I've had seven miscarriages and now pregnant at 11 weeks find out the babies hearts stopped. They keep telling me it is from pelvic inflammatory disease, but they have never found an std preset to reflect that being a found reason. I don't understand, how they can diagnose p.i.d. without finding the cause, or claim that is the reason behind it. I want to know why, but nobody seems to have any reasonable explanations. I am being sent to two specialist for testing and for a d and c. I have so much scar tissue built up from all this trauma and the pain is horrendous, nothing seems to help. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry. I go to my doctor appointments and I follow what I am suppose to do but it never seems to be good enough. Am I ever going to be able to carry to term?
I feel like I don't want to live anymore, like I am not worthy to give a new life. What is it that keeps me from being viable? What have I done to deserve this? I don't mean to complain but am I ever going to get past this? I wasn't trying to get pregnant, decided I didn't want any kids and then met someone and got pregnant by accident. I've had a horrendous time accepting it, and by the time I finally did, he disappeared and I lost the babies this past weekend.
I'm so so sorry. I don't know why you keep m/c'ing . The one thing I do know is that it's not because of you or anything you did or didn't do. You don't deserve this; nobody deserves this much loss. I think there is hope though. Being put in the care of a specialist might be your answer. If they keep telling you it's because of pid...then question them and make them explain how/why/what to do now. Just make a pest of yourself until you get an answer.
For now though, you need to grieve this loss. Cry as much as you need. Talk aobut it for as long as you need. After my first m/c I saw a therapist and that helped me a great deal. I'll be thinking of you and again so so sorry.
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