what just happened??

I'll give the short version... I became addicted to hydrocodone 3 years ago, vicodin, vicoprofen, lortab. norco,
Then sometimes dilaudid or oxycodone.
All legit prescriptions.... then my dr. that was over prescribing me decided to cut me off.
I went throught withdrawals and started my recovery, went to NA meetings until I asked 2 women to sponser me and they told me they were too busy.
Words cannot describe what I felt to have finally reached out, gotten the nerve up, was willing to divulge every detail of my abuse and to be told "im too busy for you"
For timeline purposes  I started over using prescription drugs with no one knowing in 11/2008.
I got cut off in 3/2011
I saw cocaine for the first time after I left a NA meeting to stop by a friends house to pick something up.  Not knowing that they were into this drug.
I had been clean one week.
I said no that night.
1 week later I tried it.
I have used cocaine every day since 4/15/2011.
I can't stop.
No one knows, with the exception of my "friends" that use
My husband thinks I've "tried" it
I have a very good career, I have 3 children, and I 'm losing it.
Today was a day of motivation though.   I saw the inside of my nose and its literally being eaten away in that short amount of time.
I'm too afraid to go to rehab because  I do not know how to explain that to my job
I'm so disappointed in myself and my co workers, friends, and family will not be able to believe it.
Each day seems like one day closer to the end of my life...
HELP??

[sickofpillsandpain]

i dont really have much help or advice to offer.. i wish you alot of luck in finding the right path for yourself to take. i dont think that you withdraw from cocaine though. are you still taking the pills?

[Raylee505]

I remember being there. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I did. Drop me a note.

Raylee