Aa
Dealing with the outside world?
I am feeling rather down today people...I feel as though I am not part of this world because I have been alone for so long, day after day, only the tv, radio, internet to keep me a part of this world and yet not...really.
I went to a "friends" house last night to play cards and my hubby decided he was too tired to go so he drove me over and I went in myself. Immediately, I felt bare and out of place...sort of like a piece of a puzzle that doesn't fit.
My friends all work and have children and a life...I don't. All I have is my illness and because of it I can't get out and have a life...unless of course I am with my hubby so really I am living my life through him.
Does anyone else out there have these feelings? I always had good jobs before whatever this is knocked my feet out from under me..I was in the health care field so I had to be on the ball...at this point I don't think I will ever be able to do it again.
I have nothing to talk about with other people other than my health problems because that is all I have! Isn't that sick? I think my "friends" think I am belly aching and whining when I talk about anything related to my health because I get cut off immediately and the subject is changed very quickly. It seems rather rude to me...but I have nothing else to talk about other than subject's from the past and when I bring up things from the past which have been talked about before, they look at me as though I am mentally ill as well. I have memory problems and maybe I am not getting the story right but I thought that real friends would deal with it and move on...
I think that after last night, I won't be bothering to go see those friends ...I don't feel as though they would miss my company anyway and I wonder why I was invited over...maybe just to appease their conciousness...don't bother. The couple that lived at the house were also planning to go to a nearby town to a wonderful fish and chip shop for lunch today and they invited all the other guests to go but they just invited them over my head and I was ignored like I was deaf and blind and incapable of knowing what was going on. At that point I went downstairs, called a cab and left out the walk out basement door and came home...haven't heard anything from anyone...guess I know where I stand right?
I feel like I made a mistake by choosing the wrong friends in the first place, I thought they were friends but damn it hurts when you realize that you are on your own now....
I went to a "friends" house last night to play cards and my hubby decided he was too tired to go so he drove me over and I went in myself. Immediately, I felt bare and out of place...sort of like a piece of a puzzle that doesn't fit.
My friends all work and have children and a life...I don't. All I have is my illness and because of it I can't get out and have a life...unless of course I am with my hubby so really I am living my life through him.
Does anyone else out there have these feelings? I always had good jobs before whatever this is knocked my feet out from under me..I was in the health care field so I had to be on the ball...at this point I don't think I will ever be able to do it again.
I have nothing to talk about with other people other than my health problems because that is all I have! Isn't that sick? I think my "friends" think I am belly aching and whining when I talk about anything related to my health because I get cut off immediately and the subject is changed very quickly. It seems rather rude to me...but I have nothing else to talk about other than subject's from the past and when I bring up things from the past which have been talked about before, they look at me as though I am mentally ill as well. I have memory problems and maybe I am not getting the story right but I thought that real friends would deal with it and move on...
I think that after last night, I won't be bothering to go see those friends ...I don't feel as though they would miss my company anyway and I wonder why I was invited over...maybe just to appease their conciousness...don't bother. The couple that lived at the house were also planning to go to a nearby town to a wonderful fish and chip shop for lunch today and they invited all the other guests to go but they just invited them over my head and I was ignored like I was deaf and blind and incapable of knowing what was going on. At that point I went downstairs, called a cab and left out the walk out basement door and came home...haven't heard anything from anyone...guess I know where I stand right?
I feel like I made a mistake by choosing the wrong friends in the first place, I thought they were friends but damn it hurts when you realize that you are on your own now....
Ten years ago, I couldn't walk because I suffered a severe MS attack that left me half paralyzed. I spent six months in recovery and therapy just to regain the ability to do everyday things like write with a pen or use a spoon to eat, I spent another year working hard to regain my mobility by practicing yoga and acupuncture.
While I was recovering, I vowed to change my life. I adopted a healthy lifestyle and diet along with a strong will to overcome this disease. I decided that when I regained my ability to walk again, I was going to spend every day living my life to the fullest.
There are inspiring stories you can view at http://www.iwalkbecause.org. I get particularly inspired by Lea's stories. If you or anyone you know have great stories to share that can inspire us, I understand they're collecting more for next year.
mxspdracer
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's own courage." Anais Nin
While I was recovering, I vowed to change my life. I adopted a healthy lifestyle and diet along with a strong will to overcome this disease. I decided that when I regained my ability to walk again, I was going to spend every day living my life to the fullest.
There are inspiring stories you can view at http://www.iwalkbecause.org. I get particularly inspired by Lea's stories. If you or anyone you know have great stories to share that can inspire us, I understand they're collecting more for next year.
mxspdracer
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's own courage." Anais Nin
There are some great people on this forum who have for years dealt with MS. I myself have not gotten a dx yet. Plus I am very new, so excuse me if I am out of place. But guess what I can't drive myself many times, and the isolation is terrible. Then when you are unable to work it is even worse, you are out of the mix so to speak. I guess that is when you find true friends. I have one,--this forum, and I take what helps and leave the stupid things here. It is NOT depression that causes us to feel badly, otherwise we would not try to see "friends" we would be in bed or staying home. Sorry to be so blunt but it hurts me to see when someone is honestly opening up their soul and hurtful, although well meaning advise is given. Sometimes it is best just to say, I am here, I'm listening. If you have never lived with this isolation you could never understand it. To those who do live with it and are looking at who are their true friends, I can only say my experience is that I went through a lot of grieving, but found a few wonderful friends. And some awesome rabbits, seriously rabbits that listen to me whenever I need them. And I help them too. Some stupid comment once made to me was to get rid of my rabbits, move to the city and take a bus and volunteer. I can't climb stairs, who is going to get me on the bus? I can't work, how will I volunteer? Plus I fall often. Guess what, I don't have much to do with that person anymore, and it's my own sister. If they don't "get" it or me why invest my little energy?
Didn't mean to go on so long-----------Hugs to all who experience this, and somehow we are out here together, not alone, even though that is hard to feel sometimes.
Didn't mean to go on so long-----------Hugs to all who experience this, and somehow we are out here together, not alone, even though that is hard to feel sometimes.
No ma'amNo ma’am I know no one of this matter. I don’t think but one or two if that many people understand that all I was doing has nothing to do with her illness. When I first posted I clearly thought she could possibly drive. I thought she was just depressed. Only a few let me know/understand that this is more then just BEING ABLE to walk! I spoke nothing of her illness till I seen her response and only two people helped me understand that this is a bit more serious then that.
