My poor little doughnut.

[Nolta]

This is a really sad month for me. This month my little doughnut was to be born on March 22. Today my bbt dropped below my cover line. There for no little bun in the oven to some what help with the pain.  I kept thinking if I can get pregnant again before the due date of when my little doughnut was to be born then maybe it would help ease the pain. Since I'm not pregnant which I am very sad about but it also adds to the pain and grieving I have for my first doughnut. I'm keeping my mind and hand busy. Lucky I have family visiting this month so hopefully they will keep me extra busy. I have already been crying and communicating with my husband about everything. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who dropped everything and just listened to me and let me cry and didn't take offensive when I didn't want to be help. I will get by I will move on but I just can't stop thinking about the miscarriage and thinking just maybe we decided to quickly that it was a miscarriage. I wasn't bleeding yet there just wasn't a heart beat when I went in for ultra sound so I keep thinking we had the dates wrong. But, Its all to late now. I will be starting my fourth round of clomid next week. It will the fourth month I have been ttc since the miscarriage.

I hope I will enjoy my anniversary this month because its on the 20th (2 years!) and doughnuts due date was the 22nd. Ohh please wish me luck and maybe positive feedback.

Thank you for reading and letting me get this off of my chest.

[Nolta]

Thanks everyone for responding. I'm just taking it one day at a time and keeping myself busy. My DH is excited to do more "extreme" beding this month. I have no idea what "extreme" means but I'm kinda looking foward to it....?

[jenkaye21]

I agree, too, with devine76.  I also have 4 healthy children as well as 3 angel babies.  So hard as it is to understand, sometimes losses happen for a reason and it will happen for you. Like she said, the fact that you can conceive is great news.  Hang in there!    

[devine76]

hi nolta i do realy feel your pain ive had a few miscariages in my time losing them about 3 x months a part in my time. but on a positive note ive also had 4 good healthy pregnancies before and after. my eldest is 18 and my youngest is 9 now and weve been trying for one more and in the last year of trying ive had 4 chemical pregnancys i think its just sometimes if something is not right the body rejects it natures way. and yes the pain will get better in time i promise it will. and you will have a baby at some point becouse if youv conceived once youl conceive again. keep your ****** up and good luck....  

[Nolta]

I know what you mean about your sister. You are excited for her but you don't want a reminder. My sister-in-law just informed me the other day she is expecting. So it was a big slap in the face but not by her. I'm happy for her and my brother but I'm also jelaous and angry. But, I keep reminding myself they have been trying long than me and are much older than me, so its only fair they were finally lucky. But, it still ***** for me.

Good luck to you and I hope good news will follow soon for the both of us.

[jenkaye21]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  My little one was due in June, and I know I will feel the same way you do now if i'm not pregnant again by then.  To make things even harder, my sister is due in June, just a day away from when I was,  so while I will be happy for her (of course!)  it will also be a difficult reminder (like I need one?) of my loss.  
I, too, am glad to hear that your DH is supportive, that makes a big difference.  Try to enjoy your anniversary, make some special plans, and know that it will happen in time!  And when it does, you will know that it really was perfect timing. :)

[Nolta]

Thank you so much. It means a lot to hear that.

[adgal]

Oh honey, I am so sorry.  Due dates are always a bit hard and I understand what you mean about wanting to be pregnant again.  Please know that it does get better, it really does.  And talking and posting about it helps..at least it always did me.  I am so glad you have a supportive husband, that makes such a difference.  Also, don't second guess yourself.  It was a loss, you didn't do anything wrong.  I wish you peace and healing, and lots of luck in ttc again.  Take care.