My daughter is alarming me with her mood swings

[ConcernedMom19]

I always since infancy saw that my daughter had a temper that was fierce. As she got older I chalked it up to terrible twos, then terrible threes, school started and she had social issues and some behavior, then she was fine for a year at school. Her at home behavior still was that of extremes. She would be happy but if I told her no, she will have a major episode: throwing herself on the ground, screaming for sometimes 3-4 hours, kicking, destroying, not able to listen to reason - just in a zone. Now she is 6 and from 5-6 years old, her behavior at school is horrible. Her social skills are next to none, her defiance of all authority figures has hit an all time high, her temper is uncontrollable. Once she gets upset e.g. I may tell her it is time for bed and she must sleep in her bed, she starts punching herself, punching the floor, saying she wants to kill herself, she hates herself, saying I don't love her anymore, all her friends don't like her at school, that she is having a really bad day. All this while she is grunting and screaming. It was very disturbing. My baby girl is suicidal at the age of 6? I don't know what to do. She has been reading since 2 years old. Her ability to process information is that of a teenager. My child is gifted yet exhibits some special needs. I don't know what to do, how to discipline her in a way that is productive. The stress caused me to have chest pain, migraine, stomache pain, and I am throwing my hands up in the air looking for answers. Please help me.

[Jaquta]

I saw something similar (but different) in an episode of Supper Nanny.  She wrote out a set of rules for the parents that the child and parent could refer back too.
Several of the rules were be patient and listen.

That's how I perceive criticism or rejection.  That same grating, screeching sensation.

[Peter Forster]

This is a difficult but important problem.

Seeing a child psychiatrist or psychologist would be a very good idea.

What you describe does not sound like "mood swings" in the sense that we mean when we talk about bipolar disorder. It sounds more like something similar to oppositional defiant disorder or possibly some kind of attachment disorder.

The way I have come to think about oppositional defiant disorder (which I first learned about trying to understand certain adults who seemed intent on taking on the world, battling authority (the man) at every turn... perhaps good for society but pretty hard on themselves) is that it is as though these kids experience discipline the same way many of us experience fingernails on a chalkboard or squeaking balloons - a visceral psychological distress that is not under their control.

OK, but it is also true that the challenge of parenting is about preparing kids to be adults, and this kind of behavior as an adult tends to be pretty maladaptive.... So you can't avoid discipline, and you may well have to be firm with them even though it leads to tantrums... but to the extent you can it is good not to get emotionally engaged in the battle... because all of a sudden there are two people who are feeling out of control rather than just one.

It is very hard work and requires patience, and, I think, support... but it is also potentially heroic work... because the outcomes can be amazing.

So, back to the initial idea, a good child psychiatrist or child psychologist, and one who is very comfortable with working with the whole family.

[Jaquta]

It almost sounds as though she feels misunderstood, hence the distress.

I would have her seen by a child psychologist or psychiatrist.  I think that you need to have her assessed.

When you mention gifted my first thought is of autism.

If you're stuck you could always ask your family doctor for a referral.  There is also a child behaviorist expert forum (or something to that effect) here at medhelp.  They may also be able to offer advice.