Aa
Feel like a failure...
I'm in the middle of a relapse (though I'm starting to think it's permanent) and so so tired I can hardly function. As a result my 13yo son has missed a week of school to care for me.
The school grants him 'carer's leave' because they know he is the only one in the house to look after me, bar me of course.
Anyway, my sister offered to take him to her place for a while so I can have a break from Mummying duties, and so he can get back to school.
I've been a mum (of 4, 3 now in their 20s) for 27 years and this is the first time I've ever felt as though I cannot be the best mum I can be..........I don't know whether to send him there or not......I feel like a failure because being a mother has always been my number one job, and to be incapable of it all of a sudden is very depressing.
what would you do?
The school grants him 'carer's leave' because they know he is the only one in the house to look after me, bar me of course.
Anyway, my sister offered to take him to her place for a while so I can have a break from Mummying duties, and so he can get back to school.
I've been a mum (of 4, 3 now in their 20s) for 27 years and this is the first time I've ever felt as though I cannot be the best mum I can be..........I don't know whether to send him there or not......I feel like a failure because being a mother has always been my number one job, and to be incapable of it all of a sudden is very depressing.
what would you do?
There is so little to add here. But, I want to say that, as a pediatrician, I was often faced with this kind of dilemma to add my advice to.
Sometimes the best care of a child is to take good care of the mother. Now the question becomes what is good care for you. My gut feeling is that at 13 your son should not be that primary or sole caretaker should be his role. I think he should have the opportunity of a reprieve and you should be released, at least temporarily, from the guilt of knowing that he was missing "his" life while taking care of you.
Why don't you try the respite your sister is offering after settting up an emergency resposne for you with other family or friends. Have a telephone check up two or three times a day so that people know you are okay alone AND that he is okay there.
Also, none of this is written in stone. If something about it is terrible, it can be undone.
Just a few pragmatic suggestions - most of which are offered above.
There is nothing about being ill that makes you a bad mum. And I think your son really does know this.
HUGS
Quix
Sometimes the best care of a child is to take good care of the mother. Now the question becomes what is good care for you. My gut feeling is that at 13 your son should not be that primary or sole caretaker should be his role. I think he should have the opportunity of a reprieve and you should be released, at least temporarily, from the guilt of knowing that he was missing "his" life while taking care of you.
Why don't you try the respite your sister is offering after settting up an emergency resposne for you with other family or friends. Have a telephone check up two or three times a day so that people know you are okay alone AND that he is okay there.
Also, none of this is written in stone. If something about it is terrible, it can be undone.
Just a few pragmatic suggestions - most of which are offered above.
There is nothing about being ill that makes you a bad mum. And I think your son really does know this.
HUGS
Quix
Hi there,
You have had lots of good advice, so I am chiming in a bit late on all this, I haven't been on the forum much lately.
Don't feel bad for needing a rest, it is the quality of your parenting, and you have given lots of quality over the years, but if you need time out to rest then perhaps that's what you need to do. If you are honestly that tired your parenting wouldn't really be parenting anyway. At 13 kids are pretty switched on, old enough to understand and cope and adjust, if he has cousins the same age going to the same school it wouldn't be too hard on him, you are not sending him there forever.
If you think you are having a relapse and a problem with fatigue you need to go back to your neurologist or GP, give them a call, sometimes there are medications that might help with this. Don't be frightened to ask for help. Perhaps if you have a weeks rest you might feel better to cope. Are you on DMD yet? I would ring your MS Nurse or your doctor and have a chat to them.
Don't beat yourself up, we all get tired, being tired doesn't deem you a bad parent. If you are worried about the seisures book an appointment at the doctors and find out their thoughts if they are likely to occur again. You love your son, you have been there for all your children for many things, a few weeks in the big picture won't make any difference, it's the quality of the love. Take care, let us know how you are going.
Talk soon,
Udkas.
You have had lots of good advice, so I am chiming in a bit late on all this, I haven't been on the forum much lately.
