Cane Anyone??

[tonyad]

    Well, today was the First day I used a cane in public.
Am I shallow for saying that I felt quite embarrased?  Although I NEVER look at nor think anything ill of anyone I see using a cane.....Never give it a second thought!  why do I feel this way?

     It most certainly helped me w/ my balance (as I tend to tip to the right) Now I just look like a drunk swinging my cane around. Lol   It also seemed to help with being able to hit a couple more isles than usual in the store.
Perhaps it is a few different feelings.......let me say right first off, that I am NOT Vain.....But I do need to add that that darn cane will not look "Cute" w/ a new pair of jeans and a REALLY cute top to match..let's not forget those ever so stylish shoes that complete the outfit. (ha,ha)

    OK guys, all kidding aside, Please tell me how you feel or have felt when using a cane. I truly felt so embarrased and like everyone was (ok well not everyone) was looking at me thinking..."Whats her deal". she looks fine....."(That cane does NOT match her outfit")..
    
    I did cry in the car even though I keep trying to make lite of it. I know this post probably reads as though I am being a smart butt or whatever, but I guess me trying to laugh at it instead of cry as I am typing this helps in some weird way. :) Maybe another part of Reality is Hitting me?

Thanks for helping w/ your wonderful answers and advice that you will share with me.
~Tonya

[GrannyJo6]

I just had a severe attack which left me looking like a drunk pirate as I had to wear an eye patch for awhile. My opthamologist had recommended a cane a couple of years ago to use at the mall or out walking on uneven ground because of my visual field deficits. So I got a fold up one, used it once at the mall and then folded it up and stashed it in the car in a compartment - out of sight, out of mind!
Needless to say, my neurologist told me to get some sort of walking aide, and I was glad I had one stashed!
I went to church for the first time since the attack and only one person commented on the cane. Her mom had died when she was young and she had been in a wheelchair with MS. It made her sad to see me with a cane. I was just so glad to see people that I didn't pay attention to if they were staring or not!

I am hoping it is temporary and is already better enough that I can get around pretty well in the house (well, except that that crazy wall in the hall tries to grab me sometimes) but I wouldn't go out without it!  If it turns out that my balance is permanently affected, I am ordering one or more "cute" ones! I know they have ones for visually impaired that look like a regular cane (not the long skinny ones) but are white with the red tip. This is supposed to alert people that you not only need a cane for mobility but for visual deficits as well.

It sounds like you and Diva-Grace have come to terms with each other and that is a good thing!

We stopped at the grocery store after church and I used the cart for stability but after I kept listing to the left and running into things, my hubby took the cane out of the cart, handed it me and took over - I was done! I did better with the cane, trust me! Then I went home and had a 3 hour nap!

Jo

[tonyad]

    My first Funny Cane story;
      So, Diva - Grace (Yes!  I named my cane) and I are out at the store (looking ever so fashionable...not!) Anyhow, a  bout of vetigo / balance hits and so i always tip to the right, I start tipping to the right side.....Diva in hand not knowing what to do as this is her first incident also (lol) So I lean in to her, left foot comes out to the side as if I am doing some kind of leg ecercise,  then Diva and I do a quarter spin trying to get some balance.
     Then out of know where, something comes over me (after getting my footing) to act like I was just TURNING to look at something on the bottom shelf.....it was quite funny ;)
So, that was the first mis-hap that Diva - Grace and I shared in public.

      Ess;  Thanks for the agreance (sp) on the water bottle trick. I figured that is what I am gonna do when time comes / if time comes......Lol


Have a great week everyone.
~Tonya  

[Rena705]

I have been using a cane for almost three years now and let me tell ya, I don't go out of the house without it!  I find it much easier to deal with this monstrosity in my hand and deal with the looks from people (I find the kids are the most inquisitive, otherwise I find that people just want to know why I use it) than dealng with the embarrasment of falling on my butt in public!

One day about a year and a  half ago my hubby and I were in Walmart and I had decided to give it a go without my cane.  Hubby was lurking closely to me but he just couldn't get to me in time.  He said he saw me (he said it was like slow motion) suddenly start to fall over like a tree coming down in the forest and when I landed all he could see were my feet sticking out under a rack of jackets and he didn't know if he should laugh or cry!  Needless to say people came running from all over asking if I was ok and thankfully I was but my pride was hurt to the core.  We made our way to the pharmacy and picked up a second cane to ensure my safety until we got home.  

I was foolish to try to go without my cane.  I now know that this can happen at any time so I even use my cane in our boat!  (it does come in handy though for pushing us away from the dock etc.)  I have found many other uses for my "third appendage" as well.  It really comes in handy when I can't reach something in the grocery store and its' good for keeping the old man around when some hot little blond bounces by...he can atest to that one!

