Good Bye and thanks

I had an appt. with my doctor this morning to ask some lingering questions after my last MRI/exam. It was a frustrating time. Basically, he said that my reflexs are hyperactive, but not pathological and since my MRIs were normal, there was nothing more he could do. He does not think I have MS, but he never diagnoses it and admits he doesn't know what the diagnostic criteria is. He asked my for the third time in a couple months if I worked outside the home. (This man has been my personal doctor for almost 10 years!) Then he told me that he'd like me to go on anti-depressants for awhle to see if that helped, because people with many strange symptoms who have had many tests done sometimes need them.

I was crushed and very angry, but decided that I will try the pills for 4-6 weeks to see if they make any difference to my symptoms. I'm not depressed (at least I wasn't before my appt.), and my symptoms are real. I thought that he believed me, so now I feel like my relatioship with my doctor is destroyed. He appears to think I'm a head case.

So, since I've done everything I can think of to find out why I'm having so many strange symptoms, I will now just give it up and hope that they go away.  

This has been a helpful place for me to learn. I wish you all the best in life and health!

[Momzilla]

No way, Lisa!  You're not getting away that easily....

What a lazy "doctor."  He admitted to you that he doesn't even know what the diagnostic criteria are for MS.  He can't remember basic things about you.  Your reflexes are hyperactive.  

You need to find a NEW doctor and to stick with your OLD friends (US!)  We're not letting you go!

Go ahead and try the pills if you want, but I'd try a new doctor instead....

Have you even seen a neurologist?  Is this twerp an internist?  I think he knows you too well.  I just recently read that sometimes if a doctor knows a patient so long, he or she can miss diagnosing major illnesses because they don't want to believe their "long-time friend" could be so ill.  Maybe he's just stupid!

Stick around!  Talk some more!  I'm mad, too!

Zilla*

[Sandpuff]

Please, please don't give up, and please don't leave!  What you wrote is so similar to what I have been through.  You are not a "head case" and he probably just suggested the antidepressants because he had no idea what else to do, and it was something to try.

I have had antidepressants shoved at me even when I'm not even close to being depressed.  I've just gone ahead and tried them so I could at least tell them they're not helping.  

Is there another doctor you can see?  Please try to stay with us.  You know your symptoms are real.  Don't question yourself.  Find someone who will go the journey with you and believe what you tell them.  For me, my medical problems have been the most frustrating thing in my life.  Keep tracking what's going on.  For several years I ignored anything that might be a symptom and steered clear of doctors because of the horrible experiences I'd had with them (lots of tests and no answers).  But now I don't have any sort of record of what was going on during that time.  I wish I did now that I'm looking for answers again.

You are not alone in this, you are not a head case, please stay here with us!!

Michelle

[pennst8r]

I was ready to give up myself recently, and my cyber friends here came to the rescue. Now it's your turn. PLEASE do not give up. This doctor freely admitted that he does not know what he's dealing with or how to deal with it. If you want to try the meds, go ahead. But you also need to see a specialist, someone who is actually qualified to diagnose you. Even if you do not have answers, or find it is not in fact MS, there is still no reason you cannot hang out with the friends you've made here. Besides, we can't let the number of Lisa's dwindle:)

Please stick around and let us be here for you.

Penn (Lisa)

[Super_sally888]

Sweetie,

it is moments like this that we are here for!

Your doctor is a DORK, a Weenie!  If he admits he knows nothing about MS of course he won't diagnose it.  He is also a loser if he can remember nothing about you after 10 years of being your doctor.

He might be good for common colds, but he is way not good for you now.

New Doctor time.  Please come back. Don't leave us all.  We are in limbo land together!  Keep us informed.

Sally

[uk2]

Hi

Thats just not on, he has not given this enough time or investigation!!  you need to be strong with him (which is hard) and tell him you want more test to find out what is wrong or find another doctor.  Is this your neuro or dc like we call them here GP (im uk)?

As if it just a dc you need to see a neuro.

Stay with us, there is so much support and your amoung friends here.

I started anti-depressant tw-three weeks ago and they were strong ones i didnt want to but its been nearly a year (6 months of that off work sick) trying to find out what is wrong i got very depressed very low!1 and my good friend on here pulled me up told me to take theA/D and i did and it has made a difference im still in pain but im coping with losing my old life better now and am more positive.

