Miscarriages Community
what point in your life did you miscarry?
About This Community:

This support community is for discussions and support relating to miscarriages.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

what point in your life did you miscarry?

I was wondering about all of you who have had miscarriages multiple or single.  

when you miscarried did you already have a child?  (live full term)

was this your first miscarriage?

I guess I'm wondering why????  Why me?  why us?  when this happens numerous times to a woman, does that woman ever have other full term babies?

I feel terrible for all of you who have experienced this multiple times.   I have a 4yr old now, and just miscarried at 13 weeks.  what are the chances of this happening again?  I'm becomming really scared that I won't have another chance.

for those of you who have had more than one, what does your doctor say?

How much medical reasearch have they done on this?  So many of us are suffering broken hearts.
Related Discussions
30 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry for your loss. I have had three miscarriages in the past two years - after having two perfectly healthy girls who are now 6 and 3. I have recently been diagnosed with MTHFR and have to take extra folic acid, baby aspirin and a multivitamin every day for the rest of my life. I actually have four gene mutations. I never knew there was anything wrong with me until after my second miscarriage. I had just found out I was pregnant two years ago and before I could even get to the Dr, I had miscarried. I was just far enough with the second to see the heart beat and was so excited and after being reassured that everything was fine and looked normal, I miscarried the next day. My last one just recently happened. I tested positive on an HPT on 09/26 then miscarriage 09/29 a day before my 30th birthday. I was so sad and depressed that I couldn’t even show it to anyone. I just hid it and sucked it up and put on a smile anyway. I called my Dr. and they asked me to come in and I told them I couldn't deal with it a day before my birthday and that I would be fine but would come in if I didn't stop bleeding or had any problems. I was reassured this last time that everything would be fine once I started taking the supplements but it wasn't. Everyone says well look on the bright side; at least you already have two children. I love my girls and I am so thankful for them but hearing that almost makes it worst. Just because you already have children, it doesn’t make the pain of your loss any less. I always wanted a boy. Now, I would just feel absolutely blessed to have another healthy child - Boy or girl. I wonder the same thing. Will I ever have another chance? I feel like just a number to the Dr's. I feel like they don’t really understand. I have had several different Dr's and opinions since all of this happened. My heart is still broken.
Blank
693804_tn?1304724074
My name is Lori and heres my story... I gave birth to my first son in 1987, perfect pregnancy and delivery, soon after his birth I was pregnant again and gave birth to my daughter in 1988, perfect once again. I decided to hold off for a few yrs before trying again, I didn't become pregnant again until 1995, but as fast as I found out I had a natural m/c. I became pregnant again soon after but it ended up being ectopic and I lost my tube. Once again I was pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby boy in 1997. I figured for sure that he was my last....Surprise, last yr at 40 I was pregnant again, I had some problems at 5 wks with a small tear in my placenta but all was well at 8-9 weeks. I felt great and was sooooo excited to start again, and then my whole world was shattered, at my routine checkup at just about 5 months, we couldn't find a heartbeat, I was sent directly for an u/s which confirmed my worst nightmare, my baby was gone. I was admitted to the hospital the following day and induced, I delivered my beautiful baby boy early the next morning on Oct 17. I was able to spend several hours with him, but that just wasn't enough, I thought my life was over, how could I go on??? I stumbled across this forum and decided to join, I met the most amazing women and became close friends with them. It was all of them that helped me to get where I am today, i'm truly grateful to them. I started TTC again in Dec.  and hopefully my dream will come true soon. I'll never replace my son, but I have so much love in my heart to share that I knew this was the right decision for me. You will find peace and not dwell on the why's I promise, it just takes time. My motto is "I will not let fear win" Good luck to you...Lori
Blank
631676_tn?1333721803
sorry for your loss. i had 3 MCs all w/in 11 months. there is no cause and nothing in common with the losses. had all the tests and two different docs say it is just bad luck. no kids. age 38.  
Blank
117065_tn?1280878007
I have one little boy, my first pregnancy and it was perfect!  When he turned one my husband and I started trying again for number 2........ my son is now seven and we still do not have another child.  I have lost five pregnancies in those six years.  one was a blighted ovum, two were natural, and two were ectopic (lost both of my tubes), my most recent loss being Aug. of 09.  Now if I want to get pregnant again IVF is our only option.  I am only 29, and for all intensive purposes I am sterile.  We still have not been given any kind of reason for all of our losses.  Weather you already have a child or not, the loss is heartbreaking.  I wish you all the best!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I had 4 miscarriages before I had my healthy baby and then another miscarriage then another healthy baby and now I am in the middle of a miscarriage

So to time line this.....  I was 17 to 19 with the first 4 miscarriages

20 when I had my son that same year I miscarried another time

and then had my other son at 26

I am now 34 and having  another miscarriage.

