How to do Cog Fog

I had a neuropsych eval. this week , for a base line. I've known my mental abilities were failing me for many years . Holding my own conversationally, word retrieval,( recently slurring) etc.    I thought this testing was a good idea, since I do have a few lesions , just to keep track...

It didn't go so well . I am sometimes very naive about things .  I thought this was to tell which areas of my brain are failing ..   Anyway ,  part of the test was I.Q , the guy told me my score and it has fallen in the toilet.  I had been tested in '82, and received , quite adequate score. This new result was quite shocking , I cried for a whole day. ( I really started crying because of something touching that was said here and then I couldn't stop).  I live in denial most of the time but this all brought reality home and my true emotions out .    I'm devastated.

Does this mean brain damage??      2-3 years ago I was just recovering from hep-c., petty sick ( almost twenty yrs.) ..   I had one good yr. then  fatigue started to set in , again.   Then the neuro sx.s .   I can't believe this is  happening, again.

In that good yr. I thought I could get back on track career wise . I wasn't disillusioned  ,I knew it wouldn't be easy.  I'm a want-to-be artist and thought I'd go in that direction . NOT !!  When I do have the energy to pick up a brush my hand aches and cramps( I've recently gotten the banding in right hand) .That would be the least of it . My self confidence had been in the c.r.a.p.p.e.r   for awhile too , well at least it has company now.  SSoooo   no self-esteem , no energy ,   no brain   .. What's a girl to do ????

This brings me to the point . I know many others are having struggles with work, identity, facing people while having cognitive problems, and all the physical stuff and raising families, dealing with families.       How do we DO this??           I don't know if I can...   Any body else struggling, weigh in

I do know one thing ..  I am very blessed to have found this family ..  

Thanks for listening          ((( HU  jo  GS)))     I gave myself a hug.:))

[Momzilla]

It doesn't have to mean brain damage, Jo.  It may mean your neuro system is stressed.  I had the testing done, and I did very well, when I know that if I had done the testing just two months before, I would have done miserably.  Like you feel you've done.  My husband said he barely recognized the person I'd become....

Hang tight.  These symptoms are transient, usually.  This too, shall pass.

It did for me!

Hugs,

Zilla*

[LLWB]

I don't have any suggestions, but this forum is the best support I can imagine. If you just wait, someone will come on, and have answers for you. I'm still in Limbo. You just have to reach deep inside oyurself, and say "I can do this!" Somedays the fog is thick, then it breaks and you can see forever.........((((((((hugs)))))))))

[Rena705]

I told Quix about half an hour ago that I was going to stay away from the Forum for a while cause I am not feeling myself, not sure why but I am concerned that I might say the wrong thing to someone.  

However, I can't just sit here and listen to your pain without responding!

When I was in elementary school they did I.Q. tests on all the kids, me included.  My parents were told that my I.Q. was low and that they shouldn't expect too much out of me but they didn't believe in such a thing.  They knew that if they nurtured their adopted child  to the best of their ability that she would thrive...well, I am not a doctor or a lawyer or anything of the sort but I am a caring, loving person with the ability to try and help people and that is what I try to do in life.  

I was feeling down on Friday night and I was talking to a former co-worker from a hospital I used to work at.  I really loved that job but had to leave for various reasons but now those reasons have left and I have been invited back!  Oh to be able to return to what I was...but I have realized that...no...it's time to move on.  I know deep down that I won't be able to do that job again and yes it hurts like he** BUT...I have also been told that I am more that welcome to come to the hospital and work with the residents anytime I would like as a volunteer.  What an opportunity!

I feel that sometimes we have dreams that are just not meant to be and we have to move on regardless, especially when our health isn't cooperating!   However, I also believe that there is a place for all of us in this world and maybe some of us just haven't gotten over the pain enough to look a little farther for that place.

In my opinion, you would benefit from a little counselling (wouldn't we all??) and you need to get the information that is out there that will help you to cope.  I would imagine that there are a lot of kids out there that are just chomping at the bit to learn how to draw or paint and don't have the means to do so...why not try volunteering to help kids learn how to draw or paint?  

It's something to think about honey and you need something to look forward to as well.  I am a believer in the idea that you have to look after yourself first and that is what you have to do honey...look after your emotional health and I believe that once you are feeling more confident and happy, the rest will follow.  We all know that stress is a nasty thing when we have MS and trying to deal with it on your own is not good.  I will be the last one to recommend exercise because to be honest with you I just don't feel up to it myself as is I imagine most of us but they say it is good.  I think in  your case you need to focus on what you can do, NOT what you might not be able to do!  Give it a try honey...I hate to see you so unhappy...it is so unfair to you and you do have things to offer, give it a try!

