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Anyone, does this sound familiar?
I thought it was time to revisit this for our newer members.
Okay, I woke up this morning and this played out in my mind. WARNING -THE FOLLOWING IS BIZARRE AND TWISTED - READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!
Patient walks into doctor's exam room and nurse asks, "Why are you here?"
Patient - "I've been diagnosed with ADS - Appendage Dropoff Syndrome."
Nurse, "Okay, the doctor will be in shortly."
Doctor - "Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pfufinek. What can I do for you?"
P - "Well, I was diagnosed two months ago with ADS, but now my insurance has changed, and I'm worse, so I'm coming to you for care"
Dr. - "How was the diagnosis made?"
P - "Well, first my pinky and ring finger on the left fell off. Then, a month later my left nostril fell off. And shortly after that I lost my right earlobe."
Dr. - "I don't diagnnose ADS until 4 appendages have dropped off."
P - "Well, that is four, a nostril, an earlobe and 2 fingers!"
Dr. - "I would count the two adjacent fingers as one appendage."
P - "Okay, that's why I'm here. Yesterday my right arm dropped off, and I'm really worried! That makes 5 appendages, or four by your count. Shouldn't I be on some Disease Modifying Drugs to slow all this down?" The Patient lays the arm down on the doctor's desk.
The Doctor puts on gloves and distastfully sets it aside. "Hmm...Does your urine glow in the dark?"
P -"No, but they said that only about 60% of patients' urine glowed in the dark."
Dr. - "I won't make the diagnosis without glowing urine. Besides you're too old"
P - "But, there is no upper age limit. Lots of people older than me have been diagnosed with ADS. I've already been diagnosed and I'm getting worse. I'm desperate! Every morning I count everything to see that it's all still there!"
Dr. - "Ahhhhh, I see....Do you have a history of anxiety?"
P - "Only since things started falling off on me."
Dr. - "I think you should have a psychiatric evaluation. This all is just probably a stress reaction.
P - A STRESS REACTION!!!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Have you had all of the mimics excluded? "
P - "I think so, I was checked for Farm Equipment Accidents, Gangrene, Motorcycle Crashes, Recurrent Ninja Attacks, Machine Shop Malfunctions, and evidence of Werewolf Infestation. And of course, I was checked for Absentmindedness, but there was no evidence that I merely mislaid something and didn't notice."
DR. - "Is that all?"
P - "I think so. What about a DMD?"
DR. - Well, I don't think you're bad enough off yet to begin treatment. And there is no evidence that your disease is progressing.
P - What!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Any number of things could have caused that."
P - I don't understand how you can say that. Other people with less disease than I have get the DMD's. That's the current recommendation. How can you say I'm not "bad enough?"
Dr. - "You can still walk and have full full use of your left arm, except for the two fingers. They really aren't that much help anyway. But, you should be evaluated for Leprosy. Many people don't know that this, too, can mimic ADS. It's rare, but someday I will find a case. I have a contact at a leper colony in Brazil." The doctor walks to the door, "Nurse, Please quarantine our patient here and make preparations to ship him immediatley to Brazil."
The Patient is led away in shock and bewilderment.
Sound familiar to anyone?
The Quizzler
Okay, I woke up this morning and this played out in my mind. WARNING -THE FOLLOWING IS BIZARRE AND TWISTED - READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!
Patient walks into doctor's exam room and nurse asks, "Why are you here?"
Patient - "I've been diagnosed with ADS - Appendage Dropoff Syndrome."
Nurse, "Okay, the doctor will be in shortly."
Doctor - "Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pfufinek. What can I do for you?"
P - "Well, I was diagnosed two months ago with ADS, but now my insurance has changed, and I'm worse, so I'm coming to you for care"
Dr. - "How was the diagnosis made?"
P - "Well, first my pinky and ring finger on the left fell off. Then, a month later my left nostril fell off. And shortly after that I lost my right earlobe."
Dr. - "I don't diagnnose ADS until 4 appendages have dropped off."