To all: How can any of you want anyone “the real world” to understand if all you’re ready to do is justify? I’m not sorry for trying to help her feel “EMOTIONALLY” better! But I am sorry that the ones who took me as a threat can’t see all I wanted to do was help her “EMOTIONALLY” and not “PHYSICALLY” I’ve heard an inadequate amount of this illness and honestly the ones who makes me seem like I’m a bad person makes me feel like I care not to know! Because in “reality” people aren’t this rude! This is the first website that I’ve ever been on and I tried to be completely nice and so many people want to argue! What are “you” teaching “us”? That we can’t have a civilized conversation where sorrow is given and understood as just that! There is no difference between you and me. We are all human, just like you have feelings, well guess what so do I! If this is what “you” call MS then I’d just rather stay in the “real world” and be inadequate to MS. Because in the “real world” people loves and understands when help is trying to give.
And honestly ma’am I didn’t choose to hang out on MS forum. I just saw a simple cry out for help. Mrs. Rena was discouraged by her “friends” and she didn’t know what to do, so I thought I could brighten up her day “thinking she was just depressed (under the weather)” and telling her to love herself and not to need anyone else “not knowing she had an illness, MS”. And from there I got bs from a few people that I felt I had to explain myself to. When in fact if Mrs. Rena felt this way she could’ve told me and I would have told her myself; instead of having to go through so many people fight on her behalf! I just wish that “SOMEONE” could read and understand what I’m saying! But how could anyone when all they rather do is argue?
To everyone: I just want to thank those of you who wrote me telling me the facts of MS and helping me understand this illness. And I just want to thank those of you who wrote me wanting to argue in Mrs. Rena defense, I will respond to you who speaks of me! Other than that I’d rather stay off of this forum, so with that said if you don’t want me on here good then please don’t speak of me. I can see why things happens but I don’t understand why “ya’ll” choose to let it happen! I’m better off helping someone who cares to listen not fight!
I’m working on a baby and stress is not in my design. Thank you all, take care!
To all: How can any of you want anyone “the real world” to understand if all you’re ready to do is justify? I’m not sorry for trying to help her feel “EMOTIONALLY” better! But I am sorry that the ones who took me as a threat can’t see all I wanted to do was help her “EMOTIONALLY” and not “PHYSICALLY” I’ve heard an inadequate amount of this illness and honestly the ones who makes me seem like I’m a bad person makes me feel like I care not to know! Because in “reality” people aren’t this rude! This is the first website that I’ve ever been on and I tried to be completely nice and so many people want to argue! What are “you” teaching “us”? That we can’t have a civilized conversation where sorrow is given and understood as just that! There is no difference between you and me. We are all human, just like you have feelings, well guess what so do I! If this is what “you” call MS then I’d just rather stay in the “real world” and be inadequate to MS. Because in the “real world” people loves and understands when help is trying to give.
And honestly ma’am I didn’t choose to hang out on MS forum. I just saw a simple cry out for help. Mrs. Rena was discouraged by her “friends” and she didn’t know what to do, so I thought I could brighten up her day “thinking she was just depressed (under the weather)” and telling her to love herself and not to need anyone else “not knowing she had an illness, MS”. And from there I got bs from a few people that I felt I had to explain myself to. When in fact if Mrs. Rena felt this way she could’ve told me and I would have told her myself; instead of having to go through so many people fight on her behalf! I just wish that “SOMEONE” could read and understand what I’m saying! But how could anyone when all they rather do is argue?
To everyone: I just want to thank those of you who wrote me telling me the facts of MS and helping me understand this illness. And I just want to thank those of you who wrote me wanting to argue in Mrs. Rena defense, I will respond to you who speaks of me! Other than that I’d rather stay off of this forum, so with that said if you don’t want me on here good then please don’t speak of me. I can see why things happens but I don’t understand why “ya’ll” choose to let it happen! I’m better off helping someone who cares to listen not fight!
I’m working on a baby and stress is not in my design. Thank you all, take care!
Would you back me up here and consider this a closed thread? Please join me in not posting any further posts to this thread. Thank you group.
Dear Mrs. Jo,
Yes ma’am I able to able to work or go to school, but somehow between now and then I have become lazy (out of NO illness) and took life for granted and I just rather stay home instead. I was in the shower last night and I was thinking to myself; I stopped working with out my boyfriends consent. I got use to him taking care of me and my kids that I guess in my mind I felt like I didn’t/don’t have to work. How selfish of me! I know right. I felt bad so when I got out the shower I told him I was so sorry; he asked me why and I told him. He asked me did I like staying home because he loves taking care of us. I told him yes but its not fair for him to do this for us. I love doing things I was/ am a tomboy but I’ve been so caught up in trying to get pregnant that I’m too scared to work the job I work. For two months I hoped to be pregnant so I won’t work there if I am; too much smoke. I would find another job but it doesn’t pay as much. You have to realize after the storm (Katrina) rent is like $900 when it use to be like $350 just for a one bedroom, and minimum wage is like 7.75- 8 I believe! I work in a bar even though he makes enough in my eyes to feed the whole world I don’t want to work for that little money. I rather stay home and work on having his first child; my 3rd and take care of my kids!
And yes ma’am I believe in God and by faith is your design. But I do not attend church. I’m a little baffled by their design. I don’t see eye to eye just yet and I’m bewildered by their beliefs. See I just so happen to love women, but I fell in love with a guy. I don’t believe that gays are cursed for the simple fact that word (homosexual) is a word found in the 18th centuries. In Jesus’ days it was ok to be that way. Kings, men, women, etc; even kids had intercourse with the same sex. In the 1700’s this was away to settle their beliefs. And people misconstrue the "Word" when he (not sure if it was Moses or not) seen the city that the city was damned because they were having intercourse with everyone. That was a normal thing. They were damned because of selfishness. They were rich and had food and partied and got drunk and fornication. Instead of them sharing their wealth to the poor and drinking to get drunk and massive sexual acts was the reason why they were damned. In those days you wont find a word that translates gay, homosexual, or even bisexual because the word never meant anything in those days! In those days they even believed the world to be flat. Funny how their beliefs was not all that correct. So I mired church till they or I come to a piece of mind. I still pray and my kids pray, but I don’t want to go just yet.
Ps I won’t aimscared lol I just don’t feel the need to argue. For the first time in my life am I completely happy. I got a man who our arguments are, what would you like for dinner? I grew up in a harsh place in N.O where I was taught no to be so nice. I really don’t understand how I am after living the way I did, but maybe it was in my design to go through what I did so I can be who I am. But I am just happy with my life and the way things are going that I want other people to see going though things is in our design for different reasons and that you shouldn’t let anyone take your joy from you. I’ll never go back to the old hateful me; who cared not for anyone’s feelings. It took me to hurt and have two kids to realize life is more than pain. That I don’t have to live everyday in pain if I chose not to.