Don't feel bad for needing a rest, it is the quality of your parenting, and you have given lots of quality over the years, but if you need time out to rest then perhaps that's what you need to do. If you are honestly that tired your parenting wouldn't really be parenting anyway. At 13 kids are pretty switched on, old enough to understand and cope and adjust, if he has cousins the same age going to the same school it wouldn't be too hard on him, you are not sending him there forever.
If you think you are having a relapse and a problem with fatigue you need to go back to your neurologist or GP, give them a call, sometimes there are medications that might help with this. Don't be frightened to ask for help. Perhaps if you have a weeks rest you might feel better to cope. Are you on DMD yet? I would ring your MS Nurse or your doctor and have a chat to them.
Don't beat yourself up, we all get tired, being tired doesn't deem you a bad parent. If you are worried about the seisures book an appointment at the doctors and find out their thoughts if they are likely to occur again. You love your son, you have been there for all your children for many things, a few weeks in the big picture won't make any difference, it's the quality of the love. Take care, let us know how you are going.
Talk soon,
Udkas.
Hi There
I am new to this forum, but I read your post and was brought to tears. Your words, love and concern for your son show that you are an amazing mum and have been one for his whole life! I had a mother with MS, and when I was about your son's age, we both came down with the same flu.........of course, you can imagine how it hit her.......so I was at home, taking care of her while I was sick myself..............I am 40 now, I lost my mother 12 years ago and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.........anyways, please do not feel like a failure! You are not. You are doing the best you can with what you've been given.
Is there any home care or respite services you could utilize to ease the situation for yourself or your son? Is there a volunteer group/friends that could lend a hand during this especially difficult time?
You didn't choose this, so never feel like bad mum....or an inadequate one. Anybody with this disease would choose not to have it if they could.........you're doing what you can in this situation, and I am certain your son knows how much you love him!
I hope you feel better soon.....take care........
Dollface
I am new to this forum, but I read your post and was brought to tears. Your words, love and concern for your son show that you are an amazing mum and have been one for his whole life! I had a mother with MS, and when I was about your son's age, we both came down with the same flu.........of course, you can imagine how it hit her.......so I was at home, taking care of her while I was sick myself..............I am 40 now, I lost my mother 12 years ago and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.........anyways, please do not feel like a failure! You are not. You are doing the best you can with what you've been given.
Is there any home care or respite services you could utilize to ease the situation for yourself or your son? Is there a volunteer group/friends that could lend a hand during this especially difficult time?
You didn't choose this, so never feel like bad mum....or an inadequate one. Anybody with this disease would choose not to have it if they could.........you're doing what you can in this situation, and I am certain your son knows how much you love him!
I hope you feel better soon.....take care........
Dollface
I am so happy that you are having a better day today :) !!!!
Thanks for keeping us posted - remember that we are here for you
Enjoy the day - you deserve it!
Hugs,
Erin :)
I'm glad you are feeling better today! I really hope that you get the help you need. Have you used a walker before for your balance issue, maybe a rollator or a cane?
As far as your son......I just had to laugh. When I was in jr. high and high school, school the first bell rang at 7:20, class began at 7:25.
Red
As far as your son......I just had to laugh. When I was in jr. high and high school, school the first bell rang at 7:20, class began at 7:25.
Red
Hi Jemmy,
I would beat myself up just like you are doing to yourself too. BUT, it's soo very wrong to do so.
I learned from a good friend of mine years ago that nothing is worse than the torture we inflict on ourselves and it takes hard work to treat yourself good sometimes.
So, let us pamper you while you learn from us to get some guilt free rest. Yes, I said "guilt" free. So hard to do, but I know you can.
Be good to yourself :)
-shell
I would beat myself up just like you are doing to yourself too. BUT, it's soo very wrong to do so.
I learned from a good friend of mine years ago that nothing is worse than the torture we inflict on ourselves and it takes hard work to treat yourself good sometimes.
So, let us pamper you while you learn from us to get some guilt free rest. Yes, I said "guilt" free. So hard to do, but I know you can.