FIND A NEW DOCTOR

AND DONT LEAVE

HUGS

Samantha

[Heather3418]

If you leave, I'm leaving...now...does that make you feel guilty as h e l l?  It should, cause I will not LET you leave us.  You are too big a part of this forum and I for one (and others) will not give up on you and will NOT let you walk away from us.

So...what's your decision?

Heather

[dreamyeyes]

     I am so extremely new to this compared to others on here, but the one thing i can relate to is finding out that others have a hard time believing symptoms are real when they can't see them. Just in three weeks I have had to deal with the most important person in my life thinking I am obsessing over this. All the time and energy I have put into researching different diseases that come up when reading about MS, the time I have put in on this site asking questions and responding to forums, my fiance of two years is questioning my sanity. He believes that the more I read about different symptoms, I will begin having those or at least be able to relate to them in some way. To me that is like saying..."If someone tells you a banana is purple, you will begin to see purple." He told me last night that in the two years we have been together he has never seen me this somber and unhappy and It worries him. I told him that he is right, In the last two years I have not been this worried about anything. After talking with him last night, Im starting to see how I am obsessing to a point and how it is affecting my relationship with him and also my daughters. I ask him if he had looked up anything about MS, and he said no, just proved to me he doesnt care to know about it. I am just someone who wants to be as informed as I can be, especially when it comes to my health, my body. From now on I will keep my findings to myself, everyone around me does not have to be informed also. Sounds to me like your doctor is the same way, he doesnt care to become more educated on MS, therefore finding a way to dismiss your symptoms. He is probably a great doctor when it comes to everyday common cold and stuff he deals with all the time, but not willing to take the time to learn what he needs to know to help you. YOU DEFINANTLY NEED A NEW DOCTOR. Don't give up on what you know is happening to you. Everyone else doesn't have to feel what you feel, they don't have to understand what you are going thru. But you do need an outlet to express your worries, your concerns....AND THIS IS A GOOD PLACE.
     Good Luck to you and Don't give up!!!!
                       Lisa

[cdvzfr]

Dont leave. Dont stop the search for your problem. I just went through what you are going through. I was ready to accept their therory of anxiety and depression. I was taking Lexapro 40 mg per day, daily for 2 years when out of the blue I ended up in the hospital with numbness in arm and a leg that I just dragged for days.  all tests came back normal and they still have no idead what it was. They suggested I go to a psychologist and take the Lexapro still.  Then, 2 months later, I am have nerve problems and eye problems. A fill-in doctor told me I definatly have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Ulnar Nerve damage and I should get nerve conduction testing dont.  When I went to my primary to get the tests scheduled he acussed me of being figtishus about my symptoms.  So, after everyone here told me to not stop the search, I have a new doctor I am going to today. A new Neuro that specializes in MS that will be doing the nerve testing.
I am hopeful that a set of new eyes and knowledge might help me find out if it is MS and if not what it is.  I am staying on the Lexapro because I do have a stressful life.  I am NOW sometimes anxious and depressed when the symptoms are happening. I am also trying some new program my husband ordered from the TV Midwest Center for Stress Anxiety, and Depression ( So far they are great) just in case this is the cause. BUT, I am still not going to give up searching for what causes these symptoms. I hope you do the same.
Rae

[TonkaSpirit]

Now I am angry & disgusted with the way Heart's doctor dismissed her symptoms as nothing or depression.  This is why so many of us want to give up sometimes, and sometimes we do, but we need each other to lift each other up again.  It should be a requirement for all doctors who think they can or cannot diagnose MS to check out this forum and read it and hear our stories and how abandoned we have been from their profession.  We may have lost one of our soldiers....all because she wasn't taken seriously.  What a waste.  I am so disappointed.............

[floridamom2]

I ditto what everyone here has already said.  I know first hand like alot of us here do that it is exhausting trying to live your life with all these symptoms and also try to find a doctor who takes you seriously and does not just take the easy way out and prescribe antidepressants.