Yes ma’am I able to able to work or go to school, but somehow between now and then I have become lazy (out of NO illness) and took life for granted and I just rather stay home instead. I was in the shower last night and I was thinking to myself; I stopped working with out my boyfriends consent. I got use to him taking care of me and my kids that I guess in my mind I felt like I didn’t/don’t have to work. How selfish of me! I know right. I felt bad so when I got out the shower I told him I was so sorry; he asked me why and I told him. He asked me did I like staying home because he loves taking care of us. I told him yes but its not fair for him to do this for us. I love doing things I was/ am a tomboy but I’ve been so caught up in trying to get pregnant that I’m too scared to work the job I work. For two months I hoped to be pregnant so I won’t work there if I am; too much smoke. I would find another job but it doesn’t pay as much. You have to realize after the storm (Katrina) rent is like $900 when it use to be like $350 just for a one bedroom, and minimum wage is like 7.75- 8 I believe! I work in a bar even though he makes enough in my eyes to feed the whole world I don’t want to work for that little money. I rather stay home and work on having his first child; my 3rd and take care of my kids!
And yes ma’am I believe in God and by faith is your design. But I do not attend church. I’m a little baffled by their design. I don’t see eye to eye just yet and I’m bewildered by their beliefs. See I just so happen to love women, but I fell in love with a guy. I don’t believe that gays are cursed for the simple fact that word (homosexual) is a word found in the 18th centuries. In Jesus’ days it was ok to be that way. Kings, men, women, etc; even kids had intercourse with the same sex. In the 1700’s this was away to settle their beliefs. And people misconstrue the "Word" when he (not sure if it was Moses or not) seen the city that the city was damned because they were having intercourse with everyone. That was a normal thing. They were damned because of selfishness. They were rich and had food and partied and got drunk and fornication. Instead of them sharing their wealth to the poor and drinking to get drunk and massive sexual acts was the reason why they were damned. In those days you wont find a word that translates gay, homosexual, or even bisexual because the word never meant anything in those days! In those days they even believed the world to be flat. Funny how their beliefs was not all that correct. So I mired church till they or I come to a piece of mind. I still pray and my kids pray, but I don’t want to go just yet.
Ps I won’t aimscared lol I just don’t feel the need to argue. For the first time in my life am I completely happy. I got a man who our arguments are, what would you like for dinner? I grew up in a harsh place in N.O where I was taught no to be so nice. I really don’t understand how I am after living the way I did, but maybe it was in my design to go through what I did so I can be who I am. But I am just happy with my life and the way things are going that I want other people to see going though things is in our design for different reasons and that you shouldn’t let anyone take your joy from you. I’ll never go back to the old hateful me; who cared not for anyone’s feelings. It took me to hurt and have two kids to realize life is more than pain. That I don’t have to live everyday in pain if I chose not to.
Hey Hon...have you ever given your sister any indication as to how that "comment" makes you feel or is she the type that would get a "kick" out of making you miserable?
I would have some choice words for any family member that had the ba**s to speak to me like that and I don't think I would be seeing much of that person!
It is so easy to get angry and lower one's self to "their" standards though! That then makes me even more angry! I think I need to take a break from the forum for a few hours and think about this honey! I will get back to you on it...but what an advertising bud that would be don't you think...I know two people with disabilities that are being treated like **** by their sisters so whatever you do DON'T BECOME DISABLED IF YOU HAVE A SISTER CAUSE THEY CAN BE VERY MEAN!!! ha ha ha I know there are a lot of loving helpful sisters out there as well but it only takes a few bad ones to spoil the whole bunch!
Lots of Hugs,
Rena
I would have some choice words for any family member that had the ba**s to speak to me like that and I don't think I would be seeing much of that person!
It is so easy to get angry and lower one's self to "their" standards though! That then makes me even more angry! I think I need to take a break from the forum for a few hours and think about this honey! I will get back to you on it...but what an advertising bud that would be don't you think...I know two people with disabilities that are being treated like **** by their sisters so whatever you do DON'T BECOME DISABLED IF YOU HAVE A SISTER CAUSE THEY CAN BE VERY MEAN!!! ha ha ha I know there are a lot of loving helpful sisters out there as well but it only takes a few bad ones to spoil the whole bunch!
Lots of Hugs,
Rena
Dearest Rena, I am sorry to read you had to deal with an evening like this, and one you were so looking forward to. :(
I find I am still surprised each time I hear how people react in these situations to 'us'. It is never what I would have thought. Maybe I always thought too highly of the overall human race, unfortunately. I dont' know.
I too was amazed to see which friends (and family!) turned out to be the supportive ones. I was way off base on some of my guesses. My own sister has a comment she likes to use that stabs right to the heart everytime. I can't even type it, it is that unbelieveable. :(
Each time she says it, it rips out a little more of my heart and I want to run away crying like a heart broke teenager.
I wish I had an answer or idea for this situation. The best ways I have found to deal with it, are some of the ideas suggested - new activities that you can participate, even if it is sitting in a chair in the midst of things. Working on things at home, anything that you can possibly work on, such your fly tying, sounds like a great idea. Maybe you could work on expanding this idea just a little inch at a time.
Unfortunately I feel I have to limit how much I talk about medical/ my health issues with family and friends. It hurts to do this. I always think- if they really, truly cared, they would always listen. Then I think, how realistic is this thinking. Its a vicious circle. :(
I think you are wonderful, and would also love to have you nearby so we could hang out!
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T VIC - I think Heather's post was perfect in response. I can't tell you how many times this very type of thing you are saying had the completely opposite effect on me when I heard it & sorry, actually ticked me off. It almost feels like 'belittling' or mininmalizing what the person has to deal with everyday. I truly hope you can understand that.
Why have you chosen to hang out at an MS forum, just curious? Do you have a friend or family member with it?
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I wise lady with RA, I know once said - (this is in response to a bunch of people telling another ill person we know how 'positive' she always is and how great it is) - -
"Being positive is very important, but being human and having sadness and depression and a pityparty goes with being human--so it is ok to have both once in awhile".
And this woman has always seemed so uplifting to me. I found real comfort in knowing that she has difficult times too.
All the best to you
Jazzy (Sher)
I find I am still surprised each time I hear how people react in these situations to 'us'. It is never what I would have thought. Maybe I always thought too highly of the overall human race, unfortunately. I dont' know.
I too was amazed to see which friends (and family!) turned out to be the supportive ones. I was way off base on some of my guesses. My own sister has a comment she likes to use that stabs right to the heart everytime. I can't even type it, it is that unbelieveable. :(
Each time she says it, it rips out a little more of my heart and I want to run away crying like a heart broke teenager.
I wish I had an answer or idea for this situation. The best ways I have found to deal with it, are some of the ideas suggested - new activities that you can participate, even if it is sitting in a chair in the midst of things. Working on things at home, anything that you can possibly work on, such your fly tying, sounds like a great idea. Maybe you could work on expanding this idea just a little inch at a time.
Unfortunately I feel I have to limit how much I talk about medical/ my health issues with family and friends. It hurts to do this. I always think- if they really, truly cared, they would always listen. Then I think, how realistic is this thinking. Its a vicious circle. :(
I think you are wonderful, and would also love to have you nearby so we could hang out!