Lots of Hugs,

Rena
  

[young at heart]

HONEY, WITH THIS ILLNESS COMES THE FOG, IT DOES PASS.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS WHEN EACH MRI SAYS NO ATROPHY,I HAVE ATROPHY FROM THIS BLESSED DISEASE,BUT I COUNT MY BLESSINGS,BETTER ME THAN ONE OF MY CHILDREN,SIBLINGS OR EVEN MY ROTTEN X-HUSBANDS.

MY ATROPHY IS BILATERIAL IN THE OCCIPITAL REGION,WHICH EXPLAINS MY VISIUAL PROBLEMS.I AM RETURNING TO COLLEGE,REAL ESTATE APRAISAL,I CAN'T VISUALLY LEARN AND RETAIN,BUT AUDIO I CAN.I'M HALF WAY THROUGH THE COARSE AND QUIT WHEN I GOT SICK 3 YEARS AGO,BUT I'M GONNA GIVE IT AGO AGAIN.

MY OLDEST IS DYSLEXIC AND IF I WOULD OF LISTENED TO TEACHERS MY DAUGHTER WOULD OF NEVER GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL LET ALONE GOING TO COLLEGE.

YOU HAVE MUCH TO OFFER YOURSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU,YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PAINT TODAY,BUT TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY.

WHEN WE ARE STRESSED AND OUR SYSTEMS COMPRIMISED ARE BRAINS DON'T DO SO WELL,IF YOU WERE TO TAKE THIS TEST AGAIN YOU MAY DO OVERWHELMINGLY  WELL.

I GET BRAIN FOG,ITS PART OF THE DISEASE IT COMES AND GOES,IT CAN BE DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH,BUT ITS EASIER TO ADJUST TO AND WORK AROUND IT.

MANY DAYS ARE A STRUGGLE FOR ME,BUT ITS LEARNING NOT TO GIVE IN,YOUR A VERY STRONG PERSON AND YOU CAN OVER COME THIS,YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM ITS JUST HIDING,YOU ARE STILL THE TALENTED GIRL YOU USE TO BE.ITS DIGGING DEEP AND FINDING HER AND FIGHTING FOR HER TO STAY ON THE SURFACE.

WE HAVE ALL BEEN IN YOUR SHOES.

I'M A SINGLE MOM,WITH A TEENAGE SON(16) AND A 13 YEAR OLD GIRL STILL AND HOME.I ALSO HAVE AN 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IN THE NAVY AND A 22 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.ITS NOT BEEN EASY,BUT I HAVE TO DO IT FOR THEM.

I NO LONGER WORK,NOT BECAUSE OF THE MS ,BUT BACK PROBLEMS.

HONEY YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU,YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

SENDING YOU HUGS AND PRAYERS.

T

[cjacks]

Thanks for all of your posts and encouragement .

I really didn't mean the thread to sound so pitiful . I got a little carried away. I really wanted others to have a chance to talk about their struggles and how they are dealing /coping with it all ( the loss of brain power  eerrr   a little over the top , but it is how I feel)  

Rena , its funny you mentioning teaching kids to paint .  I've been mulling this and a couple of other ideas around .. I have a studio and have  thought of a few possibilities when the fatigue lifts. I too like working with seniors.

T-Lynn   I'm so impressed. Good luck with the remainder of your studies . It sounds like you are a very determined lady.   It must be wonderful to have such a full family . I remember you talking about your navy daughter coming home for the holidays.

Chris -    I'll keep an open mind ..  I was always a fighter .  I'll find it again

LL -   Such sweet inspiration    Nice hug too

Jo

[young at heart]

JO

ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO PUT OUR FEELINGS IN WRITING,IT DIDN'T SOUND PITIFUL,
YOU DIDN'T GET CARRIED AWAY,THESE ARE YOUR HEARTFELT FEELINGS AND ITS GOOD TO ADDRESS THEM THEN TO KEEP THEM ALL PENT UP.

BRAIN FOG GETS US ALL.WE ALL HAVE OUR STRUGGLES

WHATS FAMILY FOR,WE ARE HERE FOR YOU AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WALK THIS JOURNEY ALONE.

T

[Rena705]

I am really feeling positive for the idea of you using your artistic talent to assist people that want to learn your skill!  It's so fulfilling to volunteer and I, like you, REALLY enjoy working with seniors!  The hospital I used to work at was mostly seniors and I really did love it!

You have such an advantage already in having your OWN STUDIO!!!  You don't have to worry about going out into the weather and such and you can work where you get the most out of life I would imagine...where you express yourself through the beauty of your art!  

I really think that you have a lot going for you cjacks and I just know that you will succeed!!

Now, maybe since  your body is not exactly cooperating, start thinking of ideas for your students and what sort of homework you are going to give them!  ha ha  You are in charge of your own destiny honey and I believe you are going to be Just Fine!!!

Lots of Hugs and Brush Strokes!

Rena