Ectopic Pregnancy @ 6.5 weeks w/ heart beat?

[passionbound25]

Usually when you think of a miscarriage its loosing the baby natuarally but what if you have to had to have the baby removed to save your life. I want to think of it  as though the baby wasn't strong and healthy like it was. That is if he could have found his way to the right place would be 14weeks today. But the loss of my right tube now keeps me remembering. How does anyone get over this? What can I do to stop thinking about it? I know that everyone says think positive but nothing positive has been happening for me and I feel lost inside now. I need to know how long I should wait to try again and if I get pregnant again would it be a bad idea if my heart still hurts? Am I being selfish?

[smr08]

I'm sorry for your loss. I know at this point it feels like the end of the world. I have been through 3 losses, an early natural m/c, an ectopic and most recently the loss of my son at 5 months pg. Prior to my first m/c I had 2 normal pregnancies and couldn't imagine what I did wrong to have this happen, I quickly got pg again and had the ectopic, soon after was pg again and gave birth to a healthy baby boy, it was 11yrs later that I got pg yet again and ended up loosing him, that was in Oct. I waited for the Dr. to give me the ok and in Nov. started ttc again. I also have one tube and had no problem getting pg. It does take a while to get through the emotional pain, but it does come in time. You are not being selfish, I think that we carry a loss forever but learn to handle it over time. Has your Dr. told you when you can start ttc? You will know in your heart if your ready soon or should take a little more time. I wish you the best and hope your feeling well soon. Someone is always here to talk if you need.

                                               Lori

[passionbound25]

Thank you so much for actually saying something back to me. I have tried to reach out before but no one ever replies to me. It is nice to see that there is someone out there that has some helpful words for me. I wish you the best also.

[sue68]

Hey there,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through - it must be so tough and I know people telling you to "keep positive" does not help a bit when all you feel like is bawling. Keep in mind they are at a loss for words and those are the only words of comfort they can think of.  They mean well even though some comments are still painful.  I haven't had an ectopic pregnancy - so I can only imagine what turmoil you're going through.  

I have had two miscarriages - the first was a blighted ovum and it wasn't any easier.  It still felt like a loss.  I had  my second natural miscarriage - yesterday night - the heartbeat had stopped at 8 weeks.While we never had the chance to see the heartbeat - we saw the fetus. It must be so heart wrenching for you to have to had terminate the pregnancy to save your life.  But, remember : you have one fallopian tube left and you need YOUR life to create another.

I understand why you'd feel guilty - but know that it was a fluke of nature - and hopefully you won't' feel so lost.  It's not selfish to think of trying again - you are not betraying that baby you lost. You will never forget it and it will hold a special place in your heart and memory.  Thinking about having another actually shows that you have NOT given up hope  - and that is good. That means you are thinking "positive ' though you probably don't feel so positive right now. Speaking from experience - your heart WILL heal and you will smile again.  Let yourself go through the stages of mourning while your body and heart heals and prepares itself for another baby.  

My doctor said that I should wait 1 - 2 cycles before trying again.  I've  also read 1 to 3 months.  I wish you lots of luck and know that my thoughts are with you. I hope your heart heals soon - the physical pain is over while the heart takes a little longer - but, you will heal and you will get through this. Big hug sent your way .