I believe there is a time and place for those and I am actually on one BUT if you do not agree that it may be depression even just contributing to your symptoms then do not take his advice.  Get another opinion from a more qualified neurologist at an MS Center or a large teaching clinic or hospital like Cleveland Clinic, May, Shands, John Hopkins etc.  These doctors are more qualified to diagnose you than your doctor is and will probably help guide you in the right direction, MS or not.    

Please don't give up on us though!  We want to help you and support you in this struggle.  We are all in this shakey (shaky) boat together and only with support and encouragement will we be able to navigate these unfriendly waters!

I am praying you will return!!
Kristin

[meikman]

I think your Dr is just trying to cover all the bases.  In my understanding MS is difficult to Dx at best.  Some people, though rare, are able to go in and get Dx within weeks others  -years.   If the medicine doesn't help your symptoms then that will be documented.  As for the remark do you work outside the home maybe he just has so many patients that he can't remember who works and who doesn't.  When I was younger I had a Dr that kept up on all social aspects of her pts live but she only saw maybe 4 to 5 pts a day.  (Older woman that has since retired)

I finally found a Dr that appears to listen to me.  My opinion will change escpecially if I am having a bad day.  Before my current Dr all I would hear is "your fat", "your overweight"(even when I had an ear infection like being overweight caused the ear infection), "whats wrong do you want something to be wrong with you",  and a couple of my favorites "you are making this up because I ask they same question before and you gave me a different answers" (some Dr.s will ask the same thing over and over just in a different ways, but this time it was a different appt all together.)  then there was a remark "are you sure you don't have cancer because everyone in your family has it."  That guy needed smacked.

My current Dr the very first time I saw him he listened and said oh you have a neuropathy.  I was so ready for him if he had said any of the above remarks that I had heard over and over.  But instead he wanted to make sure that I wasn't diabetic which I am not then he did some other blood work I know one of them being for lupus.  Everything clear but at least these things have been ruled out.  When I ask my Dr if he thought that I was showing signs of MS.  His knee jerk reaction was "no".  but he wants me to keep record of every new symptoms but I have a family history my cousin has MS. She was DX quite quickly but was wheelchair bound soon after DX.
So as of now my primary Dr is following my symptoms mostly because I have no insurance and ask to be able to wait to go to the specialist.  I am hoping to get insurance soon.  Then I'll need to wait a year afterwards to cover the pre-excitting thing and then that no gauneertine.

Maybe if your Dr is being respectful and not just down right nasty as some can truely be when they don't believe you, he is just trying to cover all the bases.  You have been with your Dr for 10 years you must have really liked and trusted him and if you think he is being condesending call him out on it.  After seeing so many Dr.s and having so many be just nasty I have learn to speak up for myself.  Now I will say hay I hired you to assist me with my health problems not to be nasty if you choose not to help then I will have to choose not to pay.  I don't have insurance so I can use this one.

[grannyhotwheels]

Will you just look at all these wonderful people who truely care about you.  You can't let your friends down.  I know that the fighting to find out what's wrong is so hard.  Even though you don't think your depressed you probably are just a little.  The not knowing and now the not believing would get anyone down.

Please stay with us.  I know that we can all figure this out together.  Find yourself a good neurologist that specializes in MS.  I'm pretty sure if he/she is any kind of doctor at all they will know that something is really wrong with you. Giving up is not in our vocabulary around here and since your already aboard you don't have a choice but to keep on keeping on.lol  

We will be here for you no matter what so hang in there sweetie.  I know it's hard.  I had to fight for 3 years for a diagnosis and that included several doctors which some did'nt believe me either.  You just have to keep on searching until you find a doctor who will believe you and not tell you it's in your head.

I'll be praying,
Carol

[Quixotic1]

You may not leave!!  I had an intuition something bad might happen on the forum, so I checked in and found your message.  You have already become part of OUR heart and OUR home, so you need to stay with us and let us support you.  You are not crazy, imagining things, somaticizing, or anything like that.  It is so hard when a doctor that you felt so close to reveals that he basically knows nothing about your symptoms, about you or about your life.  How awful!  Dump him.  You need to find a new doc who will see YOU and listen to you!

The others have it right, and you have it backwards.  You leave the dodo and stay with your friends.  Please don't leave!  Quix

[mokibear]

Please listen to what everyone here has said. Don't go! Don't give up!!