So the hope is there no matter what happens. I don't know why some of us have to go through this but don't ever give up hope that you will have your wish to be a mommy!
wishes really do come true!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I am on mc number 7.
Blank
924332_tn?1284577518
I became pregnant when i was 17yrs old and had my daughter when i was 18yrs old. I had her about 4 weeks and a couple of days early but she was perfectly heatlhy. I was on birthcontrol until december of 2007. As of january 2008 no more birthcontrol, but we were still avoiding. well January 13,2008 was my last period and also the first month we were TTC. And to our happy surprise got my BFP on february 15th, the day after valentines day. Wend to my firs appt the following week and saw my babys heart beat, when i went back on 03/20/09 the dr coudn't find a heartbeat.found out the baby had stopped growing and had a DNC. We have been trying ever since and hope we are blessed with our little miracle soon. Good luck to all you lovely ladies!!!!
Blank
919101_tn?1368113537
I'm sorry for your loss.  Hi my name is Tausha, I am 27 years old and no children of my own (1 step son). Got married in March this year....  I found out I was pregnant at the end of April this year confirmed by blood test May 2 and miscarried on May 6th(right before what would have been my first mothers day =(.  I don't know the cause but we have we have been TTC every since with no luck =(. I'm just hope'n to have at least one baby.  To all of you that have children thank god for them everyday they really are a gift.  Hope all the TTC ladies here are blessed with the most precious gift god can give us.  You are all in my prayers.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
1 m/c, no children

My uncle (a dr) has said to both my sister (who also had a m/c with 1st pregnancy, an accident so hasn't tried again) and I, that every time the sells divide, or every second the baby grows, the body is doing a check list. If there is a cross on the list rather than a tick, then there is something not right, which is why we have to go through the horrible experience of miscarriage.

Also 1 in 3 pregnancies end with m/c, which is still no comfort to those of us going through the pain.

Good luck to all of you x x
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
My miscarriage(which was recently) was my first pregnancy. I had been on birth control for 5 years and it took us a little less then a year of trying to get pregnant. We were so excited. But i had a gut feeling it would not come to term. I started spotting at only 3 weeks which lasted for two weeks. Everyone told me it was normal and not to worry but how could i not????? I had an ultrasound at 4 weeks and it looked fine but no heartbeat as it was too early. So I had another ultrasound at 5 and half weeks and there was my little guy with a heartbeat. At about 9 weeks I had a huge blow out with my mother because my family couldnt keep their mouths shut about the pregnancy when I specifically asked them to wait to tell the news( because of my gut instinct) until I was at least 12 weeks. Later that night I started spotting again. I had an emergency ultrasound the next day and there was no heartbeat. So my Dr. wanted to wait a few days and sent me for another u/s. Everyone told me that it happens all the time that they cant see the heartbeat sometimes and that I was spotting because of a cyst I had on my left ovary. I had stopped spotting by then so I was becoming somewhat hopeful but sure enough when I went for the second u/s my baby was dead. I carried for 2 more days before the process actually started which had to been completed by way of a D and E. Its been the most painful experience ever and I am just dying to know why it happened but there are no answers. So much pain, physically and emotionally, and so much money for doctors and hospital expenses and nothing to show for it. But I really like to believe that my baby is in heaven. I pray for all of us that have gone through this. I know there has to be a reason even if we cant and dont know why.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am amazed by the amount of responses that my post generated.  I'm so glad that all of you shared your stories.

