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miscarriage at 9 weeks
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miscarriage at 9 weeks

I had a miscarriage last thursday, was horrible in pain and lots of blood.
Today saturday still bleeding but not as much , still in bit of pain more discomfort really , been to Doc yesterday he said might have an infection and if I m still in pain I might have to do the d and c.
Not  sure what to do so feed up feeling sad, and useless.....
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Avatar_f_tn
I am so sorry for your lost I had a missed misscarriage in May at 12 weeks so I know the feeling you are not alone but as time goes by it will get better trust me I did read someone was still in pain awhile after her misscarriage and she ended up having an infections so go back to the doctor and have them check you out for an infection in the mean time if there is anything I can do like tell my story,give encouraging words or just a listening ear I'm here and you are not useless I had to learn that too because my fiancé and family were so excited because it was my first baby and i felt like I let them down but please don't be hard on yourself it only makes it harder and I'll keep you in my prayers i hope you are feeling better
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674725_tn?1367443230
Hi Cazz,

So sorry for your loss. Did your doctor give you an ultrasound to see if everything had expelled ? I've had 2 m/c's in the past. Expect to bleed up to 2 weeks. You'll feel sore because of the cramping you went through. I had some cramping after because there  were some little pieces of lining left - stopped after they came out ( if TMI - sorry).  Keep an eye out for fever, foul discharge - some signs of infection.  

As for the saddness in your heart - I hope that heals soon.  You may not feel like it will but, trust me - you WILL feel better.  After my first m/c , we were devastated.  I know what its like to get caught up in the excitement and all the plans you have for your baby, all the happy images you come up with.  It was a hard hard fall.

Meeting all these women here - some who have had multiple m/c's - was a huge support.  I'd asked one of these women - she's a mom now - how she kept going and she replied that her dream to be a mom kept  her going.  I hung onto those words and now I'm pregnant with my first - I'm 42 by the way and 34 weeks along.

So its okay if you need to vent , to cry and be angry - get all those emotions out because you've been through alot. You can ask or say anything here on MH.  Just don't give up hope. And then one day, you'll be here giving others in your shoes now - the same advice.   May your heart find peace soon.    
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks alot for your lovely words hope I get better soon as I m feed up feeling so sad and horrible, been to hospital yesterday and they said that i have to wait till tomorrow and if i still have cramps they will do me a scan.
We ll wait and see
thanks alot for your support...
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks alot for your lovely words hope I get better soon as I m feed up feeling so sad and horrible, been to hospital yesterday and they said that i have to wait till tomorrow and if i still have cramps they will do me a scan.
We ll wait and see
thanks alot for your support...
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1342070_tn?1287386036
I understand where you are coming from. I had a m/c 3 weeks ago. Up until now, I still feel like a failure who has let everyone down. I cannot vent it out to anyone because they do not understand how it feels.

Being in this community, it give me a space where I can share my thoughts and feelings freely without anyone (those who have not been thru this) telling me I have to get over it and should not grieve anymore because it will produce more negative energy.

Sue68 is right. Vent all you want here. Everyone will be here to support you.

Hugs and kisses,
Grace
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1342070_tn?1287386036
Hi, I just want to vent and have no place to do so. Yesterday was exactly one month after I found out I have lost the baby. I kept breaking down and crying my heart out. I kept saying to myself "how can it hurt this much still?" Worse thing is, my hubby isn't there for me emotionally. He said he is tired, tired of telling everyone that everything is alright. I guess I am one of the 'everyone'.

No one can possibly understand the pain we felt when we lost something so precious that had been growing inside. I quit making him understand. I just wish he could hug me. But I guess I should not be a burden to him and to everyone else. Nowadays, if I cry, I should just cry in the toilet. Away from everyone.

I don not know how much longer this pain will last but I know I will just have to go through it on my own. But being here, in this community, helps. All of you understands.

I am sorry if I am rambling. I do not know who to turn to anymore.

Grace
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1281211_tn?1303356265
When I read your story I couldn't believe how much I felt like you do, especially with your significant other not understanding...or anybody for that matter...I am actually experiencing a m/c right now. I went in for an ultrasound at 13 wks and the fetal pole and sac were there and was only measuring 7 wks. Well I charted and did everything to get preg so I knew when my LMP was. This was last Tuesday. So they took my blood to measure my HcG levels just to be sure, but since then I've been spotting yellow, then brown and now the last two days I've been bleeding on and off and today it's like I'm having a light period. So I was supposed to call the doc tomorrow (Monday) to get my numbers, but obviously I know what's going on. So I'm sure we'll move on to the D & C, which is what I want. I just don't want to have the emotional pain of going through this. It's so hard...

Anyways everytime I go to talk to my fiance about it he just doesn't say anything or he changes the subject. I finally got sick and tired of it yesterday and said, "Do you realize everytime I bring this up you just ignore it??" He just explained that he didn't want to talk about it and it hurt him to so he doesn't want to think about it. Well I responded with HOW DO U THINK I FEEL BEING THE ONE THAT HAS TO GO THROUGH IT...LITERALLY...and then on top of it not having anyone to talk about it with....

