Hello there, I am 19 year old female. I have a history of bulimia, self-mutilation and depression. 2 months ago I completely changed my lifestyle. I finally stopped purging and cutting. I started exercising every day and I changed my diet - no processed foods, no meat, no diary, no coffee. I went from being suicidal to happy and joyful in no time. My energy levels skyrocketed. The change was so huge that everyone around me thinks I have a new boyfriend, or something. I do not have any troubles sleeping anymore and I am able to wake up in the morning full of energy. Now here is my concern. Since last week every afternoon/evening my mood changes rapidly from happy to heavily depressed. During this time I cannot think clearly. Once I made a lot of cuts on my arm, the other day I wanted to overdose myself (stopped early enough not to cause permanent damage), Other days I "only" binge or do something else "less" crazy. Later in the evening the mood slowly gets back to normal. So here is my question? Is this normal? If so, how can I deal with these outbursts of depression so that I don't harm myself anymore? Thank you for your help.
Congratulations on the changes that you made. Clearly you have the ability to channel your energy and intensity in ways that are very positive.
Several questions came to mind as I read your post -
Is this a dip in energy and alertness (which is normal for everyone in the early afternoon) that is then triggering negative thoughts... perhaps if you just took a short break or nap (less than an hour) you would be able to finish the day well?
Were you overdoing your activities, and perhaps not getting enough sleep - in which case scaling back a bit might allow you to get into a more sustainable level of activity and sleep ( a bit more sleep and a bit less activity).
Thank you for your answer! Well, I used to punish myself with not getting sleep, when I did not study enough during the day. With all those changes I made I am also trying to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night, and I really don't think I am overdoing myself. Although I do not feel tired or exhausted at all during the day, I will try to take a nap and see how it works.
What you describe sound like some of the symptoms/ behaviours of bpd.
My interpretation of what has happened is that something happened to trigger you to change your behaviour. One of the former experts here at medhelp, Dr Gould, said that was due to relationships. I might have read that in his blog.
The behaviour is not normal (in my opinion). I think that you should see a psychiatrist for an assessment.
You could try looking up borderline personality disorder. Just a thought.
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