  I'm sorry for the reason that brought us together here.

best wishes to everyone.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi I have had 4 children before I had my miscarriage.! I had 1 full term and the rest were all premature.One at 24 weeks one at 35 weeks and one at 36 weeks.I still do not have any answers as to why any of it happened.Sometimes there are no answers.
Blank
631676_tn?1333721803
i heard the same thing. it's like your body is a computer scanning for viruses 24/7. that helps explain why some happen at 10 wks, 12 wks etc even after heartbeat.

good luck to you all.
Blank
773214_tn?1295138669
My name is Dana.  I have a healthy 2 and a half year old baby boy.  In January 09 I became pregnant with my second child, but we found out on Feb. 13th that the baby didn't have a heartbeat.  I was around 7 weeks along.  I am now 31, and we have been ttc for over 6 months now with no luck.  I am hoping that if/when I do get pg. that it will be a healthy pregnancy but I also fear the worst now going through this situation.  I wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry for your loss.  It is easy to wonder "why me" and it doesnt ease the hurt you have just to say that it's a "common" occurance.  It still hurts and we may never know why it happens.  My dr. said if it should happen again they would do more extensive testing....it's disheartening to think that they can say that...when what it really means to you is "If your world gets shattered again, maybe now someone will care to help you out".  Again, I am sorry :(  
Blank
873190_tn?1304816575
DMarie919,  I completely agree that it is truly horrible that the medical community has to wait for so many unfortunate events before they will investigate.

I am 39, no kids yet, married over 3 years, my DH and I have had four mc over the last 18 months.  All investigations and blood work, everything has come back normal.  My RE is now running further tests for Natural Killers and an antiphospholipid antibody panel.  We had already tested for APAS and it came back negative, but I guess the panel is more indepth.  I really do not understand all of this testing.  It seems like they say, "We've tested for everything, there is nothing more we can test for." Then all of a sudden he is suggesting more testing.  He admits he really doesn't expect the tests to turn up anything but he is running them anyway.

So, in short, I am being told that all we can do is keep trying.  And it is just a matter of how many miscarriages we will go through to get the end result.

I have completely stopped telling people when I am pregnant because we get pregnant on the first try, however we lose it around the five week mark.  And I got soooo burned out from having to hear people tell me how sorry they are.

I mean the first preg I told literally about 40 people.  Then, I had to explain to 40 people that the preg didn't work.  Then, I had to sit and listen to how sorry those 40 people were.

Even my family didn't understand.  My sister specifically asked me, "who do you want me to call?"  She offered to call and notify the family members to spare me that drama.  And can you believe each and every one of them called me to tell me how sorry they were after she gave specific instructions NOT to call.  I know I am lucky to have family that cares so much, but it did not help to have to listen to all of the pain that they were feeling.  It didn't help at all.  It made it worse.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i had an early mc at 17, and then a mc at 12 weeks, when i was 19 after i got married
Blank
760368_tn?1257734589
I had a healthy baby girl in '06 no complications and it was my 1st pregnancy.  Then in August '08 I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks for no apparent reason.  I got pregnant soon after for a 3rd time and had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in January '09.  They sent me in to get all my levels checked but they found nothing wrong with me.  I got pregnant for a 4th time (my current pregnancy) and I am at 20 weeks now with no complications so far.  There was no rhyme or reason for my multiple miscarriages other than my husband was deployed in Iraq during the 2nd miscarriage so maybe I was under excessive stress.  I hope everything works out for you and you get pregnant soon!!!
-Laura
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I had a healthy baby boy in 03 it was my 1st pregnancy. Then in October 04 I had a miscarriage at 15 wks. I had another miscarriage in June 05 at 12wks. and another in January 05 at 6 wks. Then in January 07 I had my 2nd healthy baby boy. In July 08 had another miscarriage at 6wks. Now I'm pregnant and praying everyday everything is going good. I had a lot of test done but they couldn't find anything wrong.
-Jamie
Blank
1046985_tn?1305120648
I had my first child at 21, a healthy son. It then took 5 yrs to get pregnant again, but it was a pregnancy full of problems. I managed to carry my beautiful little girl to 21 weeks, but after continuous bleeding we both couldn't fight any longer, and she was delivered into eternal peace. I'll never forget holding her in my arms, and being so in love, and so very sad, all at the same time. Seven years passed and my husband and I drifted apart, as I don't think I ever really got over her. I met my new husband, and as I was 35, the thought of having anymore children never crossed my mind. Suprise, suprise six months after we met I fell pregnant again. It was so scarey, and I was to scared to even believe my baby would make it. My beautiful daughter is now nearly 11, and has the most beautiful heart and soul. I am also the proud nanny of a 3 yrold girl and adorable 5 month old granson. Never lose hope, and always believe anything is possible. Best of luck to you all, and may all your dreams come true.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
We got pregnant on the 1st try with our son and daughter. We were 22 and then 25. Now we are 31 and just had our first miscarriage at 5 weeks. We have been trying for 1 1/2 years. I think constantly, why after all this time did we get pregnant just to lose the baby? I am the only person in my family to ever have a miscarriage.
Blank
873190_tn?1304816575
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread, and thank you annaleesemom for starting it.

