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Avatar universal

Finally!

Today the doc said that I have early stage MS!
I feel like crying and laughing at the same time.
After all this time of wondering if I was nuts and going to so many docs that didn't take me seriously I don't now what to do. I just started to cry when she said it. It was a mix of relief and feeling happy at the same time.
Is this normal?
I am not happy that I have MS its just that it is nice to know that there is a name I can put on it.
Does this make sense?
I have all of these new emotions going through me. When I saw my husband in the waiting room I just burst into tears again, all the way to the truck.

I guess I get to have MS as my christmas present. Woo hoo!

I just need to hear from all of my friends here and anyone that has some input.



15 Responses
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195469 tn?1388322888
Kathy,

I am quoting a line from your previous post...

"I promise you all that I will learn more about this "life sentence" and help others as best as I can."

Honey, please do not think of "you have MS," as a "life sentence."  You can drastically improve your life in the future, if you do not define yourself as "Kathy, I have MS."  MS does not have you, you are living with a disease called MS.  It doesn't define who you are.  You are still the same Kathy, just fighting a disease that has it's challenges.  Knowing you, will meet and greet those challenges and learn to adapt.    

When the shock of the diagnose wears off, you need to start to integrate your fight with MS; into living life to the fullest.  Will there be bumps and hurdles in your life?....you bet.  But you are a fighter.  Remember that.

When it feels overwhelming, I hope that you will come to your friends for support.  We all have good days and somewhat better days.  I, for one, will not let MS stop me from enjoying the rest of my life.  There is alot of world out there I want to see and experience...I will not let MS tell me otherwise.  If "the" MS gets in my way, I will learn a way around it.  But I will not let it stop me.

Don't forget to lean on your friends.....You are going to get through this diagnosis and gain something from the experience.  I promise you that.

Be well dear and hang in there.  The days will get better.  You will become stronger emotionally.  You have more fight in you than you realize.

Best Wishes, Heather
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Rena, thanks for the words of encourgement. I too hope you are feeling better.
But as the hours change it seems my emotions follow suit. Up and down. You know how it is.

Kathy

Helpful - 0
335728 tn?1331414412
Hey Kathy...how are you feeling now?  Better I hope!  Once the emotional rollercoaster is over we sometimes either fall into a deep funk or we are ready to head back into the world all system's go and I am hoping you are feeling like all system's go!  With the holiday's ahead of you I am hoping that you will go ahead and enjoy them to the fullest as you do not have this other thing looming over you...you have your answer...please enjoy your holidays like you never have before, you deserve it!

Lots of Hugs,

Rena705
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sorry for the double post you know how it is! lol

kathy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you to all of my friends,
I want to thank you all for the support you have gven me and your belief in me. The only way I can show you all how thankful I am to you, is to be supportive to others here who going through the h*** of not knowing.

I promise you all that I will learn more about this "life sentence" and help others as best as I can. I believe that this is the reason I have this "Enemy" to learn from it and be there when I am needed by those going through the same thing.

Rena,
you are a friend that I hope to be to those who will find themselves here in the future!

Quix,
This forum wouldn't be what it is without you. You are a help to more people then I think you really know!

Heather,
I feel blessed to have you as a friend in my life. I knew it from the time you posted to my first comment.
(Hope you still have that Lasso ready and wanting for him.)

To everyone else,
I hope to be there when you need answers or even just a friend.

Kathy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you to all of my friends,
I want to thank you all for the support you have gven me and your belief in me. The only way I can show you all how thankful I am to you, is to be supportive to others here who going through the h*** of not knowing.

I promise you all that I will learn more about this "life sentence" and help others as best as I can. I believe that this is the reason I have this "Enemy" to learn from it and be there when I am needed by those going through the same thing.

Rena,
you are a friend that I hope to be to those who will find themselves here in the future!

Quix,
This forum wouldn't be what it is without you. You are a help to more people then I think you really know!

Heather,
I feel blessed to have you as a friend in my life. I knew it from the time you posted to my first comment.
(Hope you still have that Lasso ready and wanting for him.)

To everyone else,
I hope to be there when you need answers or even just a friend.
Helpful - 0
297366 tn?1215813051
Well I think you sound totally normal! I would feel the same way. I know people think it's nuts to want to have a name for what is wrong with you, but as all the others have said, it just seems easier to know what it is you're fighting. I am still in limbo land, spending lots of time convincing myself that I'm not crazy. I too have been told to just live with what is wrong and don't worry about what it is. Well that's insane to me. How can anyone say anthing so silly.

I am very sorry that you have MS, but I pray that you now can get to work fighting it and getting your life back!
Helpful - 0
195469 tn?1388322888
I am so so sorry.  I just knew from what you were describing that it sounded so much like MS.  But I certainly take no comfort in really feeling that it indeed it WAS MS.

You need to take time to grieve and then we will get back to the job of "living," as a team.  We will help each other.  That's what this forum is for.

You go ahead and do that crying.  Crying is good.  When that's over, well I don't know if it's ever really over, we will get together on line for a good laugh.

You just hold that hubby of course and be sad for a while.  You are experiencing what all people with MS experience.  Joy at finally knowing, then scared because you don't know what the future holds.

Peace will come Mooers.  I promise it will come.  We are here for you and you are your family are in our prayers.