Be good to yourself :)
-shell
((hugs)) JemmAus
I agree with what everyone said. I hope today is a brighter day for you!
~Jess
I agree with what everyone said. I hope today is a brighter day for you!
~Jess
I cannot say anything better than it has already been said,
But I just wanted to say that you are not a failure.
You are not choosing to not take care of yourself, that's just the way it is right now.
I hope you feel better soon.
I am sure that you children know how much you love them and you are not to blame.
Take care
But I just wanted to say that you are not a failure.
You are not choosing to not take care of yourself, that's just the way it is right now.
I hope you feel better soon.
I am sure that you children know how much you love them and you are not to blame.
Take care
I talked to my son this morning and he's not sure either what to do. He said he cannot see how it benefits me not having him around (when I'm dizzy and off balance for example). He also pulled a face when i told him his cousins catch the bus at 7.30 am for school (he doesn't get up until then!)
Then I talked to my 24yo daughter, who reckons a break would be good for both of us.
And then of course today I feel the best I've felt in weeks, just to add that to the mix!
LOL maybe I'll think on it another day........or just send him there for two sleeps fromtomorrow for the rest of the school week.............
Then I talked to my 24yo daughter, who reckons a break would be good for both of us.
And then of course today I feel the best I've felt in weeks, just to add that to the mix!
LOL maybe I'll think on it another day........or just send him there for two sleeps fromtomorrow for the rest of the school week.............
I am so sorry that you are having a big relapse. No one can know how difficult this decision is for you except you.
I agree with Lulu about talking with your son. I always tried to protect mine from conversations like that and later found out that they wanted to be more open and have more input. Regrets I guess we all have those.
Alex also makes a really good point that you will heal faster if you don't spend energy worrying about him.
As for the fear of being alone that I understand. I keep the phone with me at all times even just to go pee and just having it gives me a feeling of being able to call for help if I really need to.
Good luck & I hope that you are on the mend soon
Hugs,
Erin :)
Jemm,
I have been in similar situations, at least emotionally, with my kids. I do have help from my DH when he gets home from work but my kids have rallied around and do help in times of need.
I have talked separately with each of them and received similar answers from all 3...they WANT to help if it will make me better. I explained I might only be better for a short while before it comes back and their response is "so"....
My fear was me disrupting their lives . It seems you have the same issues. I personally would let your sister take him for a while. He needs family and he needs structure. He needs to be 13. My biggest guilt trip was when I was taking my youngest to another state for treatment and HE had to help ME with every day duties.
When asked later about the incident, he replied, "I figured I owed you one." So 16! It certainly cleared my conscience and I think your son is a very caring individual and would respond like my son. But, if you can find resources or friends or family to cook for you and nuke your meals and somebody to call and check on you, then it would be best for both of you to have a break from each other. Just my two cents worth.
Big gentle hugs,
Ren
I have been in similar situations, at least emotionally, with my kids. I do have help from my DH when he gets home from work but my kids have rallied around and do help in times of need.
I have talked separately with each of them and received similar answers from all 3...they WANT to help if it will make me better. I explained I might only be better for a short while before it comes back and their response is "so"....
My fear was me disrupting their lives . It seems you have the same issues. I personally would let your sister take him for a while. He needs family and he needs structure. He needs to be 13. My biggest guilt trip was when I was taking my youngest to another state for treatment and HE had to help ME with every day duties.
When asked later about the incident, he replied, "I figured I owed you one." So 16! It certainly cleared my conscience and I think your son is a very caring individual and would respond like my son. But, if you can find resources or friends or family to cook for you and nuke your meals and somebody to call and check on you, then it would be best for both of you to have a break from each other. Just my two cents worth.
Big gentle hugs,
Ren
You are feeling like you can control something you can't. The litines test is how you would judge another in your place. Usually you will not judge another as harshly. What is most important is where would be the best temporary place for the child. Taking pressure of yourself will speed the healing process.