I hate that we all have this sort of thing in common.  But this is exactly the sort of thing that I have been curious about since I started conceiving 18 months ago.  And I have felt a lot of support in reading through everyone's stories.  Again, hate that we have it in common, but love that we all can support each other :)   Hang in there everyone.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi my name is Arlene, i am 38 yrs old, i have been trying to conceive for 4yrs, with 5 m/cs. No children for me, my huaband has 2 big ones 24 and 26 they dont live with us.
I am now pregnant and scared to death to go for my u/s. 4 of my losses were natural, loss them by the 4th to 5th week. 1 there was no fetal heart beat at 9wks. thats my horror heart breaking story. i really want to have 2 children but i will satisfy with 1.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Arlene,
I will pray that everything works out well for you.  I'm sorry to hear about your previous losses.

LETS ALL PRAY FOR ARLENE!!!!!  (yes, I was shouting)

how far along do you think you are?  Have the doctors any clues about why this has been happening to you?  Is there any special care you can be doing?  Were your multiple miscarriages close together in time or spread out??  I was told that you are more likely to miscarry if you just had one a month or two ago.  keep us posted.  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I am sooo grateful for your kind supportive prayer. i believe God has plan for me and i know all will be well one day!!

Sorry to say i went to the bathroom and i was bleeding bright red this morning, called my doctor and went to have first u/s which i dreaded and unfortunate there was no baby not even a sac the dr. says it could be a chemical pregnancy becuz i am not feeling pain so doubt it's a tubal pregnancy. i fainted when the dr. told me there was no, baby no sac.
Anna only prayer is going to help me through this ordeal, i am so distraught at everyone even myself, i feel like drinking some alchohol and get drunk!! i dont want to see anyone around me.
I am almost 8wks along thats what dr. told me today.
none of the several drs. gave me any clue. one of them told me that it was my progesterone that was low i went on prometrium and still m/c.
i dont know what special care that is why i am seeking help on these forum, just in case i am missing something. my m/cs were kinda close
i had one in june 09 and got pregnant in august 09.
next ? if there is no sac, no baby would my numbers be so high? first hcg level was 692, 6 days later it went up to 3900. i am so confused please help me do some search to see if there are any tests that i need to take. i did a panel of immune testing but there could be something that the dr. is missing.  thanks very much
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Unfortunately, there is nothing anyone can do or say to ease the pain.
     A few weeks ago I was mad at everyone!  I hated everyone.  I'm working through things a little.  oddly enough, I have been a little overly happy lately.  I think my hormones and body is still going through a lot.  I't kind of an odd way of dealing....  I'm afraid I am burying how I really feel.  Suddenly I am desperate to have a baby.  I would take twins!  Funny, because I couldn't handle it financially.
    Have you ever been to any kind of fertility doctor?  Do they have any reason why you are going through this?  I hope you have a lot of support at home.  
    This site really helped me....  best wishes to you.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
that how i am feeling right now, sometimes i feel like the drs. are even tired of seeing me. i've been to fertility Specialist there is no direct answer to all this. one of the m/c i had , they did a dnc, dr. told me the fetus was normal and it was only my antibody M that was higher than normal and he checked out what corollation does antibody M has to do with m/c and he said it is not related.
when i tried to bury my feeling it just got worst some days to the point that even my husband and i would almost seperate.
not a lot of support at becuz my and i keep eating up each other. the STRESS level i high. and he does not understand much of what i am going through. he has children from a previous lady.
he thinks i should not have to worry about this, there are many other ladies that dont have chlidren. Do i want to hear this? NO.
thanks much for support, this site is a saviour.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I totally agree that it doesn't make you feel any better to hear how "common"  or "normal" this is.  
*****.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Got pregnant the first time in Jan. 95. M/C in Feb. Got pregnant again in May 95, miscarried in July. My doctor did testing and found not only did I have a luteal phase defect, but I also have a rare balanced universal genetic translocation that means I only had a 50% chance of carrying a normal baby to term. Talk about a triple whammy!
Started progesterone suppositories and was pregnant again in Nov. 95. had the first ultrasound in Jan. 06 and everything looked good. Had appts. every 2 weeks throughout the pregnancy. I developed just about every complication you can, even bled after the amnio they did to check for genetic abnormalies and went into preterm labor at week 27 for the 1st time (out of a total of 3).
Long story short, through the grace of God and excellent medical care, I am the 45 yr. old mother of a very healthy, normal 13 yr. old teen-age boy. A true miracle baby!!!