God Bless you sweetheart,

Heather
Helpful - 0
307874 tn?1242755798
I am so glad you finally have the answers you have been searching for.  I know it must be a huge relief to find out.  To finally have a name and to know what to do for it.  To try to find the right med for you and everything so you can get on with your life and not be in limbo!  I, too am not happy that you have ms but. . . you have a diagnosis.  That is something to be happy about.  Yeah, for you.  Many prayers to ya, and have a very merry Christmas.  LYnette
Helpful - 0
338416 tn?1420045702
I can so understand...  and I didn't even go through the same wringer that you did, Mooers.

What I was most scared about before the diagnosis was just "what the heck?"  Did I have a tumor?  Was I going insane?  I had no idea what was wrong - I just knew there was something terribly wrong.

Nobody wants MS, but it's a relief to know it's not something more serious.
Helpful - 0
281565 tn?1295982683
I am thankful that you finally now have an answer although I am sorry for what that answer is. I am still undiagnosed and truly understand the relief you must feel to have a name for what has been ailing you.

I find the hardest part of going through all this is the not knowing. Then you go to doctors who tell you your nuts, or to just live with your symptoms and don't worry about what it is. I have heard it all. To fight an unknown foe is the worst thing anyone has to do. How do you fight something that you don't know? At least now you can start dealing with it and if something new comes up in symptoms, you know that it most probably is part of the MS. The guessing game is over and for that I am happy for you.

So laughing and crying is totally understandable. I think I would react the same way. I wish you all the best in this new chapter of your life. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


Moki
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, I would say that you have said what many of us have thought and felt.  

They say that one of the later symptoms for some with MS is laughing and crying at the same time.  It is kind of like that when we get the answer we have been searching for, too.

Rena and Quix and Kitten have all said it better than I can.  

I am not happy that you have MS.  But, I am happy for you that you now have an answer and know your enemy.  It is easier to fight him in the open then when he is lurking in the shadows and you cannot see him.  I am trying to deal with what I can and then bundle the rest up and send the package to God.

I wish you every success in your battle.  And now may you and your loved ones and friends have a very merry holiday season.  Take care and God bless.  
Helpful - 0
164435 tn?1377102256
I AM SO SORRY, BUT AT LEASE YOU NO NOW.
IT TOOK ME YEARS OF DOC. NOT BELEAVING ME ALSO.
I WAS DX IN MAY, I STILL CAN NOT EXCEPT IT.
I CRY ALL THE TIME. NO ONE WANTS THIS FOR A
XMAS PRESENT,  SANTA JUST CHOOSE THE GOOD
PEOPLE FOR THIS GIFT. NOW WE HAVE TO OPEN IT UP
AND SEE WHATS INSIDE. THERE ARE NO RETURNS.
LIVE AND LEARN ALL YOU CAN. I AM.
YOUR FRIEND KITT
Helpful - 0
147426 tn?1317265632
You've got to use your name each time uless mooers is what you want.  I think you told us, but I have TB (Teflon Brain) and nothings sticks.

We had a party when I finally got my diagnosis!  I was frankly jubilant!  No, I wasn't glad to have MS, but I was already disabled and getting worse from SOMETHING!  I knew things weren't right on the gal!  I was always an active, high-achiever.  Then in the last couple years I came to a complete halt.  I was weak, bone-crushingly tired, irritable and could do less and less for myself.  My family and fiends began to regard me as lazy and high-maintenance.  The diagnosis was my deliverance from h*ll!

Now, I had a name to my enemy, a target, a subject to research, and answer to give people.  Who wouldn't be "happy."??  The anger came a couple weeks later.  Then I was just pissed.  The bloom was off the rose.  No, we don't want MS.  We want answers and a direction.  When you are in limboland you can't make any plans, becasue you don't know anything!

Welcome to the club!!  Add your story to our thread of Personal Diagnosis.  You are already a Charter Member of Hypo Gamma Chondria our Greek House, because you had to go through thinking you were nuts and having others, especially docs implying you were a head case.  This is exactly the scenario I began envisioning when I first started posting on this forum when it was only a couple weeks old and just had a few messages.  I wanted a place where people with MS could hang out and support one another, teach one another and just be firends.  But I also felt it was crucial that we embrace the Undiagnosed, because that is one of the hardest places to be - because it is NOWHERE!  Now, you will learn more about this thing that lives with you, and you can support the others who are still being doubted and put off by their docs.

No, about the Christmas gift thing.  You already had MS.  You already had these symptoms.  You are getting an answer and a home (here) and an end to the late night -"What if I keep getting worse and they never find anything?  How can I keep acting normal?

Well, that is my imput.  Your "qualified" joy is normal and appropriate.  Some will totally understand it.  Those that were slapped with the diagnosis without any warning may not understand it.

Quix

Helpful - 0
335728 tn?1331414412
Well honey...you got your answer and now you can go on living your life instead of waiting to hear what the heck the problem is.  None of us want to be diagnosed with MS but I can understand your relief!  I would like to wish you the best of luck for your future with MS and  you know we will all be behind you 100%!  I would imagine that you will run the gammet of emotions and it will be good for you to express them all.  

Take Care of yourself and like I said before, I wish you the Best of Luck in the future!

Hugs,

Rena705
Helpful - 0
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