P - "Well, that is four, a nostril, an earlobe and 2 fingers!"
Dr. - "I would count the two adjacent fingers as one appendage."
P - "Okay, that's why I'm here. Yesterday my right arm dropped off, and I'm really worried! That makes 5 appendages, or four by your count. Shouldn't I be on some Disease Modifying Drugs to slow all this down?" The Patient lays the arm down on the doctor's desk.
The Doctor puts on gloves and distastfully sets it aside. "Hmm...Does your urine glow in the dark?"
P -"No, but they said that only about 60% of patients' urine glowed in the dark."
Dr. - "I won't make the diagnosis without glowing urine. Besides you're too old"
P - "But, there is no upper age limit. Lots of people older than me have been diagnosed with ADS. I've already been diagnosed and I'm getting worse. I'm desperate! Every morning I count everything to see that it's all still there!"
Dr. - "Ahhhhh, I see....Do you have a history of anxiety?"
P - "Only since things started falling off on me."
Dr. - "I think you should have a psychiatric evaluation. This all is just probably a stress reaction.
P - A STRESS REACTION!!!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Have you had all of the mimics excluded? "
P - "I think so, I was checked for Farm Equipment Accidents, Gangrene, Motorcycle Crashes, Recurrent Ninja Attacks, Machine Shop Malfunctions, and evidence of Werewolf Infestation. And of course, I was checked for Absentmindedness, but there was no evidence that I merely mislaid something and didn't notice."
DR. - "Is that all?"
P - "I think so. What about a DMD?"
DR. - Well, I don't think you're bad enough off yet to begin treatment. And there is no evidence that your disease is progressing.
P - What!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Any number of things could have caused that."
P - I don't understand how you can say that. Other people with less disease than I have get the DMD's. That's the current recommendation. How can you say I'm not "bad enough?"
Dr. - "You can still walk and have full full use of your left arm, except for the two fingers. They really aren't that much help anyway. But, you should be evaluated for Leprosy. Many people don't know that this, too, can mimic ADS. It's rare, but someday I will find a case. I have a contact at a leper colony in Brazil." The doctor walks to the door, "Nurse, Please quarantine our patient here and make preparations to ship him immediatley to Brazil."
The Patient is led away in shock and bewilderment.
Sound familiar to anyone?
The Quizzler
I actually did LOL.
Then I cried, but that's not a bad thing. The tears were because it was brilliantly written. Now I'll go mop myself up, feeling like someone gets it.
Thankyou
Then I cried, but that's not a bad thing. The tears were because it was brilliantly written. Now I'll go mop myself up, feeling like someone gets it.
Thankyou
It made me cry because you wrote exactly what I experienced. You said it in a humerous way but to the bone so true! I kept losing body parts. First a foot then a leg then my spine then another foot then that leg. It was when it went to my dominate hand I walked away. The idiot could blame it one age, weight, nerves, drama, lack of exercise until that point.
Thank you! Please do not remove it.
Thank you! Please do not remove it.
Quix, Please write a book. This made me cry. It is exactly what I tried telling my neurologist.
There's an old saying that claims ignorance is bliss. This explains why so many of our neurologists smile as they usher us out the door.
This was really funny. It's a good thing I get in early and there aren't too many people around, because I was laughing out loud. :-) Thanks, Quix.
JJ--I love your husband's description, if you were more ignorant, then you'd be happier!!
Stephanie
JJ--I love your husband's description, if you were more ignorant, then you'd be happier!!
Stephanie
I remember reading this out to my partner before my dx and we both had quite a laugh, I must admit it's funnier after dx than when you are in limbo. I enjoyed it the 2nd time round though too - lol.
Pat
Pat
YaaaHaaaaHaaaa! That was hilarious!! Gawd, why do doctors DO this?!?
I'm so glad I have a sane one...my heart goes out to those still on the quest for answers.
Cheers,
Guitar_grrrl
I'm so glad I have a sane one...my heart goes out to those still on the quest for answers.