Don't ever give up hope!!!! Continue searching for answers and know in your heart that it will come to pass for you!!!!

I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Christine
Blank
889551_tn?1416188083
My husband and I got married in April of this year. We've been together for several years. In January, we decided to stop the birth control and ttc. Naturally, I knew it would take a while for all of the bc to leave my system. It's been 10 months and I have miscarried once. I found out on September 17th that I was pregnant. I wanted to scream it to the world that after all of our trying, we had finally done it. I told my closest family members and DH and I were so happy! On the 19th I began spotting a little bit. My aunt told me that she did it with both of her children and that it was normal.

I felt like something was wrong, but I wanted to ignore it. I went to bed with a heavy heart and woke up the next morning. DH had gone to work and I was to go in at 1. I was cramping something awful. I was bleeding heavier, and I knew our baby was gone. I called into work crying and the store manager sent my husband home. We went to the ER and since it was early in the pregnancy, there was no sac. My HCG had dropped. The ER Dr came in an said that I was just having a period. Right. I looked over at DH and he closed his eyes as the tears started to fall. He sat back in the chair an put his hat over his face.

Two days later I went to my OB and she confirmed that I had been pregnant, but that I had lost it. She called it a chemical pregnancy. She told me to call the bleeding my period and to continue ttc since my bloodwork was showing a 4.3. I bled for a week. Then DH and I began ttc again right away. I have had no bleeding since Sept 20th. FOr the past two weeks I've had continuous lotiony white cm with moderate cramping and brest tenderness. I feel like I did when I found out I was pregnant. I tested and got some faint gray lines, and I feel like I just want to give up. DH and I are in our early 20's and we shouldn't be having these kinds of problems. It's so hard to put on a brave face everyday when all you want to do is cry.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I had a miscarriage at 12 wks, i was 24 yrs old and had a 15months old son.  We were away at the time, in Oxford, my son needed his skull remodelling so it was a stressful time.  Basically he went down for his 5 hr op, i raced off for a scan after noticing bleeding.  We were told then i had lost the baby.  They wanted to take me for a D&C but i refused, i needed to be there for my son when he came out of theatre so decided to go back and wait for nature.

Nature was kind, she gave me a couple days, my son had had complications and began fitting after the op so we were tooing from one hospital to another over those days.  One evening after we had watched him go to sleep in his hospital bed i began bleeding HEAVILY.  I had no pain, but the bleeding was horrendous, we were rushed over to yet another hospital where i was given emergency treatment, an overnight stay with a drip:(

Anyway as heartless as it sounds, i couldn't have given 2 hoots about my lost baby at the time..... i had a live one to worry about.  I never cried or grieved back then, not for yrs.  It was 4 yrs later that i began the process of grieving, this started in the form of nightmares and ended in depression.  But its over now.  I have no other children, but i wasn't keen on putting myself through any of that again either, so maybe rightly so.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Miscarriages Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Pregnancy Answerers
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
aruth
Baytown, TX
4447476_tn?1399400165
Blank
smilez0304
wooster, OH
7074486_tn?1389936422
Blank
Petrosdoll
TX
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
pregwith3rd786
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
lorinewmum
United Kingdom
1255151_tn?1413895426
Blank
rbohl01
Flushing, MI