I too am undiagnosed and know the frustration and anger you are feeling. I too lost my fight and the wonderful people here helped me to get it back. I was told by one internist that I needed to get a psyche assessment! Everyone here helped me get through it. Please let us help you.

I have found my fight again and you will too. Don't let this stop you from searching for answers. We will be here for you to help you through this. Please let us.

Moki

[vera from Hong Kong]

Never give up. Here I can find a hope for my son. Although we know that we can do nothing to my son but at least, here, a word, a blessing or a love would heal the wound and fill the empty of my heart.

Vera

[Momzilla]

Lisa~ Are you OK?  You're out there, aren't you?

Please let us know you're all right.  We're disappointed and angry, too.  We'll get you through this.  I promise!

Zilla*

[Heartshome]

Thanks, you're all so thoughtful, and your insight is appreciated. I have spoken to several people who think that I should give my doctor the benefit of the doubt before disgarding our relationship. Perhaps he is correct and I am depressed. I will see if this medication helps me. He's out of things to try.

I know that fatigue, mental confusion, joint aches, etc. can be a result of depression. I'm not sure about the ankle clonus, hyper-reflexes, and poor showing on the tandem walk, numbness, tingling, heavy legs, tripping, dropping things, hands/forearms that don't work, numb face/lips, dizzyness,etc. though.

However, my brain MRI (with/without contrast) is clear. That's good! But still can't figure out what is wrong with me. I have seen two neuros who said I have symptoms, but some people just have numbness/tingling and never know why.

I've been worked up for Lupus, and all the other obvious things. So....I guess it's just a waiting game to see if I improve, or worsen. If things flare up again, I'll try seeing a specialist, but if there's nothing to find, I don't want to keep wasting time and money on pointless tests.

[Super_sally888]

Am so glad you are still here.

Antidepressants do have their place in management of this disease.  Possibly won't hurt to give it a try.  BUT do be aware of side effects and if it doesn't help after a reasonable trial do stop them.

Whatever it is we have it is a waiting game.  And the waiting aint fun!  But then again having MS as a diagnosis isn't that hot either!  So doomed if we do and doomed if we don't.

Yes, the neuro is right.  Many people have weird sensory symptoms with no explanation (I realised that after some web searches).... But the other stuff isn't so clear....  

Drs want physical signs to match the symptoms we describe.  If they can't see physical signs (or enough of them) they don't have much to go on and so we wait.

Wait and see and hang around.  

Sally

[Sandpuff]

So glad to hear from you!  I check almost every day to see if you have posted.  My heart goes out to you as I have felt the same way.  I understand the not wanting to waste time and money.  It is so discouraging to go thru so many tests and not find out anything.  But it is still important to look into your symptoms.  I don't think it's a bad idea to try the antidepressants just so you can tell the doctor that you did what he asked.  Maybe after you try them and they don't help he (or another doctor) will be more inclined to look for other causes. I'm with Sally and encourage you to be aware of the side effects.  

I have done a lot of waiting.  I've gone thru periods of desperately wanting answers to times where I thought I was just fine and that my past symptoms were just some random thing.  But now I am worse off than I was before and know something is wrong.  I am waiting for a call from my doctor today to see where I go next.  Waiting is the hardest part.  My thoughts are with you and I wish I could be of more help.  You are not crazy and if you are feeling down at all it's most likely from the symptoms, not the other way around.  You are not alone.

Michelle

[sleepwanted]

Hi, I just found this site yesterday and it made me feel ten pounds lighter. My doctors are also telling me I'm obsessed with my health and are refusing to do anything but give pills. I need some advice from you guys if you have a moment. I have alot of things medically going wrong right now I'll try to keep it short and I'm curious what you guys would think?

Since I was very yound and to this day I am very clumsy I bump into walls etc a million times a day, burn myself, trip, lose my balance and have near fainting spells and about 10 or 15 successful ones (my elementry school report cards even say "she often bumps into walls", it must have been really noticeable)

I catch everything that everyone has, my immune system isn't good

I have had sleeping problems as far back as I can remember and have been looking for a fix since I was 19 years old, I am now 29. Sometimes I get 20 mins a night, no sleep or a few hours.