So please keep up using your cane honey...you could get seriously injured when you least expect it and that would only set you back even more.  I have never run into any one being blatantly rude to me because I use one and it sure helps to get people to give up their seats when waiting for a bus, dr. appt or even while in line at a restaurant.  It is up to you to accept it and use it to your advantage girl...maybe we should have a page describing all our extra uses for our extra limbs!  hehe

Lots of hugs,
Rena

[meg321]

Oh, girl, i see the most beautiful women with canes...I especially saw one who looked so gorgeous with a cane at UCSF when I was there to see my Doc....I wondered at the time how she got her hair and make up on so well.

I love this post... I am all for looking good, we need to have fun, young and old.  I will never act old not as long as I can still move at all.  Well, sometimes when home and feeling bad I look like crap, but noone sees me.  

I had to use one once but it seemed to get in my way.   When I should have used one, I didnt.

They have such pretty and fun canes now, I wanted to buy one just because they were so nice.

love, meg

[michelleric]

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.  I dont have any great ideas  to add at this point, like all the fine folks here, just wanting you to know I am here too :)

Hugs,
Michelle

[essdipity]

Tonya, I LOVE your idea about carrying a water bottle and 'spilling' it if need be. Low-tech and cheap answer to a problem that just won't quit!

I'll bet you look great in all your nice outfits, cane or no cane. And I'm sure you have some shoes that are both fashionable and not dangerous. Remember, even runway models fall when they're wearing 5-inch stilletos. We've seen enough of that on TV.

Keep on gussying yourself up, and take pride in it. It's good for you.

Hugs,
ess

[supermum_ms]

And on that note (Pastor Dan), dh said if its a young-ish women with a cane, almost 1/2 the population will not notice the cane at all because their eyes will have difficulty going lower than a certain point. Took me a while to work out what he meant, some men lol!

Personally, i see the cane as a necessary tool, though there was a moment when i wondered if i'd ever be able to walk in anyway that resembled human, for a time my cane gave me a new independence, for me a trusted friend. It may sound loopy, but i was proud of my self the first time i actually went out on my own, just me and my cane, i had a 1/2 hour to my self, bliss!!

Keep thinking happy thoughts :-)

Cheers......JJ

[PastorDan]

Uf2 is probably right, Tonyad, about why you get looks in public.

[Ufrustrated2]

>>  OK guys, all kidding aside, Please tell me how you feel or have felt when using a cane.


i used to use one all the time years ago. it was a tree-limb custom job type. i really liked it. got many compliments on it. it helped me so i didn't really care what others thought.

there were those that did bring up the "there isn't anything wrong with you" sentiments. were do these creeps come from? though people messing with me isn't something that happens often, so i don't care what they think. especially since i now know without a doubt i have illnesses.

i will say i threw one away a few years ago. got mad at it, thought it was bad luck and threw it away. a false ego thing too.

i regret that now as i need one now mainly for on/off semi-weak balance and left hip/back issues. and standing in line in some instances i have to grab onto something.

>>I truly felt so embarrased and like everyone was (ok well not everyone) was looking at me thinking..."Whats her deal". she looks fine....."(That cane does NOT match her outfit")..

honestly, if people are looking at you there is probably a good reason like, "she is really a nice looking woman"... unless of course you are on a MS-Irritable-episode and you're swinging your cane at inconsiderate folks.

you'll do fine with it and look good with it too.

i'm getting another one made as soon as i wrap up the design i'm wanting.

[tonyad]

  No my Friend, that was only a very sweet dream :)...(sigh)
I long to wear my shoes again and refuse to get rid of them!
Yes, it is true.....I wear the old lady shoes w/ my cute little outfits which turns them in to
Not -so -cute - little outfits....but rather, a dork trying to look "in style" but just don't know how to pull it off.....Lol

I will embrace my "Diva Grace" tomorrow as we make our way to the grocery store. if she behaves (keeping me from falling when balance issues happen) I just may treat her with a NEW handle somehow as the Black handle is not becoming!

~Tonya
  

[supermum_ms]

OMG Tonya i cant believe your still wearing your shoes, i mean real lady shoes that dont look like you've bought them from the over 80's department, i fall off my functional flats, well lets be honest here, i dont need any shoes at all to walk like a drunkard lol i'm so green!!!

Love Love Love the name Diva Grace for your cane, glad to see your smiling again!!!!!