I cry a lot but only in the bathroom at night when everyone is sleeping...It's so hard not having someone to talk to...



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1342070_tn?1287386036
Hi NikkiCC, I so sorry you have to go through this. Have you called the doc and what did the doc say?

When I was told I miscarried, I know D&C is what I want too because I simply cannot bear thinking my baby is dead inside me. My d&c was two days later after I found out i m/c and the whole time I keep hoping against hope that the doc is wrong and that my baby is stil alive. But of course, the doc wasn't wrong.

I am sorry that your fiance isn't there for you. My hubby is there for me in the beginning and I was able to talk to him. But as time passes, I feel he is beginning to think I should really get over this. When we fought, and I told him how sad and depressed I was, he answered me by saying " You don think I am sad too? The baby doesn't only beling to you, you know?"

After that, I just shut down. He can't possibly understand how much it hurts to one moment having a baby inside you and the next moment it wasn't anymore. It was us who experienced the morning sickness, sore boobs, mood swings. And it was us who also have to go through the physical pain of going through the surgery and bleeding.

I do not mean to say he has no right to feel sad, and it was his baby too. But sometimes, i just wish he will try to understand and hug me. Even if he doesnt understand, at least just try to hug me when I cry.

Today it's exactly one month since d&c and I am anxiously waiting for my period to come.

I understand what you mean when you say no one to talk to. Some are not willing to understand and some who are willing to listen will not understand if they have not been through it. But you can always talk to me and I will be here always to listen.

Hugss,
Grace

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Avatar_f_tn
I'm sorry for your loss, i understand what your'e going through. I went for my first sonogram last Wednesday and was told i was going to have a mis carriage because they could see the gestational sac but nothing else. The Dr. scheduled me for the 2nd sonogram this morning and it was the same. It's hard because my husband doesnt understand how i feel and i feel like im going through this alone. I am scheduled for  d&c later today, i cant stand to wait for it to happen on it's own. If you need anything or to talk let me know. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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1281211_tn?1303356265
I know my fiance loves me and does care and I know he has a hard time showing his emotions because he had a really rough childhood, but sometimes its like just give it up...I get so mad...Like he was totally there for me for the first few days and now is just...I don't know...It's hard to explain...Like I can talk to him about it but he just doesn't say anything back and I know he says that he just doesn't know what to say, but my thoughts are like yours why can't he just not say anything and hug me even tell me it'll be alright...

It's just so frustrating...Last November 2009 we lost our son, Cole to SIDS. He passed away at only 4 months 4 days...I can't even begin to describe how that makes someone feel...So after about 5 months me and my hubby talked about the thoughts of another child. Let me tell you its tough as tough can get to even talk about that when you lost a beautiful perfect healthy baby boy...So we decided that we wanted to start trying again, and not to replace Cole, but because we wanted more kids than Cole. So if Cole had been here still we would've still probably been trying again. So I got preg one cycle ttc...I thought oh my gosh I can't believe just one cycle...It was totally amazing...This made me feel wonderful because I started thinking that maybe God didn't want me to have more kids and that it wasn't meant to be because of what had happened to my son, but after one cycle getting preg I thought that God wants this baby to be born. Plus the baby's due date was Dec. 21st so he was going to be my Xmas baby...This was just so special to me...Now I find out I'm miscarrying...At first I just kept thinking that God didn't want us to have more kids and that maybe he was trying to tell us something because of Cole and now this even after it only taking one cycle everything going great....

Well after getting on here and reading post after post I have realized that God isn't against me...and that he doesn't hate me...I realize that God does want us to have other children and this miscarriage could be because there would be problems with my little one and maybe he didn't think I could handle that again...Anyways all in all I know God loves me and he knows how much I want another baby and that we are great parents and one day I will have a beautiful baby...

Sorry to ramble...It helps so much to get things out!

Nikki
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1281211_tn?1303356265
I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through and I know the pain...I found out I was miscarrying a day before you. I just went back to the docs today and the only day they could get me in for a DC was Thursday! I'm so upset...So now I have two more days to wait....This is so scary to me because I don't want to wait for this to happen nor do I want it to happen...

I feel alone as well...I didn't for the first few days and then everyone seemed to think it was no longer a "big deal." Everyone makes such a big deal about when a perfectly healthy child is born, but what about the ones that are lost? So I can't believe this but my hubby works on a farm 6 days a week 17 hours a day and he cant even come with me to the DC...He keeps blaming it on the fact that he has to work, but I don't see his boss not letting him go with me...Maybe I'm just so upset because of all the horomones....

Nikki
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1342070_tn?1287386036
Hi Nikki,

You can vent as much as you want to. We are here to listen and share your feelings. Actually my baby's due date is very near yours. It was going to be a X'mas baby too. I hope I won't be too depressed this Christmas when thinking about how I should be having a baby in my arms during that time.

