Miscarriage

[Ktzen3]

I am 30 years old and in a very loving, committed relationship for the past four years.  I am on birth control and my partner and I did not have any plans of having a baby.  However... I had to go on antibiotics for a bad sinus infection and I guess my significant other and I become pregnant.  There were lots of 'pregnancy signs', however, we just kind of played it off.  I ended up having a miscarriage two days ago.  I'm positive that's what happened.  It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced.  Physically.  I'm curious about what my body went through.  My boyfriend wanted to take me to the hospital, and I wouldn't go.  I ended up passing what would be the fetus.  It was so painful, physically unbearable for about twelve hours, and then I passed it.  When it finally came out, I actually had to push (while on the toilet).  My questions are 1) is this any way comparable to labor?  It was so painful I couldn't move, breathe straight, etc.  I couldn't even walk.  And then 2) once it came out I was really distraught about what to do with the fetus (?).  I ended up flushing it down the toilet, but both my partner and I felt incredibly unsure of what we were suppose to do.  Lastly, like I said, we weren't planning on having a baby, however, we both feel 'off' but aren't sure what we're feeling... Any thoughts??? Suggestions?

[chrissymom]

Hey there,
As for what to do with the fetus, there is no right or wrong thing, it is your decision at the end of the day. The reason your partner and you may feel "off" is because whether you wanted it or not you were pregnant and you and your partner are more than likely coming to the realisation that a little part of both of you has just died. In answer to your first question, Yes, for some women the pain on having a miscarriage and the urge to put with the cramps are very much like labour, I experienced the same thing when I miscarried in september, It is indeed alot like labour, though  labour tends to be alot worse. only for some! I suggest that you go to the hospital to have a scan done to make sure the miscarriage is complete and that you will have no problems.. I had a very bad experience with mine and I don't recommend it! I hope everything works out for you and your partner. I hope you feel better soon and I hope this was helpful! :) x

[ku111]

This had to have been an absolutely horrible experience for you.  I am so very sorry.  You were pretty close to what labor would be like.  Your body went through the same as any one who was pregnant and labored.  I am concerned however that you monitor your bleeding.  Sometimes you have to have a D&C if there are any fragments left over.  Nurses push on your abdomen to make sure your uterus "clamps down"  and we also start Pitocin to help control bleeding.  Some people do just fine.  Make sure you are feeling better and better each day, make sure you are not soaking a pad an hour or having clots bigger than a golf ball x2, make sure there is no foul odor over the next few weeks and you do not develop a fever over 100.5, make sure the tenderness in your abdomen gets better and better.  I had a friend who delivered the same way with a miscarriage and she did not know what to do either.  There are many different ways people handle this situation.  Some just like yourself, some have funerals, some do cremation, many let the hospital dispose of remains.  There is no right answer.  There was NOTHING you could have done.  This was not your fault.  Sad things happen to really great people.  Babies know when their environment is not optimal for them and then a miscarriage takes place.  Not saying the same thing would ever happen again if you chose to have a child.  Your hormones and emotions are going crazy right now but then to add the loss to it.  It is normal to feel "off".  One day at a time and talk to each other often about how you feel.  It all kinda of hit you all at once because you really didn't know you were pregnant so you didn't have time to adjust to everything going on.  Again, so sorry you went through this.  Take good care of yourself and each other.

[Ktzen3]

I'm reading through everyone's posts and I hope that I am not coming off an insensitive.  Like I said, we were not trying to get pregnant, so this is a different experience, however I hope I don't offend anyone with my post :(