-----------------------------------------
T VIC - I think Heather's post was perfect in response. I can't tell you how many times this very type of thing you are saying had the completely opposite effect on me when I heard it & sorry, actually ticked me off. It almost feels like 'belittling' or mininmalizing what the person has to deal with everyday. I truly hope you can understand that.
Why have you chosen to hang out at an MS forum, just curious? Do you have a friend or family member with it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I wise lady with RA, I know once said - (this is in response to a bunch of people telling another ill person we know how 'positive' she always is and how great it is) - -
"Being positive is very important, but being human and having sadness and depression and a pityparty goes with being human--so it is ok to have both once in awhile".
And this woman has always seemed so uplifting to me. I found real comfort in knowing that she has difficult times too.
All the best to you
Jazzy (Sher)
Mrs/Ms/Miss Heather,
Forgive me for lashing out, it's just I don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression of me and I just really wanted to make her smile and know that life does go on with/o friends family or anyone. I just think as far as feeling “emotional” if you depend on anyone to keep them up that you would be let down. If she can find happiness in her; as far as emotions goes then she/anyone won’t hurt when others lets them down. Just because I do not have this illness doesn’t mean I’m dumb to understand; yes I am ignorant to the fact to this illness, and no I don’t know about it, but I’m nowhere at all at shame to identify this matter. Yes I am young, but not only people with MS have to rely on others. I suffer with my family everyday, so much that I don’t deal with any of them but my kids and only one of my sister's. Life is hard and just because I’m young don’t mean I haven went or seen anything, if you (anyone) believes that, then you (in general) are just as foolish as you make me to be. I’m from the south (New Orleans) where everyday is lovely. But not so long ago was a day made happy. My mom and dad ran out on us; one child 2, I was 1, and a 3month old baby for 10 years then when they came back and they decided to beat us for I guess pleasure mentally, physically. My grandmother raised us the best way she could after raising her 5 kids and us for 13 year then we was put in foster care. She has no job and she relied on help from family, the state, Salvation Army, anyone, anything. Poor! my sisters and i stole snacks out of stores to eat. Do you think my family wanted to help us considering that we’re mixed (black and white), and it was only our white side that stepped it to do what little they did to help. Sending us to black schools; being picked on bullied because of our color! But you know that’s not the half of it! I love and realize life. Just because I’m young don’t mean I haven’t gone through anything. I’ve seen hurt I’ve been pain and that’s why I can speak and try to understand and want to help anyone that I can, because I know how it feels not to be helped or being helped out of petty! I know how it is to want to do but can’t do for you! I don’t have to be ill of MS to know how this feels; depression took care of that. But i just had to realize I'm better if I believe. I'm not pretending I know or understand, just a simple thought thats all!
And thanks for trying to understand. I didn’t think by trying to help someone that I’d have to go through this. Honestly. I’m trying to stay happy, I’m trying to have a baby by a (old) lol man who is 38 with sperm motility due to injuries, and that’s why I joined this site. I seen Mrs. Rena blog and I posted that’s all.
Forgive me for lashing out, it's just I don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression of me and I just really wanted to make her smile and know that life does go on with/o friends family or anyone. I just think as far as feeling “emotional” if you depend on anyone to keep them up that you would be let down. If she can find happiness in her; as far as emotions goes then she/anyone won’t hurt when others lets them down. Just because I do not have this illness doesn’t mean I’m dumb to understand; yes I am ignorant to the fact to this illness, and no I don’t know about it, but I’m nowhere at all at shame to identify this matter. Yes I am young, but not only people with MS have to rely on others. I suffer with my family everyday, so much that I don’t deal with any of them but my kids and only one of my sister's. Life is hard and just because I’m young don’t mean I haven went or seen anything, if you (anyone) believes that, then you (in general) are just as foolish as you make me to be. I’m from the south (New Orleans) where everyday is lovely. But not so long ago was a day made happy. My mom and dad ran out on us; one child 2, I was 1, and a 3month old baby for 10 years then when they came back and they decided to beat us for I guess pleasure mentally, physically. My grandmother raised us the best way she could after raising her 5 kids and us for 13 year then we was put in foster care. She has no job and she relied on help from family, the state, Salvation Army, anyone, anything. Poor! my sisters and i stole snacks out of stores to eat. Do you think my family wanted to help us considering that we’re mixed (black and white), and it was only our white side that stepped it to do what little they did to help. Sending us to black schools; being picked on bullied because of our color! But you know that’s not the half of it! I love and realize life. Just because I’m young don’t mean I haven’t gone through anything. I’ve seen hurt I’ve been pain and that’s why I can speak and try to understand and want to help anyone that I can, because I know how it feels not to be helped or being helped out of petty! I know how it is to want to do but can’t do for you! I don’t have to be ill of MS to know how this feels; depression took care of that. But i just had to realize I'm better if I believe. I'm not pretending I know or understand, just a simple thought thats all!
And thanks for trying to understand. I didn’t think by trying to help someone that I’d have to go through this. Honestly. I’m trying to stay happy, I’m trying to have a baby by a (old) lol man who is 38 with sperm motility due to injuries, and that’s why I joined this site. I seen Mrs. Rena blog and I posted that’s all.
Tori,
You are young but have a good heart and tons of love . I've wanted to write to you before but have never gotten to it . I'm sorry for that . What a mess this is !!!! These people here have big hearts too. Everyone was trying to look out for Rena. No one here would intentionally hurt anyone .
You seam like a sweetheart. Please don't be upset by the communication from this forum. We are all trying to do the best we can under some very difficult circumstances.
I feel/have felt badly for you , in your four walls. Are you able to work or go back to school? Taking walks and waiting for BF just isn't enough for a bright energetic person such as yourself .
You also sound spiritual ... do you have a church or affiliation in your city..
You are a very compassionate individual , with a lot to offer the world , get out there !!!
I will write more but wanted you to see this before you amscrayed( sp)
Sincerely (( HUGS )) Jo
You are young but have a good heart and tons of love . I've wanted to write to you before but have never gotten to it . I'm sorry for that . What a mess this is !!!! These people here have big hearts too. Everyone was trying to look out for Rena. No one here would intentionally hurt anyone .
You seam like a sweetheart. Please don't be upset by the communication from this forum. We are all trying to do the best we can under some very difficult circumstances.
I feel/have felt badly for you , in your four walls. Are you able to work or go back to school? Taking walks and waiting for BF just isn't enough for a bright energetic person such as yourself .
You also sound spiritual ... do you have a church or affiliation in your city..
You are a very compassionate individual , with a lot to offer the world , get out there !!!
I will write more but wanted you to see this before you amscrayed( sp)
Sincerely (( HUGS )) Jo
I am absolutely SURE that you meant NO HARM to Rena in your posts. I am SURE of it.
