cannot cope with second miscarrige

[Michaela707]

Hello
I had my 2nd miscarry 4th of june.I had light pink and brown bleeding for a one week. I was meant to be 9 weeks pregnant,I went to the hospital (epu) and was told there was nothink to worry about that  bleeding is common in early pregnancy. The next day I looked it up on the internet and alot of artices of delayed miscarriages so the next day I went back to the hosptial they gave me a scan and it turned out my baby's heart beat had stopped a week ago  at 8 weeks. I saw fetus on the scan. i'm driving my boyfriend crazy because I really want another baby but my boyfriend wants me to have time to recover which he is right because its my second misscarry but I cannot cope with like the second loss. He already has a son from someone eles and i feel im a fauile that i cannot give him a second child?

[kellyn]

I just had my 4th m/c, but 3rd in 12 months.  It has been a horrible ride trying to get our 3rd child.  I went into a deep depression after this last one.  My D&C was on June 20.  We are trying right now.  In fact, I think I Oed yesterday.  I waited after the last two and they still ended badly, so this time I'm putting it in God's hands.  I may not even get pregnant, but if I do, then I do.  I would love to wait, but DH might be getting a new job and if he does, he will be gone for 20 weeks only home on weekends.  That is not going to make it easy to get pregnant.  Let me tell you...I doubt in anyway that your husband feels like it's your fault.  They don't know how to deal with us, but they would never blame us.  We have two girls and after our last loss, we found out the sex of the baby we lost.  I was so scared it would be a boy and DH would be upset and blame me...but he was so upset that it was a girl it shocked me. This is one of the hardest things anyone can go through, so please vent as much as you need to who ever. I also find most comfort in places like this.  No one else really gets it!

[Avanaar]

I'm so sorry you've had to experience multiple losses.  My miscarriage in January was somewhat like yours.  I was supposed to be nearly 13 weeks pregnant and noticed some browish-red spotting.  I went to the ER and the doctors said that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks.

I know what you mean about feeling like a failure to your boyfriend.  My husband has three children from previous relationships and, at the time, those women did not take care of themselves during their pregnancies (drank or smoked weed).  Here I am, doing all that I can to make myself healthy for our baby, and I lost it.  It was devastating and made me wonder what was wrong with me.  But you have to remember it's not your fault.  Miscarriages are very common and are usually because something in the genetic code was faulty.  

You and your boyfriend are right to wait before trying again.  The emotional pain won't go away nearly as fast as the physical pain, but you both need time to grieve.  Remember to talk to him about what you're feeling, because chances are he's much more upset than he might admit and may need to talk about it too.  When you both decide to try again, I wish you lots of luck and baby dust!!

[adgal]

I am so sorry, and i know how hard this is.  I just had my third m/c, ended in a D&C June 1st.  2 of the 3 losses were around the 8-10 weeks mark.  You need to do whats right for you and your boyfriend right now. There is no right or wrong way to cope or deal with this, and you are absolutely not a failure.  I felt that way too, discussed my feeling with my husband, and he reassured me that this is not how he views it at all.  Many told me to wait to try to conceive again, but we are trying now (waiting to see if its positive or not).  I went into a deep depression for a few weeks after the last one, and saw a therapist for a couple of appointments.  It really helped alot.  That and talking to the people that loved me,and allowing them to support me through this (I have a tendancy to try to be too independant).  Take care of yourself, and please know I and many others are here if you need to talk.  

[JenK2008]

i am so sorry for your recent loss. i had my 2nd m/c june 11 and it was at 8 weeks also. it's hard going thru this all over again but i know it will get better. please do what you and your boyfriend feel is right for you.every one is different    

[Latrice414]

Hi, im sorry for your losses.  I had missed miscarriage june 12th and a d&c june 17th, and it was my first m/c.  I no the feeling of feeling like you cant give someone a child, my fiance has no kids and that was his first child.  I felt really bad because i really wanted this baby and so did he.  He wants me to recover mentally and physically before we try again. Physically i feel fine.  Mentally i am slowly recovering because for me it was a very terrible experience.  You should take the time out to recover before you try again.  Once you feel fine to try again then try. This is a good forum to express yourself because sometime friends and family dont understand what people are going threw unless they have been threw a m/c.  i gave up on talkn to friends and family becuase they have no clue, except my mom.  Also, i no some women on here who have gotten some fertility testing done after their 2nd m/c and found out they had clotting problems or folic acid defeciency and got on the right meds.  Im actually gona make an appointment with my dr to see if my insurance will cover that type of blood work, at least i can have that out the way.  My hcg levels were 29 4 days ago, i go back friday to retest and im hoping for it to b at zero.  I am going to ttc after my first cycle because mentally i dont think i couldve handled another m/c within a month apart.  Like your boyfriend said take time to recover and greive your loss, and when you feel emotionally and physically ready try again, do what you feel is in your heart.  IM me anytime if you need to talk.  Also, read some of the other post to see what other women have been threw.  I will keep you in my prayers, take care.