unbearable

sitting here yesterday woke up at 1am bleeding rushed to the hospital they took my blood and gave me a IV once the IV was in my arm I felt my baby come right out of me im so hurt I was horribly stressed my bd was giving me mixed signals and he stressed me out and I let him I feel so bad I just wish my baby was inside of me seeing that hurt me and I will never get over it im cramping bad and im all alone I just don't know why this would happen I was so much stronger with my baby now im back to being fragile the father got mad at me cuz I told him he stressed me out and he cussed at me and not going through what iam im just so sad I loved my baby so much and I was only 8 weeks all I wanted to do wad kiss him and hug him and feel loved idk what to do now I don't feel loved by anyone

[rach301]

Hi  lovelylay

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. Losing a baby is a terrible experience and I do know how u feel.

I have no children and I have lost 2 babies to miscarriage. I lost my 1st at 6 weeks and my 2nd baby was 9 weeks and 3 days. I have a missed miscarriage, so I only found out on my scans that the baby had passed weeks before. That's a hard way to find out, what you think all is going smootly, so that hurt.

I also had to have the D&C as I wasn't bleeding and my body did not seem to understand that my baby at died.

You loved, am sure many people love you. Your friends, family and ur partner. He might be lashing out at you because in his own manly way he is hurting too just like you, but men do not show emotion like us women do, they find other reason and they act like there angry because of that situation, rather than showing there emotional/senitive side.

At the moment u just don't love urself, so then u feel others don't too, but that's not true, am sure there are loads of people that LOVE YOU :-)

You need to be kind to urself and heal now. You have just experienced something really heart breaking, but in time u will slowly heal and u will learn to cope and smile again, trust me :-)

Miscarriages as awful as they are, does happen all too often to many women and it's VERY common. Ok that doesn't make it any easier I know, but sadly it's the truth. At this stage I know u don't wanna hear that, but i don't want you to lose hope for future pregnancies.

As I said I had 2, but I was one of the UNLUCKY ones, but normally most women will go on to have a healthy baby on there next try. I am not sure what's in store for me, but will wait and see.

Please be kind to yourself and look after urself ok.

Rachel

[Bkitty]

My heart is breaking for you. I am so so very sorry that you are going thru all this. Sadly I know exactly how you are feeling as I lost my baby on 12/11/12. I was 6 weeks and 6 days and I too felt and saw my baby slide outta me. Then I watched as the doctor sorted thru the tissue and threw it away in a red biohazard bag. My husband handled it better than yours is. But I know there was some times that my husband was a bit short with me too and cussed at me. Men handle things so differently. I felt like my husband had NO idea what pain I was in physically and emotionally. He seems to have gotten over it a lot quicker than I am. I am still traumatized. What I ended up doing was getting a star named after our little bean. I went to the national star registery and got a star picked out in the sky just for him/her. I think it was a boy. That has helped me some and knowing that when I die I will have a little baby in heaven all perfect and healthy waiting for me. I find some comfort in knowing that.

Physically the cramping and bleeding was God awful!! I bled heavily for 5 days straight with some of the worst cramps Ive ever had. I took motrin every 6 hours and took hot showers and used the heating pad and that helped a lot. It also helped coming here and talking about it. When my HCG levels returned to normal I started feeling a lot better mentally and emotionally. I was so depressed and I didn't think that I would recover from this experience. But slowly I am and slowly you will too. Be patient and kind to yourself now. I know its easy to blame someone but that only makes it worse. Its all in Gods hands and you will heal in time. (((((hugs)))))

[Jojobirmingham]

I have recently been through a similar situation. And it is a lonely process, no one quite understands your pain other than you. My fiancé was so hurtful and constantly pressured me to have an abortion. The more he said it, the stronger I felt to keep my baby. When he finally realised I wouldn't budge, he said he would stand by me and try to help. 3 days later I found out my baby had died. I feel like he is to blame, and although he tried to be supportive I can't forget the abuse he put me through for the whole 3 months I was pregnant. Your not alone, there are many women like us. But if you ever feel you need to talk then send me a message. Sometimes you just need someone who understands xxx

[lovelylay]

I feel a little better Iam not talking to my boyfriend for the moment as of now I wont be with him and moving on in my life he act like its not important to be here for me so im over him i still think about my baby and i plan on getting the name Landyn tatted to remind me of my baby i miss being pregnant but everything happens for a reason

[Jojobirmingham]

It's such a lonely feeling, like a part is missing from you. Well done for getting rid of him, I wish I was that strong, I keep wavering, yet deep down I know I can't move on until he is out of my life. You should be very proud of yourself.
I done a memory box for my fallen angel and it helped immensely xxx