Alex
Alex
I am sorry you are having such a tough go of things. Maybe your son's school would allow him to do his school work via computer for a few months. Going to live with your sister is another good idea. My questions would be are the house rules similar to yours? Are her sons into the same type of after school activities as your son? Do the boys all get along? How does your sister and her husband discipline? Would her sons be good examples? Do they work in school? Who do they hang out with?
You know, I helped take care of my grandfather as a young girl. I remember emptying his bedpan and cleaning him. I know my friends turned their noses at the things I did and at times it upset my stomach too. But it made me strong later. I sure never have had a problem cleaning up behind sick kids or adults. It taught me compassion as he was helpless to do it himself. (Both his legs had been crushed in an accident. He used one of those old wooden wheelchairs...and we think we have it bad.) Just saying I think the good far out weighs the bad if your son remains home. He will be involved in what real life hands us at times. A valuable lesson at any age.
I wish the best for you.
Sumana
You know, I helped take care of my grandfather as a young girl. I remember emptying his bedpan and cleaning him. I know my friends turned their noses at the things I did and at times it upset my stomach too. But it made me strong later. I sure never have had a problem cleaning up behind sick kids or adults. It taught me compassion as he was helpless to do it himself. (Both his legs had been crushed in an accident. He used one of those old wooden wheelchairs...and we think we have it bad.) Just saying I think the good far out weighs the bad if your son remains home. He will be involved in what real life hands us at times. A valuable lesson at any age.
I wish the best for you.
Sumana
I am so sorry for what you are going through, everyone here has given such great advice. I agree with Lulu about talking to your son. I had a long talk with my son about everything that is going on with me.
At first he said he was scared and that he didn't know what to do, so we had a long talk and now he understands everything. However, with my son, if I kept him home from school to take care of me he would love it because he doesn't like school, but then I would feel the same as you.
There is home schooling here, not sure about in Australia, so if I ever got as bad off as you are right now I would consider homeschooling for my son at least then he would be getting the education.
There are wonderful places that will help so you really should take advantage of them and make the best of it. I know it is a hard time for you right now but just know that you are not alone.
Take care and hope to hear good news from you soon.
Paula
At first he said he was scared and that he didn't know what to do, so we had a long talk and now he understands everything. However, with my son, if I kept him home from school to take care of me he would love it because he doesn't like school, but then I would feel the same as you.
There is home schooling here, not sure about in Australia, so if I ever got as bad off as you are right now I would consider homeschooling for my son at least then he would be getting the education.
There are wonderful places that will help so you really should take advantage of them and make the best of it. I know it is a hard time for you right now but just know that you are not alone.
Take care and hope to hear good news from you soon.
Paula
Oh Jemm, I'm so sorry that you are having such a painful relapse and problems coordinating your care too.
You already have received so much great advice. Like Lu said, your son needs to have a voice in this and he needs help with his feelings. You know how kids are from being a mum, their not very good at talking about their feelings. Perhaps enlisting an older sister/brother to help find out how he feels.
One thing that I would add if it hasn't been said is that there needs to be a protocol set up in your family for situations just like this. The children, sisters and neighbors can meet and decide how they will coordinate care in the future. And how information will b disseminated.
I'm sure there are 'hidden benefits' to not attending school for your son. First, he adores his mum, and second he can do his school work at home. He just needs to understand what is expected of him and what isn't.
And like others have said, all the aides for mobility, cooking, etc. plus having access to emergency systems.
I'm so sorry about this Jemm!! It's an awful situation to be in and feeling that your relapse will never end is a scary thought. I think once this stuff is ironed out that you will start recovering sooner.
Love and hugs.
Red
By the way, what is a cheese toastie and beans on bread. Is that like a grilled cheese and a bean burrito in the states? Just curious
You already have received so much great advice. Like Lu said, your son needs to have a voice in this and he needs help with his feelings. You know how kids are from being a mum, their not very good at talking about their feelings. Perhaps enlisting an older sister/brother to help find out how he feels.
One thing that I would add if it hasn't been said is that there needs to be a protocol set up in your family for situations just like this. The children, sisters and neighbors can meet and decide how they will coordinate care in the future. And how information will b disseminated.