Cheers,
Guitar_grrrl
COMMUNITY LEADER
It's just so true, I think i might have a slightly negative view of professionals though, i'm sure a lot dont know their arssss end from their elbow, i tend to find i know more about something than the dr/psychologist/psychiatrist/behavioralist (cont. infinitum) i've waited a long time to see and paid my hard earned cash to (I wish i was exadurating), if i wanted a balonee sandwhich i would go to the deli.
Just a few little stories:
Mum gets rushed to ER with 0 urine output for 48hrs & crippling kidney pain (long history of kidney prbs) ER do tests then with out waiting for results dr states she doesn't have anything wrong with her kidney, she's pulled her back out, ignoring patients history and protests, sends her home with script for pain meds. Early am phone call from ER to tell her not to take the meds because they will cause her to go into acute renal failure and she will loose the already damaged kidney. Mum knew her body, suffered at home treating herself, developed 0 trust of ER.
Daughter - GP referal to same hospital out patient clinic, never the same dr
Dr 1 - dx dyslexia
Dr 2 - dx non verbal learning disorder
Dr 3 - dx ADD
Dr 4 - Bipolar
Dr 5 - Asperger Syndrome
Son - GP referal to same hospital similar story
Dr 1 - dx Asperger Syndrome, ave IQ, (Early Intervension, special school)
Dr 2 - dx Autistic Spectrum Disorder, high ave IQ, anxiety/rage disorder - (medicated)
changed clinic
Dr 3 - dx Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia, moderately gifted IQ, (therapy)
Dr 4 - dx anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, exceptionally/ profoundly gifted IQ
I have way too many he said she said's and they change the dx based on their specialty, everytime another specialist gets involved ooh we get another dx, its enough to turn you nutty. I dont wonder why i now ask the dr's so many questions? My DH has been joking for years about me having the 'I dont know but we'll call it stress disease', he thinks the problem is my lack of ignorance, thinks its not helpful knowing that stress doesnt cause xxx, if i was ignorant i'd feel better ROFL.
Anyway it was fun to read.
Cheers.......JJ
Just a few little stories:
Mum gets rushed to ER with 0 urine output for 48hrs & crippling kidney pain (long history of kidney prbs) ER do tests then with out waiting for results dr states she doesn't have anything wrong with her kidney, she's pulled her back out, ignoring patients history and protests, sends her home with script for pain meds. Early am phone call from ER to tell her not to take the meds because they will cause her to go into acute renal failure and she will loose the already damaged kidney. Mum knew her body, suffered at home treating herself, developed 0 trust of ER.
Daughter - GP referal to same hospital out patient clinic, never the same dr
Dr 1 - dx dyslexia
Dr 2 - dx non verbal learning disorder
Dr 3 - dx ADD
Dr 4 - Bipolar
Dr 5 - Asperger Syndrome
Son - GP referal to same hospital similar story
Dr 1 - dx Asperger Syndrome, ave IQ, (Early Intervension, special school)
Dr 2 - dx Autistic Spectrum Disorder, high ave IQ, anxiety/rage disorder - (medicated)
changed clinic
Dr 3 - dx Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia, moderately gifted IQ, (therapy)
Dr 4 - dx anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, exceptionally/ profoundly gifted IQ
I have way too many he said she said's and they change the dx based on their specialty, everytime another specialist gets involved ooh we get another dx, its enough to turn you nutty. I dont wonder why i now ask the dr's so many questions? My DH has been joking for years about me having the 'I dont know but we'll call it stress disease', he thinks the problem is my lack of ignorance, thinks its not helpful knowing that stress doesnt cause xxx, if i was ignorant i'd feel better ROFL.
Anyway it was fun to read.
Cheers.......JJ
LOL!!! Yes sounds way too familiar!!! I wonder if migraines could cause that too or fibromyalgia lol!!! Oh yes & depression!!! Thanks for the much needed laugh!!
Good one Quix, but that's the way it is out there. I think I'll show this to my neurologist, just to watch him get mad, lol. He's my 3rd one, and i don't like him, I'm looking for another one.
Bob :)
Bob :)
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