Please understand that I believe what was misinterpreted, was the manner in which you talked about "mind over matter." It sounded like all of us with MS could just tell our bodies to forget what our bodies are telling us and this would make our phsyical problems go away.
I totally agree with you that a positive attitude is of utmost importance in fighting any problem in your life. I hope that you will understand also, that when a person has a chronic illness that plagues their bodies 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that putting on a happy face is not always possible. We really do TRY. Trust me.
Again I think you really did mean well by your comments. It's just the way some of your thoughts came "out on paper," that made it seem like we could all just wish our problems away.
Please do not leave thinking that you are a bad person for expressing your feelings. It was your misunderstanding of what people with disabilities actually face everyday. I DO realize that you meant to cheer Rena up. For that I cannot fault you.
Anything you would like to truly learn about living with MS, we would be glad to share with you.
Do have a good day. I really do mean that.
Heather
Please understand that I believe what was misinterpreted, was the manner in which you talked about "mind over matter." It sounded like all of us with MS could just tell our bodies to forget what our bodies are telling us and this would make our phsyical problems go away.
I totally agree with you that a positive attitude is of utmost importance in fighting any problem in your life. I hope that you will understand also, that when a person has a chronic illness that plagues their bodies 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that putting on a happy face is not always possible. We really do TRY. Trust me.
Again I think you really did mean well by your comments. It's just the way some of your thoughts came "out on paper," that made it seem like we could all just wish our problems away.
Please do not leave thinking that you are a bad person for expressing your feelings. It was your misunderstanding of what people with disabilities actually face everyday. I DO realize that you meant to cheer Rena up. For that I cannot fault you.
Anything you would like to truly learn about living with MS, we would be glad to share with you.
Do have a good day. I really do mean that.
Heather
I never stated that her symptoms were in her head, I do realize actual physical things does happen but what no one fails to realize that a lot of things like mind games places us from reality! She may indeed be in a crucial state but what is so wrong with saying think good thoughts and you’ll be better. I don’t think anyone who is reading what I am trying to say is that she was depressed over her friends and I just wanted to make her feel better about them. Only one person on her helped me out by leaving an understanding comment to me back, but you know what, your right; I’m sorry! And I will back off. I guess the way no one understands ya'll problems is just about the way ya'll don’t understand that I know she's sick and that I know that this is not a mind thing and with hope and believe you can make it past anything I maybe young but by far am I dumb! I don’t have to argue with anyone! I just thought I would try to brighten up her day and obviously I did a poor job at it. I said I wish her no harm, but you can’t force your help upon people who cant/ wont hear you out! This conversation is over. For you, Mrs. Rena, and anyone else I will not reply, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but how do you want someone from the “outside” looking in understand what any of you are going through if you shut the window! I am very open minded to anyone/thing but if "you" (in general) want to be closed minded then ok, no need to argue! Have a good day!
I just wanted to thank you for taking the time out to write me. And yes sir I did and do not know what MS is. I just thought I could help her from what I assumed was her depression. No sir, I wasn’t clear of how server her condition was but at the same time I knew she has one from what she had stated! Honestly, I just wanted her to feel better about her friends because I know sometimes hi hurt the ones I love and they get mad at me and never let me know till tension builds up and we are at each others throats. When we talk about our differences it makes us better and stronger! I just wanted her to see for sure if they are or aren’t before letting them go! And I would love to know more about MS so I can understand; by far am I bias and I love learning. That’s because “young” people has a lot to learn and I’m willing!
Thanks,
Tori
Thanks,
Tori
I’m glad to see, "what I assume", your feeling better. You seem really up and motivated to tell your "friends" how you feel, and you’re going to try to tie a fly? lol I guess, all's well ends well... I hope this all works out for you and I wish you well!
It seems that I was wrong in my belief of you teaching yourself to love and help you, so I’m rather sorry for my incompetence of this matter. I maybe young but I deal/dealt with equal amount of imbalanced measures, and I'm not a hateful person, I just try to make everyone happy. Sometimes I don’t realize that my help is crucial, but what people fails to realize, it’s not in vain. I’m sorry to have offended you and/or your net work friends. Just because I don’t have what ya'll have doesn’t incapable me to understand that there are people out there that’s gets over looked and it hurts them to feel this way; I just thought since it’s us "outsiders" who is doing the hurting that I could show you/anyone else in this conversation that an "outsider" that is listening and wants to help. Please forgive me if I had hurt you or misinterpret the situation. I just wanted you to smile because life is beautiful; if you see it for it, and not what people makes of it. I don’t want to be misconstrued the situation or discombobulate anyone; I’m not a bias person! Much love goes out to you and I hope you have a wonderful time in what I think you may be going fishing? I’m not to sure of "try to tie a fly" means lol... and further more I hope when you talk to your "friends" that they see their wrongs and drop to their knees for forgiveness, and you will take them back like the loving friend you've been for all these years. I think from what I have been reading that my conversation here is done. I've seemed to have gotten to some people who just rather I would back off, so once again I’m sorry for disturbing you and I wish you well, good luck.
Tori:)
Ps. remember to smile!
It seems that I was wrong in my belief of you teaching yourself to love and help you, so I’m rather sorry for my incompetence of this matter. I maybe young but I deal/dealt with equal amount of imbalanced measures, and I'm not a hateful person, I just try to make everyone happy. Sometimes I don’t realize that my help is crucial, but what people fails to realize, it’s not in vain. I’m sorry to have offended you and/or your net work friends. Just because I don’t have what ya'll have doesn’t incapable me to understand that there are people out there that’s gets over looked and it hurts them to feel this way; I just thought since it’s us "outsiders" who is doing the hurting that I could show you/anyone else in this conversation that an "outsider" that is listening and wants to help. Please forgive me if I had hurt you or misinterpret the situation. I just wanted you to smile because life is beautiful; if you see it for it, and not what people makes of it. I don’t want to be misconstrued the situation or discombobulate anyone; I’m not a bias person! Much love goes out to you and I hope you have a wonderful time in what I think you may be going fishing? I’m not to sure of "try to tie a fly" means lol... and further more I hope when you talk to your "friends" that they see their wrongs and drop to their knees for forgiveness, and you will take them back like the loving friend you've been for all these years. I think from what I have been reading that my conversation here is done. I've seemed to have gotten to some people who just rather I would back off, so once again I’m sorry for disturbing you and I wish you well, good luck.
Tori:)
Ps. remember to smile!
HI, I CAN RELATE TO WHAT YOUR ARE GOING THROUGH AND I AM STILL WORKING. I USED TO HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP WHICH THEY CALLED THEMSELVES MY STEP-DAUGHTERS. IN THE BEGGINING THEY HELP A LOT, NOT ANY MORE.
