)

She sent me for blood work that weekend, I went on 10/11/12 and 10/13/12 (48 hour period) and my HCG stayed at 43,000 both days.  To her, that was normal, so I was scheduled for a scan 10/17/12... however, I was afraid she wouldn't be able to find the baby again and looked for an alternative... knowing my ER has very good equipment, I went back there on 10/16/12.  I explained my situation and they were more then happy to do a scan for me.. During the scan, they DID find the fetus, measuring 1.2cm AND a yolk sac.  They were both CLEARLY visible inside the sac, however, our next problem was, they couldn't find a heart beat!

My little one wasn't moving at all, and the tech actually thought she saw a heartbeat but it was so hard to get a good look at it.  She even tried to pull in another tech to look but the other tech was too busy so because she wasn't able to hold the heartbeat on the screen for very long, she sent the images she had to radiology... who decided there was no heart beat :(   I have collected the scans from the ER and confronted the doctor with them but she's agreeing with the ER that there's no heartbeat, and that it's not viable... according to my research 1.2cm means I would be 8 weeks at the time of the scan... I have refused a D&C or medicine to help force a miscarriage and decided to put it in god's hands.  My OB has been very pleasant about my decision and agrees, there's no rush as I am not cramping nor bleeding and feel perfectly fine.

However, though I'd like to hang on to a little hope, I'm still worried, and I was hoping to find someone else who's been in my position and has had things turn out okay.. I've read so many stories where they found the heart beat at 9 weeks or 10 weeks... I know it can be found much earlier then that, after all they found my daughter's at 6 weeks and my son's at 7... but this one feels different, after all, this pregnancy is the first since my c-section with my son and the gestational sac is located at the very TOP of my uterus so I know it can be difficult to see sometimes in those situations... so anyone have any advice?