My memory is poor, my reflexes slow, I shake, I'll be holding a glass of water and it falls to the floor for no reason, it takes forever to learn things and I have trouble finding my words.

I am getting depressed because of this and my behaviour has changed

My back, neck hurt all the time

I have never ending headaches that usually sit about a 8 on 10 on a pain scale with the odd migraine and barely a moment with relief

My vision is getting worse when watching tv the words on the tv look double etc etc etc

I could keep going here, so you guessed it my doctor put me on so many antidepressants and other pills I was taking 17 pills a day, this is before and test were conducted and then asked me to admit myself to the psychiatric hospital and I did, so desperate for help (at this point I went a week with two hours of sleep and a massive headache) they had me so drugged up I couldnt walk or function it was sad really. So I asked to be discharged five days later.

I spend two months like a zombie wasting away in bed and went from 143 pounds to 125 pounds. Then I just got sick of being sick I started to do some research and I brought this to teh attention of my dr. I asked for an MRI as I have two close family members with MS and 2 with begnine brain tumors, he said NO. He also sent me to a counsellor at this time who told me I was obssessive compulsive, maybe I had ADD (put me on meds for this) etc etc. I was on so many meds I had to keep track of appointments and symptoms in a binder which I carried as the coctail of these pills: (I have to let you see what they had me on over the past 5 months its scary):

Mirtazapine, temazepam, sertraline, seroquel, mertazapine, fluoxetine, imovane, methoprazine, diazepan, adderal, clonazepam, trazodone, topimax,  (Valum, Prozac etc...)

The counsellor said I was obseesed with my binder. I was so frustrated I stopped writting in it and started missing appointments because i couldnt remember. Anyways, I went to my sleep doctor and asked for an mri, he was willing to do one to check for a tumor, they found a small sublenticular cyst(on the third ventricle of my brain), he had no idea what it was, googles the definition and says yah your fine anyways you look good Ill see you in January. ????

So now I'm back at my dr to give me an MRI to rule out MS and they look at me like I'm crazy, they ask, do you want to be sick??? Oh yes thats my dream. I'm so frustrated, I'm 29 I have a good education and had a good paying job that I had to take sick leave from 5 months ago so now I m making 40 % of my pay and Im still sick and now I'm broke and apparently I want to be sick as well. Does this sound like MS to you or anyother disease or issue you've hear of?

[sleepwanted]

Sorry I said I'd keep it short.... oops

[cjacks]

Wanting ,   So sorry to hear of all your troubles.   I am new to the forums so have little advise.  I do know that you have posted in a low visibility area of this site .. this may not get seen by many .  You may wish to pose your questions on the main list, then all the very wise people here will see it and be able to help.  Good luck            Hang in there..

[Heartshome]

Oh, thank you so much for your remarks. I have truly felt like maybe this IS all in my head, but I had a long talk with my mother yesterday (she's a RN) and she told me that the clonus, reflexes, etc. are true symptoms and of course it's not in my head. I guess I knew that, but doctor's seem to be able to cause you to doubt yourself. I think that I'll try someone else the next time I get worse. In the meantime, I will keep all of you in my prayers. Thanks again!

[Momzilla]

Yea!  I'm so glad you've got your mom, who happens to know a thing or two about medicine.  She's right about these undeniable signs.  The colnus, the reflexes.  Get another opinion.  If you are depressed, don't hesitate to take something for it.  But, oftentimes, I think long-term illness can lead to depression.  It's normal.  See what your mom thinks.

Anyway, yea, Mom, R.N.!    I hope you feel better!  Have a great holiday,

Momzilla*

[Sandpuff]

It helps so much to have family that supports you.  My family is being very supportive right now and they are worried about me and are disgusted with my family doctor who just prescribed antidepressants and told me to follow up in a month.  When I told my Dad how she treated me he wanted to have words with her, and he isn't a guy that ever gets angry!  

You are right about some of your symptoms not being from depression.  I know firsthand that doctors can make you feel like a moron and a hypochondriac.  But when you have strange symptoms or feel too sick to function sometimes you really want to know why!  

Take care :)

Michelle