WHEN I AM BACK AT WORK, THEY DO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY BEING IN AND THEY JUST GO BY AS IF I DID NOT EXIST. IT HURST ME A LOT BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME THEY KNOW I AM AT THE OFFICE IS WHEN THEY NEED MY HELP AND AFTER THAT I AM LEFT OUT.
I AM SORRYTHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING I AM. IF THEY ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH THEIR ATTITUDES HURT US, MAY BE THEY WOULD REALIZE HOW GOOD OF A FRIEND WE HAVE BEEN. FOR ME, IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON, THE LORD WILL GUIDE US.
I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOUR POST ON HOW MUCH ENERGY YOU HAD AFTER YOUR STEROIDS TREATMENT. I AM SORRY IF THIS HURTS YOU, BUT I NEED TO ASK YOU. DID YOU COME TO MY HOUSE IN PUERTO RICO AND LEFT PART OF YOUR ENERGY HERE? YOU SEE ON SUNDAY I WAS NOT FEELING WELL, BUT AFTER RESTING FOR TWO HOURS, I GOT UP AS MAD CLEANING LADY. I DO NOT HAVE A HUSBAND WHO CAN DO MY CLEANING. SO I CLEANED THE HOUSE, INCLUDING MY FRIDGE AND KITCHEN FLOOR. AFTER THAT I REARRANGED MY FURNITURE AND MY DECORATIONS TO POINT TO CHANGE SOME OF IT. I THINK YOU CAME OVER, AND I GOT HOOKED ON YOUR CLEANING VENTURE. MY HOUSE IS SPOTLESS, BUT I AM ON STEROIDS TREATMENT NOW. NOT TO BLAME YOU. I JUST WANTED TO HUMOR YOU A LITTLE.
WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, I KNOW IS NOT THE SAME, BUT UNTIL YOU FIND REAL CLOSE FRIEND THAT YOU CAN SHARE WITH, WE ARE ALL A MESSAGE AWAY.
WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR CONVERSATION WITH YOUR SO CALLED "FRIENDS" LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU HAVE MS, BUT MS DOES NOT HAVE YOU. LET ME KNOW THEIR RECATION.
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF.
LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS,
ZULMA
WHEN I AM BACK AT WORK, THEY DO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY BEING IN AND THEY JUST GO BY AS IF I DID NOT EXIST. IT HURST ME A LOT BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME THEY KNOW I AM AT THE OFFICE IS WHEN THEY NEED MY HELP AND AFTER THAT I AM LEFT OUT.
I AM SORRYTHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING I AM. IF THEY ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH THEIR ATTITUDES HURT US, MAY BE THEY WOULD REALIZE HOW GOOD OF A FRIEND WE HAVE BEEN. FOR ME, IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON, THE LORD WILL GUIDE US.
I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOUR POST ON HOW MUCH ENERGY YOU HAD AFTER YOUR STEROIDS TREATMENT. I AM SORRY IF THIS HURTS YOU, BUT I NEED TO ASK YOU. DID YOU COME TO MY HOUSE IN PUERTO RICO AND LEFT PART OF YOUR ENERGY HERE? YOU SEE ON SUNDAY I WAS NOT FEELING WELL, BUT AFTER RESTING FOR TWO HOURS, I GOT UP AS MAD CLEANING LADY. I DO NOT HAVE A HUSBAND WHO CAN DO MY CLEANING. SO I CLEANED THE HOUSE, INCLUDING MY FRIDGE AND KITCHEN FLOOR. AFTER THAT I REARRANGED MY FURNITURE AND MY DECORATIONS TO POINT TO CHANGE SOME OF IT. I THINK YOU CAME OVER, AND I GOT HOOKED ON YOUR CLEANING VENTURE. MY HOUSE IS SPOTLESS, BUT I AM ON STEROIDS TREATMENT NOW. NOT TO BLAME YOU. I JUST WANTED TO HUMOR YOU A LITTLE.
WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, I KNOW IS NOT THE SAME, BUT UNTIL YOU FIND REAL CLOSE FRIEND THAT YOU CAN SHARE WITH, WE ARE ALL A MESSAGE AWAY.
WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR CONVERSATION WITH YOUR SO CALLED "FRIENDS" LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU HAVE MS, BUT MS DOES NOT HAVE YOU. LET ME KNOW THEIR RECATION.
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF.
LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS,
ZULMA
I'M POSTING LATE AS USUAL.
I'M REALLY SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO ENDURE THE IGNORANCE OF SO-CALLED FRIENDS.
SWEETIE YOU ARE AN INSPIRING LADY AND THIS IS THESE PEOPLES LOSS AND OUR GAIN.
THERE'S MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE OUT THERE AND I AM BLESSED TO HAVE THE COMMUNITY SUPPORT I HAVE AND THE SMALL GROUP OF SPECIAL FRIENDS I HAVE.
I DO SPEND MUCH OF MY TIME AT HOME ALSO WAITING ON SOMEONE TO GIVE ME A RIDE AND SO FORTH AND IT BITES.
CAN I BE THE FIRST TO JOIN YOU COG---FOG GROUP,I'D BE YOUR GUEST SPEAKER,BUT I'D FORGET WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY.(LOL)
YOU DON'T DESERVE THE WAY THESE PEOPLE TREATED YOU AND SHAME ON THEM FOR THERE BEHAVOR,JUST BECAUSE WE CAN'T RUN,JUMP,SKIP AND REMEMBER THINGS ALL THE TIME,WE STILL ARE HUMAN AND WITH FEELINGS.
RENA,I DO BELEIVE THAT PEOPLE WITH DISORDERS AND DISEASES MAKE KINDER HEARTED PEOPLE.
YOU WILL FIND THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE.
YOUR HUBBY SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM,JUST A THOUGHT,YOU COULD HAVE HUBBY DRESS UP IN A CHEUFFER(SP) UNIFORM AND DRIVE YA IN THAT SPORTY MUSTANG.
YOU KEEP YOURSELF FOCUSSED ON THAT FISHING TRIP YOU HAVE PLANNED.
PEOPLE CAN BE SUCH JERKS,IF I COULD GET MY LEG HIGH ENOUGH,I'D LIKE TO KICK THERE HINEYS FOR HURTING YOU.
YOUR LOVED HERE.
T
I'M REALLY SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO ENDURE THE IGNORANCE OF SO-CALLED FRIENDS.
SWEETIE YOU ARE AN INSPIRING LADY AND THIS IS THESE PEOPLES LOSS AND OUR GAIN.
THERE'S MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE OUT THERE AND I AM BLESSED TO HAVE THE COMMUNITY SUPPORT I HAVE AND THE SMALL GROUP OF SPECIAL FRIENDS I HAVE.
I DO SPEND MUCH OF MY TIME AT HOME ALSO WAITING ON SOMEONE TO GIVE ME A RIDE AND SO FORTH AND IT BITES.