Everyone has told me the same thing too. There might be something wrong with the baby and maybe it is a good thing it stopped growing on its own. I am not sure that has made me feel any better about losing my child. Many has also told me that I should not be sad as I am young and will be able to have more children in the future. It is hard to make them understand that it is this child that I am sad about and a second child will not be able to replace this one. Adding to the fact that we have heard it's heartbeat 2 weeks b4 we found it stopped growing, it hurts even more.

I am so sorry that you have lost a son. I could not even imagine how that will feel. Sometimes I wonder why life have to be so cruel and we have to go through this pain.

So your d&c is scheduled for this Thursday? I know the wait will be excruciating because I too have to wait a day before the d&c. During the wait, I keep hoping my baby is alive, but alas...

You can talk to me when you feel like rambling. No one will judge you here and everyone will be supportive of you.

Hugs,
Grace
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1281211_tn?1303356265
I wish we were both still having our xmas babies. I still can't believe what is actually happening to me. Or the fact that this happens to any woman.

So my D&C was cancelled. Yesterday very, very early in the morning I ended up m/cing naturally, which it's almost better that way. I was really wanting the D&C because I thought it would take a long long time to happen and not to mention I really didn't want to see my baby pass. So as soon as the doc office opened I called and told her that I passed the placenta and then my baby later. She had me come down right away for a u/s to see if indeed everything was gone. She said that the sac and baby were gone. And also that it looked like I was almost done my period. Because she could see the my uterine lining was almost done shedding. Early this morning I had another clot pass and I'm thinking that it was the rest of the lining. I also was thinking it was in a clot because the doc also said the lining looked really thick. I'm assuming your uterus is thin for an egg to implant and then thickens up after implantation.

Honestly I can't wait until this is all done. Even though I will probably just bleed and spot from here on out I can't help, but feel that this isn't over because in all reality it isn't over yet. I just feel that everything is lingering and I hate to even go to the bathroom and see what I'm seeing. Well hopefully this will really be over sooner than later and me and DF can finally move on and look towards the future.

Thanks for being so supportive!

Nikki
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1342070_tn?1287386036
I am sorry that you have to go through this but perhaps it is better than to go thru a d&c which will thin your lining.

You are right about feeling everything is lingering. I too still feel that even though it has been more than a month. Probably because I am still waiting for my first af to come. I hope my body will heal fast and we can start to ttc.

But I do believe the future is still bright and all these will be over soon. I will be here to support you.

Hugs,
Grace
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1281211_tn?1303356265
I was actually thinking that as well, but I don't think they'll do that because everything is out of there now. All I can hope is that everything did shed and now my uterus is thin because that is technically what is supposed to happen everytime a woman has their period.

And I am so sorry! I didn't realize you already got your d/c done! I must've read something wrong! So how long has it been since your m/c? I think I got confused somewhere along the way...
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1342070_tn?1287386036
I had my d&c on May 21 when I found my baby's heartbeat stopped on May 19 (I was suppose to be 10 weeks) because my body can't expel everything out and I do not want to wait a week or two for my body to do. After that, other nightmares follows. Infection, pain, and most horrible is to wait for my af to come.
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1281211_tn?1303356265
I can definitely see why you wanted the d/c. I wanted one but everything happened a day before it was scheduled so there was no need. Well I've been trying to figure out my cycle somewhat and everything seems to be going great. So far I'm really lucking out with the way things are going. So I've learned that CD1 is the day the m/c occured. That was on 6/22, this past tuesday. So for CD1-CD3 I bled and then for CD4-CD6 (today) Ive spotted. today hardly anything at all. So I'm praying that this will officially be over tomorrow. It's kind of strange because on a normal period I bleed longer. From cd1-cd4 I bleed and then spot for two days. So the three days of spotting is hopeful.

With my m/c life seemed to play a cruel trick on me because my baby stopped growing at 6wks 5days and I didnt find out that this had happened until 13wks. So I literally went 7wks thinking everything was great. I just wished that it would've happened when it was supposed to. I would've been all over everything by now...

Well I will be seeing my doc on Tuesday to get an u/s and make sure that everything is gone and all is ok. I just pray that it is...This waiting to ovulate is just killing me...I can't imagine waiting to have af and no ttc. But Gracie you can do it and its your choice. You know when your body is ready. You will get through this and when you find out your preg again it wont even seem like you had to wait!

Nikki
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1342070_tn?1287386036
Hi Nikki, after my d&c, I bled for 10 days. I think my hormones are stil messed up. Anyway, i took a test last week and it came back negative so I assume the pregnancy hormones are out of my body already. So I will just wait patiently for af to come.

I am glad everything is going well for you now. It will just be a blink of an eye before you get a BFP again. Lots of baby dust to you.

Right now, my hubby and are not ttc but not exactly preventing as well. Well, if it happens, it happens right?

Grace
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