I'm sure there are 'hidden benefits' to not attending school for your son. First, he adores his mum, and second he can do his school work at home. He just needs to understand what is expected of him and what isn't.
And like others have said, all the aides for mobility, cooking, etc. plus having access to emergency systems.
I'm so sorry about this Jemm!! It's an awful situation to be in and feeling that your relapse will never end is a scary thought. I think once this stuff is ironed out that you will start recovering sooner.
Love and hugs.
Red
By the way, what is a cheese toastie and beans on bread. Is that like a grilled cheese and a bean burrito in the states? Just curious
Jemm, there's tons of good advice up here. The one piece I want to add is ...
have you discussed this with your son? At the age of 13, and already being your career, he should be asked his feelings. I anticipate initially he is going to say he wants to stay with you because that is what he has been doing so far.
But really talk this through, and between the two of you I expect that you can come up with a system that works to both of your benefit. Establishing a new routine of normalcy in your household is important for you both.
good luck in figuring this out - it sounds like there are a ton of services available to you. Please take advantage of all of them.
Lulu
have you discussed this with your son? At the age of 13, and already being your career, he should be asked his feelings. I anticipate initially he is going to say he wants to stay with you because that is what he has been doing so far.
But really talk this through, and between the two of you I expect that you can come up with a system that works to both of your benefit. Establishing a new routine of normalcy in your household is important for you both.
good luck in figuring this out - it sounds like there are a ton of services available to you. Please take advantage of all of them.
Lulu
jemm,
what wonderful advice above from jj and sarah.
i don't think there is much i could add other than to let you know i feel for your situation. there is nothing worse that i can think of for a mother, than to feel like she cannot be the mum she'd like to be...i had a bit of that the very first time i came home from the hospital with my first son. i had terrible episiotomy issues and couldn't do all i'd anticipated doing and asking for help was devastating for me. however, that time came and went rather quickly and with any luck so will this time for you.
reach out and get the help you need now when you need it most...your son will learn via example how to advocate for himself by watching his strong mama advocate for herself.
best of luck and i'll be thinking of you during the days to come,
xoxoxoxo michelle
what wonderful advice above from jj and sarah.
i don't think there is much i could add other than to let you know i feel for your situation. there is nothing worse that i can think of for a mother, than to feel like she cannot be the mum she'd like to be...i had a bit of that the very first time i came home from the hospital with my first son. i had terrible episiotomy issues and couldn't do all i'd anticipated doing and asking for help was devastating for me. however, that time came and went rather quickly and with any luck so will this time for you.
reach out and get the help you need now when you need it most...your son will learn via example how to advocate for himself by watching his strong mama advocate for herself.
best of luck and i'll be thinking of you during the days to come,
xoxoxoxo michelle
COMMUNITY LEADER
Jemm my girl,
My computer crashed just as i was sending my post, hope it doesnt do it again tonight but here goes...
You are forgetting the first rule of motherhood, and that is to do your best and there is no one who would doubt that you are doing your best, so put the blasted guilt aside and get busy. Have you contacted MS Australia, they are there to help, (they also grant pretty big wishes) they should be able to get something happening. Also have you contacted your local council to get home help, they clean your house for about $5 a week.
You can also get disability services onto your case, they will come out and see if you need any mobility aides to help you at home, the council will have the numbers you need, so pick up the phone and call them. And one more, contact carers Australia and tell them the situation, they will also have some help for your son, things like camps and support groups for kids who are carers. You should be able to get meals on wheels through the council too, so make some calls.
I would ask one of your sons friends to pick him up and drop him off so you dont have to worry about him getting to and from school. I dont know about you but when my son was not home schooling (lol long story) when i was bad, my son stayed home because it was just too damb hard to get him there (approx 4hours there and back) and i didnt know if id be able to bring him home again. All i did was drive him to school, walk through the door and sleep until the alarm got me up to get him. The step into homeschooling seemed like a solution at the time, can you here the regret oh lordy what a deal i got lol.