Cheers.......JJ

[tonyad]

   How in the heck could I spell my fav perfume wrong?
So, please allow me to correct that...It is "Dolce and Gabbana"
Actually looking back please excuse ALL my spelling tonight.
Thanks,
~T

Quix:  Sorry that happened to you in public :(
So here is what I think is a good idea for this urinary problem so many have.....
Always carry a bottle of water with you, and then if you either leak or flood hurry to find a chair, set the bottle of water between your legs then spill some of it and say "Awe man,...Dangit....I can't believe I just did that.....Wha-lah problem solved.
Everyone thinks you spilled your water in your lap........

   Or else you could have ran back to the corner, hurry and knitted yourself a sweater or scarf (since you were ina a yarn store) and wrapped it around you...HUH? Now who's thinking?
(I'm just being silly)
take Care,
~Tonya

[tonyad]

   Oh My Gosh!!!!   You guys are the BEST!!!!!!  Your words and your own personal stories have made me laugh my a** off as well as (of course) swell up and have some leaking from the eyes :)

    I am so Thankful for you sharing your very personal thoughts and feelings w/ me. There is much to say about this Forum.....I Love You All.  

     OK, so reading back perhaps I should recant (sp) what I said about being vain! Perhaps I am vain.  I always like to look good (as we all do)...but you know,  what really eerks me??  Is when I see others walking around (both young and Older), using those legs of theirs like crazy.  oh how I  LOOONNNNGGG for those legs!

     So how does this look.....REALLY cute new outfit w/ the most Awesome shoes ( I love shoes) and the cutest little top I just got from the mall...complete w/ all the accessories (sp), having a good hair day, make up on, smelling good (Dolce & Cabanna)
Annnnndddddd  the Cane!   And of course even w/ the cane I am still stumbling around because I THINK that I can still wear any of the 80 something pair of shoes I have w/ no reprecussion (I know I speeled that wrong) from them not being a flat ugly shoe.

     Truth be told NOW....Thanks to each one of you, I am going to " Embrace" my CANE...I am even giving her a name...She has butterflies all over her with a blck handle (ugly handle)...and her name shall be......
Diva - Grace.......
Diva for fashion (of course) and Grace = to confer dignity
And on my bad days......I shall call her....well I can not post that here as it would not be very lady- like of me (bwhaaaa  haaahaaa)   So, Pator Dan you have "Kasey" and I have "Diva Grace" (doesn't flow to well though).  CHeers to them both and all the other un - named canes that help you up when your down and keep you going when you can't manage it alone.....

    REN:       everytime I look up at your post I lugh so hard because I can just imagine you "traveling through the JFK airport in a red transport chair as the attendant knocked over people right and left and there I sat holding my cane looking ashamed".  I am rolling laughing so hard......

Have a wonderful rest of the weekend all of you.
~Tonya

[Growing2Boys]

Hi Tonya,
I don't use a cane (yet), but I can absolutely understand you. Like the others have suggested I don't think what you are feeling is all about vanity. It's also about loss.
My sadness also comes from potentially embarrassing my young children. I wonder if they will ever get picked on in school because of my disability. Kids are so mean these days.

I had to peak at your profile pic's becuase you are just beautiful! I am very sure cane or not other women (&men) will see you as beautiful too.
I think the suggestions of getting a snazy cane are a great idea. Something that shows your personality.

Sarah

[Quixotic1]

For a while I used a cane, but found it more bothersome than help.  I am, however, resisting the needed rollater/walker.  My balance and ability to catch myself is going downhill.  I just don't want to the at the walker stage yet.  But, now, if I use my cane for balance, when I lose it and start lurching, I tend to swing the cane up like I'm jousting with it.  Just picture Don Quixote jousting with a windmill.  All I need is the bedpan on my head to complete the effect.

My dad is having really severe knee pain form arthritis the last couple days.  My mom and I have been trying to get him to use her walker and he is soooo resistant.  He doesn't want to be THAT old person - and he is 85.

I commeriserate with your drop is self image and the grief it causes.

My newest landmark was a bad episode of urinary incontinence in public and I was wearing protection, just not enough for the great flood.  Granted I was at the yarn store and among friends, but it was horrible.  I will never again be out in public with a complete change of clothes - What a bother!

I see the Uro-Gyne this week.  I want meds!

q

[sllowe]

Hey there,

I've no experience, but when I read your post, I tried to put myself in your shoes and thought,  it would probably make me feel like I was finally letting the cat out of the bag now! Or, something like that. Not out of embarrassment, but in relation or similar to puttingon a good face when you feel bad or something.

I'm glad you did it. It's better than getting hurt, and hope it gets easier :)
((hugs))
-shell

[PastorDan]

The whole "Bat Masterson" image did come to mind when I began using the stick, but I don't think I'm quite in that league!
http://www.myviewsandreviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/bat-masterson.jpg

[Mand125]

Hi Tonya
I had to start using a cane after my last relapse in September. Truth be told I should probably have been using one for a couple of years before that. My balance got so bad that it was the only way I could get around.