CAN I BE THE FIRST TO JOIN YOU COG---FOG GROUP,I'D BE YOUR GUEST SPEAKER,BUT I'D FORGET WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY.(LOL)
YOU DON'T DESERVE THE WAY THESE PEOPLE TREATED YOU AND SHAME ON THEM FOR THERE BEHAVOR,JUST BECAUSE WE CAN'T RUN,JUMP,SKIP AND REMEMBER THINGS ALL THE TIME,WE STILL ARE HUMAN AND WITH FEELINGS.
RENA,I DO BELEIVE THAT PEOPLE WITH DISORDERS AND DISEASES MAKE KINDER HEARTED PEOPLE.
YOU WILL FIND THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE.
YOUR HUBBY SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM,JUST A THOUGHT,YOU COULD HAVE HUBBY DRESS UP IN A CHEUFFER(SP) UNIFORM AND DRIVE YA IN THAT SPORTY MUSTANG.
YOU KEEP YOURSELF FOCUSSED ON THAT FISHING TRIP YOU HAVE PLANNED.
PEOPLE CAN BE SUCH JERKS,IF I COULD GET MY LEG HIGH ENOUGH,I'D LIKE TO KICK THERE HINEYS FOR HURTING YOU.
YOUR LOVED HERE.
T
I spent some time frustrated, and upset, but, life is what it is. I try not to worry about things I can't change, or that I don't know about.
My teenager is now her own problem, and not under my roof, lol, she lives at her boyfriends parents, I love her dearly, but my tiny 24ft by22ft wartime bungalow couldn't fit two women, lol.
I am not at work anymore, but, we make do, as I finished paying for my house a few years ago. We're not well off, by any means, but, we are good.
My mother is an inspiration, at 82, she organizes a glee club, line dances, lives on 70 acres of forest, by herself, in a large timberframe home, which she heats with wood she carries. She and her drinking buddy friend organize dinners for groups from their seniors group, all the recipes are from the LCBO cook book, everything contains alcohol, in other words. She puts over 50,000 miles on her subaru all wheel drive each year. An old lady she is NOT. lol
I love my bf of the last almost ten years dearly, he is a smart ***, and a pain in the *** sometimes, but we suit one another to a tee. And he's handy with a hammer, which my poor old house needs, lol. He came into my life when I was a very healthy, attractive slim woman in her thirties. He stuck with me through this whole ordeal, and is what keeps me well grounded. As do my lady friends at the gym, and others.
Life isn't always easy, but, it is always what I make of it. I like it, though I could stand to lose ten or so pounds. We won't get specific on that count, lol. There are a few things I'd change, but far more I would keep.
Dale and I share a lot together, but, we have different interests from time to time. We each enjoy each others company when we are together, we also cherish our times apart, lol.
Remember, things are always different tomorrow,
Erica
My teenager is now her own problem, and not under my roof, lol, she lives at her boyfriends parents, I love her dearly, but my tiny 24ft by22ft wartime bungalow couldn't fit two women, lol.
I am not at work anymore, but, we make do, as I finished paying for my house a few years ago. We're not well off, by any means, but, we are good.
My mother is an inspiration, at 82, she organizes a glee club, line dances, lives on 70 acres of forest, by herself, in a large timberframe home, which she heats with wood she carries. She and her drinking buddy friend organize dinners for groups from their seniors group, all the recipes are from the LCBO cook book, everything contains alcohol, in other words. She puts over 50,000 miles on her subaru all wheel drive each year. An old lady she is NOT. lol
I love my bf of the last almost ten years dearly, he is a smart ***, and a pain in the *** sometimes, but we suit one another to a tee. And he's handy with a hammer, which my poor old house needs, lol. He came into my life when I was a very healthy, attractive slim woman in her thirties. He stuck with me through this whole ordeal, and is what keeps me well grounded. As do my lady friends at the gym, and others.
Life isn't always easy, but, it is always what I make of it. I like it, though I could stand to lose ten or so pounds. We won't get specific on that count, lol. There are a few things I'd change, but far more I would keep.
Dale and I share a lot together, but, we have different interests from time to time. We each enjoy each others company when we are together, we also cherish our times apart, lol.
Remember, things are always different tomorrow,
Erica
I AM REALLY SORRY YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS. I WISH I HAD SOME IDEAS THAT WOULD HELP. WISH WE LIVED BESIDE EACH OTHER, WE COULD KEEP EACH OTHER COMPANY!
I DO HAVE MY CHILDREN AND THEY ARE SUCH A BLESSING! I HAVE ACTUALLY FELT ISOLATED BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN! SEVERAL OF THEM HAVE DOWN SYNDROME. I THINK PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF HANGING OUT WITH US. I THINK HEALTH ISSUES AND A LOT OF CHILDREN CAUSE PEOPLE TO RUN THE OTHER WAY.
NOW THAT I HAVE STARTED OPTIC NEURITIS I HAVE TO ADMIT I AM AFRAID OF BEING TOTALLY HOUSE BOUND AT SOME POINT MYSELF. I HAVE ALREADY TOLD MY 11 YEAR OLD SON I AM GOING TO HIRE HIM TO BE MY DRIVER WHEN HE IS OLD ENOUGH. WE WILL GO OUT TO EAT AND GO TO THE MALL! :)
I KNOW NO ONE CAN REALLY SOLVE THIS FOR YOU BUT HOPEFULLY SHARING HOW PAINFUL THIS EXPERENCE WAS WILL HELP SOME. SHARING THINGS REALLY HELPS ME EVEN IF THERE IS NO REAL SOLUTION.
LA
I DO HAVE MY CHILDREN AND THEY ARE SUCH A BLESSING! I HAVE ACTUALLY FELT ISOLATED BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN! SEVERAL OF THEM HAVE DOWN SYNDROME. I THINK PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF HANGING OUT WITH US. I THINK HEALTH ISSUES AND A LOT OF CHILDREN CAUSE PEOPLE TO RUN THE OTHER WAY.
NOW THAT I HAVE STARTED OPTIC NEURITIS I HAVE TO ADMIT I AM AFRAID OF BEING TOTALLY HOUSE BOUND AT SOME POINT MYSELF. I HAVE ALREADY TOLD MY 11 YEAR OLD SON I AM GOING TO HIRE HIM TO BE MY DRIVER WHEN HE IS OLD ENOUGH. WE WILL GO OUT TO EAT AND GO TO THE MALL! :)
I KNOW NO ONE CAN REALLY SOLVE THIS FOR YOU BUT HOPEFULLY SHARING HOW PAINFUL THIS EXPERENCE WAS WILL HELP SOME. SHARING THINGS REALLY HELPS ME EVEN IF THERE IS NO REAL SOLUTION.
