How to continue on....

[monica522126]

I recently went through a miscarriage in the first trimester and actually didnt know I miscarried until I passed the baby in the toilet. I'm incredibly heartbroken over it because my partner and I have been trying to have a baby for the past year and a half. I was over the moon when I found out I was pregnant only to have it taken away. My partner and I tried right away to get pregnant again after doctors okay and after being late for my period I thought I was pregnant again. I had symptoms and I don't get premenstrual symptoms and yesterday end up getting my period. I'm so heartbroken because I can't try for another baby until my partner returns from his training for the marines. Just how do I cope with this? I feel so low and it brings me to tears. Everyone I know either has a baby or is getting pregnant and I'm just like why did my baby have to be taken from me?

[SOLrawr]

Sorry some words aren't spelt wrong. I hope you can make sense of it.

[SOLrawr]

I'm sorry about your loss. The baby is where it needs to be. I've lost three and sometimes I still cry about it. You never really get over it. Best thing I can tell you Is cry is you want too. Be angry if you want too. Feel what you feel  .... it's okay! It's always gonna hurt, but why isn't the question anymore.  It's what's you can do from now on. Do not even think this is your fault. It's not, try to come up with ways of becoming healthier and stronger...  by the time the hubby comes home you guys can try. This like this is all about timing,  and it's not on your watch. All you can do if kind a safe place of balance and hope for good health and stability for the next lil one. It wasn't easy losing three, but nothing will be stronger then the love I'll have for my first born. You have to be strong but first grieve. You went threw such a tragedy and you deserve to grieve. Know it's okay.

My story,
My first three I was with two different men whom I loved.
My first my teenage love and the second was my first adult love. I kept track of my periods, ovulation tests, sex everyday. And I took months to becomes pregnant  .... my first just happened. I lost it about three weeks after finding out at 7-8weeks along. I bleed for almost 6 weeks after the miscarriage that I had to get on birth control to control the bleeding soon after that month was over I got pregnant right away  ... I made it to 11 weeks to find out the baby started growing. And I didn't miscarry till 15 weeks and I went threw 5 health of contractions. . .my third pregnancy was three years later and I lost it at 6 weeks. After trying for 4 months. Lost it a week later. I loved these men and was so eagered to meet my baby's.

I slept with a man one time and I got pregnant. I'm 9 weeks on Thursday and I never been so disconnected. I am not ready for a baby nor was I trying but it happened and it's coming. I feel healthier then ever, but my emotions are all over. I feel so selfish but I need to not be act like this baby is in my control. It's not in our hands. We have to let nature take it's course and let God decide our times for such a tremendous change.

I hope the day you get a beautiful baby comes soon cause you deserve it.

Grieve and get healthy. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. And really connect with yourself.

I promise your time will come and hope my words help.