I will happily admit that vanity pays a part, I now think I look my age (using the cane) and I didn't before.

However, I can get around so much better now, better than I could before the relapse without a cane.

I have invested in a couple of funky looking canes and choose depending on my mood that day.

I never feel that people are staring at me though, they probably did before I used it because my walking was so bad.

Mand

[grannyhotwheels]

I have never been able to use my cane much except for occasionally around the house. I pretty much went straight to the walker.  My walker is a crimson color and on the rubber piece across the top I have a {BOOMER SOONER} football bumper sticker. I call it my Sooner Schooner.  AS you may have noticed I'm a huge Oklahoma football fan.

Whatever it is that you love you can decorate your cane that way. If I did use my cane in public I would probably have Sooner decals all over it. That's just me though.

When I first started using my walker I felt just like you did. I just knew everyone was staring at me. I was a young 40 year old woman having to use a walker and now to top that off I also have to wear braces on both legs.  Guess what?  They also have Sooner stickers on them.

Try not to let it get you down. I know it's hard but it's also the hand we have been dealt. I try my hardest to give it all to my LORD and let him handle it for me.  It really does work most of the time. The only time it doesn't is when I try to handle it on my own.

May the LORD bless you and take your pain away.

I'll be praying,
Carol

[Phyllis2010]

I haven't been diagnosed, may never be, but I'm using a cane right now and I  like to think of it as a wonderful fashion accessory. It's an "antique" cane (used by my Mother who had Parkinson's disease) with a carved dog's head and lovely wood. I actually get compliments on it and try to think of it, positively, as a jaunty walking stick, especially since it really helps me. Good luck with yours.

[amers789]

Oh Tonya, My sweet friend, I can imagine the feeling of being stared at and all I can think of if that was me I would "smile" them away. It is going to be an adjustment, so give yourself a break, cry, scream, laugh, and whine to us. I am hoping it will become only necessary on your bad days but if you need it all the time then eventually you won't' even  notice others, for now just hang in there, grieve your loss then let it go like Pastor Dan said to the one who loves you no matter how you look and he will scoop you in his arms and let you hang there till you feel like you can go on again.
I will pray for you and hope you will accept it as a asset to allow you to do what you want to do. Then when you are ready  push on, where else can you go but forward right..
God Bless Amers:))))HUGS

[MsWobbles]

Hey, Tonyad,

Your tears are understandable:  You see disease progression and its effect on your life.
A period of mourning your old life is to be expected.

I'm also a cane user - started using one in my later 50's after falling without warning or reason, hitting my face on pavement, breaking my glasses, and requiring stitches to my face.  Can honestly say I prefer a cane to the above experience.

You're in a whole different ballgame than I am though: Young, attractive.  I can see that it would be much harder for you than for me to start using a cane - especially one of the utility variety that is just standard metal and doesn't add any personality or style to your presentation.  Thus, I suggest you get a very classy-looking cane - something different from what us "older folke" are using.  

You can find some really awesome canes that will have others envious of you - some with ivory handles, fine wood, carved handles. Look in upscale luggage shops and department stores, maybe online even.  And you can also find some humorous and zany ones - I've seen some at our zoo store - classic, colorful, very unusual with animal heads for handles.  Get one for your different moods and attire.  Once you find a cane can actually add to your style, I think you'll be happier with using one.  It'll set you apart in a distinguished, positive way.

I hope you never have a fall like I experienced.  I had fallen many, many times prior, but that was the worst fall of my life.  And sometimes just one fall can permanently end our mobility - I mean as in forever!  Keep in mind a cane can help prevent that situation - can help keep us mobile.  

Best of luck with your new mobility tool!

Weakandfalling

[Queenfan]

I use my cane when I know I'm going to have a long day.  My balance gets worse as the day goes on, and then my knees start betraying me as well before it's over.  It's too the point now that I'm now looking for forearm canes.  Holding onto the one I have now is making the carpal tunnel crap stir up and makes my hands hurt like crazy - so it's onto different types.

It's terrible when the mind is young and the body gets "old" before it's time.  Heck, I'm only 45 and I still take on my older teens in Nintendo Mario Karts (video game) and whoop their butts every time!  (and they call me old!  LOL)

[PastorDan]

The guys at the county began referring to my cane as "Kasey."  You'd have to be a NASCAR fan to get it, so here's where that comes from: one of the young stars on the Cup circuit in recent years is named Kasey Kahne, pronounced like "cane".  For some reason I still root for Jimmie Johnson.