It will not matter if your having a bad week and the usual domestic stuff doesnt get done, as long as your getting food in and can make simple meals, shesh cheese toasties or baked beens on toast nothing fancy just simple food will not kill him. Do you have farmers direct in your state, they deliver fresh produce or you could even do coles on line and get the groceries delivered.
Ok you can get a medic allert system, your basically monitored via a sheduled phone call at an agreed time, if you do not respond they over ride the system and call out to you, if you still do not respond they contact your contact person, (family, friend, next door, across the road etc) you also get a panic button so if you fall or need help, they respond straight away, i dont have the name of the company but if you like i'll get it for you.
I dont have that because i'm not alone, Lachs home but i still get a daily phone call from my mum and dh, it does help knowing there is someone for just in case. Can you arrange this with your daughter, seriously you need to tell them like it is and get them on board to help out, a phone call isn't asking too much now is it. :-)
OK i've bombarded you a bit but i just want you to know that you are not alone EVER!!! There are services available for the asking but you need to make some calls to get it happening.
HUGS.........JJ
My computer crashed just as i was sending my post, hope it doesnt do it again tonight but here goes...
You are forgetting the first rule of motherhood, and that is to do your best and there is no one who would doubt that you are doing your best, so put the blasted guilt aside and get busy. Have you contacted MS Australia, they are there to help, (they also grant pretty big wishes) they should be able to get something happening. Also have you contacted your local council to get home help, they clean your house for about $5 a week.
You can also get disability services onto your case, they will come out and see if you need any mobility aides to help you at home, the council will have the numbers you need, so pick up the phone and call them. And one more, contact carers Australia and tell them the situation, they will also have some help for your son, things like camps and support groups for kids who are carers. You should be able to get meals on wheels through the council too, so make some calls.
I would ask one of your sons friends to pick him up and drop him off so you dont have to worry about him getting to and from school. I dont know about you but when my son was not home schooling (lol long story) when i was bad, my son stayed home because it was just too damb hard to get him there (approx 4hours there and back) and i didnt know if id be able to bring him home again. All i did was drive him to school, walk through the door and sleep until the alarm got me up to get him. The step into homeschooling seemed like a solution at the time, can you here the regret oh lordy what a deal i got lol.
It will not matter if your having a bad week and the usual domestic stuff doesnt get done, as long as your getting food in and can make simple meals, shesh cheese toasties or baked beens on toast nothing fancy just simple food will not kill him. Do you have farmers direct in your state, they deliver fresh produce or you could even do coles on line and get the groceries delivered.
Ok you can get a medic allert system, your basically monitored via a sheduled phone call at an agreed time, if you do not respond they over ride the system and call out to you, if you still do not respond they contact your contact person, (family, friend, next door, across the road etc) you also get a panic button so if you fall or need help, they respond straight away, i dont have the name of the company but if you like i'll get it for you.
I dont have that because i'm not alone, Lachs home but i still get a daily phone call from my mum and dh, it does help knowing there is someone for just in case. Can you arrange this with your daughter, seriously you need to tell them like it is and get them on board to help out, a phone call isn't asking too much now is it. :-)
OK i've bombarded you a bit but i just want you to know that you are not alone EVER!!! There are services available for the asking but you need to make some calls to get it happening.
HUGS.........JJ
Hi sarah,
Such kind words....
My sister is married with 3 kids of her own, plus she works 3 days a week. Her twins are my son's age and they attend school together. frankly I don't know how she has the energy to even offer to mind Zac as well as her own. (but I'm forgetting what feeling energetic feels like).
The only other family member in reach is my daughter, who is also a mum herself of a 4yo. She can help on a limited basis, revolving around her mummy duties.
I'm not sure that I'd cope on my own, well I could with the mess one person makes, and nuking left over food is easy.......but I do get scared when I feel so light-headed as I have had a seizure in the past............maybe that fear is what is holding me back.....I'll sleep on it I guess, as my sister is calling me tomorrow to see how I feel then....