LA
I get what you are saying and I agree with you totally! I just need to find my little niche in this world that I fit in and I also have to ensure that my husband is happy as well. This, I know is going to be difficult and a little scary as I guess it is for anyone that has to make a lifestyle change for any reason.
Erica you have such a bright outlook and seem so happy in your posts and for that I am very envious and yet hopeful!
This has been a very emotional weekend for me and also I have learned a lot! This is just one more lesson that I had not intended on...there will be change with this illness and it is something that I am just going to have to deal with! The illness is not going away so I have some BIG decisions to make but I have time and through the bumps on this road to change I know that I have my cyberfriends to help me along and I appreciate it!
Lots of Hugs,
Rena
Erica you have such a bright outlook and seem so happy in your posts and for that I am very envious and yet hopeful!
This has been a very emotional weekend for me and also I have learned a lot! This is just one more lesson that I had not intended on...there will be change with this illness and it is something that I am just going to have to deal with! The illness is not going away so I have some BIG decisions to make but I have time and through the bumps on this road to change I know that I have my cyberfriends to help me along and I appreciate it!
Lots of Hugs,
Rena
You are right...FAITH can have a place in helping us in our lives. (It is in mine) I WISH that I could pray this MS away....and I DO try to keep a positive attitude about it all.
Rena is going a GREAT job of handling things and I commend her for her bravery...
Heather
Rena is going a GREAT job of handling things and I commend her for her bravery...
Heather
Hi there.
I still have many people I am friendly with when I run into them, but, since becoming ill, my lifestyle has changed, dramatically. I now have many different aquaintances. People who are interested in doing the things I now do.
I joined a gym to try to regain strength, etc, and met up with a group of retired ladies who graciously invited me to join their group. I exercise with them, have coffee after classes and we hike together every Tuesday. When I am able, I go. Sometimes it's as simple as a walk through town, usually groomed trails, for over an hour. Then lunch, mmmmmmmmmm.
I don't have the same interests and activities as I had before I was ill, my lifestyle is quite different, and has taken some adjusting, but, I like me now. So do my friends.
Nothing about my life is the same, but, it's impact, so far, has not got me down. Thankfully, lol.
Hoping you are happy,
Erica
I still have many people I am friendly with when I run into them, but, since becoming ill, my lifestyle has changed, dramatically. I now have many different aquaintances. People who are interested in doing the things I now do.
I joined a gym to try to regain strength, etc, and met up with a group of retired ladies who graciously invited me to join their group. I exercise with them, have coffee after classes and we hike together every Tuesday. When I am able, I go. Sometimes it's as simple as a walk through town, usually groomed trails, for over an hour. Then lunch, mmmmmmmmmm.
I don't have the same interests and activities as I had before I was ill, my lifestyle is quite different, and has taken some adjusting, but, I like me now. So do my friends.
Nothing about my life is the same, but, it's impact, so far, has not got me down. Thankfully, lol.
Hoping you are happy,
Erica
Rena, we do understand how you feel and as always will do our best to support you. That's what friends are for, at least this group of friends.
From reading what Tori is saying, I get the idea that her postion may be based on religious beliefs. There are those who believe that illness can really be dealt with through a mind over matter philosophy, and nothing we say can change that. Of course we can try 'attitude adjustments' and so on. We all do this, and it's good. But we know for sure that no amount of attitude will change some grim realities for us. Not everyone gets this, but I think they do mean well. Or are just very young. I'm so glad you can take it in stride.
Hugs back,
ess
From reading what Tori is saying, I get the idea that her postion may be based on religious beliefs. There are those who believe that illness can really be dealt with through a mind over matter philosophy, and nothing we say can change that. Of course we can try 'attitude adjustments' and so on. We all do this, and it's good. But we know for sure that no amount of attitude will change some grim realities for us. Not everyone gets this, but I think they do mean well. Or are just very young. I'm so glad you can take it in stride.
Hugs back,
ess
This thread is a good example of how we all wish that the human race worked. I am amazed at just how much support you have given me and realistically, you don't even know me. I had been putting trust into someone that I thought was a "friend" for about 5 years and we had been through thick and thin, good and bad, healthy and even unhealthy but when it was someone else that is unhealthy I think that it probably is inconvenient for them.
My husband and I had a LONG talk last night about this whole situation and I hope you don't mind but I had him read some of the posts that you, my friends, made following my initial post. The tears were flowing by the time he finished and he said that "if those "real" people can treat me like that and expect to get away with it, they had better be careful cause just around the corner there are some real cyber friends that will straighten them out if you just ask!"
We have come to the agreement that we are going to speak to them and let them know that we understand that they are not sure how to deal with my illness and there are a lot of times that we don't know either. We want them to know that if they were unsure or if my illness was scaring them, as true friends they should have felt comfortable enough to ask questions about what was going on...they never did ask questions...we didn't push it on them. We want them to realize that through the last year, we have never, not once asked for any help from them and we certainly were not waiting for them to offer...it was clear that it was not forthcoming anyway. We want them to know that we genuinely thought that they were caring members of our lifetime group of friends but if they felt that they could not deal with my illness they are welcome to move on and we hope they find new, more understanding friends than they are.
My husband feels very strongly about this and it was pretty funny actually because he says, "I think we should buy gift certificates for a tattoo parlour for them so they can get tattoo's on their forehead that say - I will be your friend, but don't expect love!"
I don't know why these people think I am such a pariah to be put away in a corner and brought out when their conscious needs clearing but this is not who I am going to be! I was their for them when there was life threatening surgery looming for her and her granddaughter and I was in ICU helping with the baby because grandma was flat on her back after surgery...but I wasn't EXPECTING payback...I just expected them to be my friend as they had expected me to be back then when the going was tough!
My husband and I would like to thank each and every one of you for your support, kind words and for just being a friend to me when I needed one. I will be fine and I am going to move on (albeit, probably rather slowly) and find a new niche that fits me better than the last. I am going to try to get some of my fly tying material out today and just try to tie a fly! I haven't done it for a long time and I am not sure if I remember how but what the heck. I used to belong to a fly tying club here but they meet on the other side of the city and I just can't get there regularly. They are a great bunch of guys though and I might see if I can drop in on a meeting here and their just to keep in touch...who knows?
I have a hard time with clubs and things, most of them are based on things having to do with women (NO OFFENSE INTENDED) and I get along with men soooo much better than women and always have (MEDHELP FORUM WOMEN EXCEPTED!!!!) just the way I was raised I guess. I always did things with Dad (fooling in the workshop building things, walking through the woods learning about nature, fishing with Dad) and Mom and I while very close never got into the knitting, baking sort of stuff. I do sew rather well and do embroidery and do crochet but you do not want me to try to bake a cookie (and I HATE baking!!)
So things are looking up and it is thank's in most part to your attitudes and abilities to make your friends feel better and I Love You all for it...THANK YOU!!!
Lots of Hugs,
Rena
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