i wake up at 7 am feeling like a ******* robot just doing my day to day routine. i walk down stairs grab something to eat as i walk to the shower(if not just coffee). i get out of the shower and sit for prabably an hour or so and just drift away into my mind thinking of anything that i cant seem to find an answer to or figure out and also thinking of where im at, what has been accomplished and of course the never ending question why. as i get into my car on the way to college i smoke at least 2-3 cigarettes to school(10 minute drive) along with a big redbull. As this seems to be the only way i can keep my attention on what the hell is being said during lecture. i cannot stay in one postion for more then at most a couple minutes. I am constantly moving some part of my body whether it be tapping my pencil or my leg jumping up and down to keep me up and focused. as class ends i walk to my car without talking to anyone, get in, turn on the music and light up a cigarette for the ride home. on my way home i think of the 30$ gym member ship i have, then i choose to never go apparently. i get home and then lay on my couch to sit and recollect all that i have learned that day. coming to find out that i havent learned anything and my professors are idots.i sit through the political science power points and stare attentively as if i was really learning and paying attention. But i am not listening to a single word nor am i reading anything. I just sit there inside my mind questioning everything and constantly unable to focus even on my own personal thoughts. On another note i am extremely unorganized and hard to motivate when it comes to something that doesnt interest me .
Obviously I can't diagnose on the basis of an email exchange. There are a number of things that could be contributing to how you are feeling. ADHD generally represents a lifelong pattern (it shouldn't suddenly develop) and should be relatively constant. Depression is an alternative explanation, that would be expected to get worse and better and could develop suddenly in life. Anxiety is another possibility.
I would also say that many younger people that I have seen have similar problems and, in general, I don't think we do as good a job as we should in teaching people about good habits, good sleep habits, healthy living habits, etcetera.
I am not sure where you are in terms of considering making a change, but there are a number of ways you could begin. Seeing a mental health professional with experience working with young people, perhaps a school counselor? Investigating mindfulness practices? ...
i have talked with school counselors and therapists, this was helpful to get a different insight but my pattern of thinking/behavior and moodswings never went away. This is why i was thinking that maybe a psychiatrist could do me more justice. I would also like to add that bipolar is in my family on my fathers side and my mother has had sleep problems for as long as i can remember but she was never diagnosed with anything. i also fear the self medicating lifestyle of alcoholism that seems to run in my family...
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