Thanks for your kind words
jemm
Such kind words....
My sister is married with 3 kids of her own, plus she works 3 days a week. Her twins are my son's age and they attend school together. frankly I don't know how she has the energy to even offer to mind Zac as well as her own. (but I'm forgetting what feeling energetic feels like).
The only other family member in reach is my daughter, who is also a mum herself of a 4yo. She can help on a limited basis, revolving around her mummy duties.
I'm not sure that I'd cope on my own, well I could with the mess one person makes, and nuking left over food is easy.......but I do get scared when I feel so light-headed as I have had a seizure in the past............maybe that fear is what is holding me back.....I'll sleep on it I guess, as my sister is calling me tomorrow to see how I feel then....
Thanks for your kind words
jemm
Hi there
It is sometimes really hard trying to make decisions, when it is hard enough trying to decide if you have the energy to get off the bed to go to the bathroom (this is show I felt when I was in my worst relapse). So I think the fact that you are asking us for help is that you almost need someone else to give you permission to have a break.
I would suggest that you give yourself permission to follow your own gut feeling and if you need to rest and have a break then take up your sister's offer. I am guessing that you may be feeling guilty that your son has been missing school, so if this will help you then take up the offer. However...if you have been so fatigued then how will you cope at home on your own. I am wondering what your sister's position is and if there is any chance she could come and stay with you to help you at home and get your son to school?
You are not a failure and have obviously been a wonderful Mum for 27 years and still are...here you are putting your son's interests above your own and giving him unconditional love. Are any of your adult children nearby and able to help look after their Mum? Giving into our own illness and health is one of the hardest things to do and I know I am sooooooo bad at taking care of myself...I always try and squeeze that last ounce of energy out of myself to just do one more thing for my kids. There reaches a time when it is important that we take care of ourselves and I think that is where you are now.
So you are obviously in need of support and help and if I was you I would be accepting any help that is offered and thinking about who else I could ask to help me with the day to day things that you do not have the energy to do at present such as shopping, washing and cooking.
Take care, allow yourself to rest and listen to your body.
Hugs, love and support
Sarah x
It is sometimes really hard trying to make decisions, when it is hard enough trying to decide if you have the energy to get off the bed to go to the bathroom (this is show I felt when I was in my worst relapse). So I think the fact that you are asking us for help is that you almost need someone else to give you permission to have a break.
I would suggest that you give yourself permission to follow your own gut feeling and if you need to rest and have a break then take up your sister's offer. I am guessing that you may be feeling guilty that your son has been missing school, so if this will help you then take up the offer. However...if you have been so fatigued then how will you cope at home on your own. I am wondering what your sister's position is and if there is any chance she could come and stay with you to help you at home and get your son to school?
You are not a failure and have obviously been a wonderful Mum for 27 years and still are...here you are putting your son's interests above your own and giving him unconditional love. Are any of your adult children nearby and able to help look after their Mum? Giving into our own illness and health is one of the hardest things to do and I know I am sooooooo bad at taking care of myself...I always try and squeeze that last ounce of energy out of myself to just do one more thing for my kids. There reaches a time when it is important that we take care of ourselves and I think that is where you are now.
So you are obviously in need of support and help and if I was you I would be accepting any help that is offered and thinking about who else I could ask to help me with the day to day things that you do not have the energy to do at present such as shopping, washing and cooking.
Take care, allow yourself to rest and listen to your body.
Hugs, love and support
Sarah x
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Multiple Sclerosis Community
Top Neurology Answerers
Australia
ON
Queensland, Australia
Queen Creek, AZ
Find out how beta-blocker eye drops show promising results for acute migraine relief.
In this special Missouri Medicine report, doctors examine advances in diagnosis and treatment of this devastating and costly neurodegenerative disease.
Here are 12 simple – and fun! – ways to boost your brainpower.
Discover some of the causes of dizziness and how to treat it.
Discover the common causes of headaches and how to treat headache pain.
Two of the largest studies on Alzheimer’s have yielded new clues about the disease
