I think I misled everyone.....

The doctor today said he thinks that my Symptoms could be a result of depression.
He never mentioned conversion disorder.

I asked about conversion disorder because I read about it.

Don't start the lynching yet.

The jury is still out on the lesions.  He's reviewing my MRI's.

Sorry for the mix up.

Kerri

[Sidesteps]

Kerri,

I am going to post this here instead of the other threads.  I don't think it matters if they said conversion disorder or depression. There have been too many of us, here in limboland, who had doctors insinuate it's pyschological. It doesn't matter what the name is, ya know?

When I first started having symptoms, I had to have a new doctor evaluate me because of insurance changes.  I had switched to a new clinic for nearly four years prior but had before that seen a well respected Nurse Practicioner out of her clinic. I thought she would be equally good. She wasn't. She discounted my symptoms and told me to ignore them. At some point, I assertively requested a referral to a Neurologist.

The first Neuro I saw noticed issues in my clinical examination told me about them but failed to write one down. All my tests can back within normal range but I figured out by the forum that he was looking in the wrong direction for me and when prompted with concerns about MS he looked at me stumped and told me that my muscle twitches and jerking were not typical. "I'm an atypical case."  Eventually, he indicated that my symptoms MAY be stress related but was willing to treat my twitches/jerking with seizure medicine.

When I noticed double vision and after a dead end with the MS specialist with no return call, I went back to my PCP and asked about thyroid issues (double vision is common in Graves.) I explained there is something going on with my right eye - my eyes are asymmetrical at times and it feels heavy and numb. She told me that she agreed it might be stress.

I hope to let you know at my new specialists appointment as I'm not a doctor but I think someone made some errors in not reviewing my MRI's thoroughly. They picked up on issues in my CT scan of areas of lower density or demyelination but I'm confident they missed lesions (both T2 and new gad enchanced) along with dirty white matter in my MRI's. I have NO IDEA how they did that with a lesion looking them square in the eye in a prime location. If anything it's a red flag to watch me.

Think about it for a second. If they are not wrong then who is? It's natural within the human race for you to believe that you are right, they are wrong. It's certainly difficult to face those you trust could have made a mistake. It's outside our natural tendencies to be self reflective. Doctors are told in school to display confidence, knowledge or they will lose their patience trust. Yeah well, if they take that too far... then they come across as self righteous and make their patience think it's all in their head.

Phooey on them... find another doctor.

I will say that I have been under significant amounts of stress in my past (I lost my 1st husband to sudden death 5 1/2 years ago) and my body did some weirds things then. I chalked it up to stress (strange huh?) I never went to the doctor regarding any of the symptoms except when I was nearly hospitalized with ischemic collitis attack. (They never figured out the cause, go figure.)  It took about a year or so but I started feeling better. I'm now suspicious that I've had attacks and have been ill for awhile. I think my internist was correct that my tolerance due to the issues I faced with my blood disease was high enough to not notice the difference. I do now. I am not well most days.

I think what I'm trying to say is... you are not alone. We are here for you. Believe in yourself. We believe in you and even if you dx isn't MS, we are STILL here. :)

(((hugs)))

[tingletingle]

Yes, sorry, I didn't read the start of the other post. Unfortunately, I only started at HVAC and worked down.

Better put the rope back in the shed!

Blessings
Alex

[kerrtelli]

Thanks

[Sidesteps]

Kerri,

I am going to post this here instead of the other threads.  I don't think it matters if they said conversion disorder or depression. There have been too many of us, here in limboland, who had doctors insinuate it's pyschological. It doesn't matter what the name is, ya know?

When I first started having symptoms, I had to have a new doctor evaluate me because of insurance changes.  I had switched to a new clinic for nearly four years prior but had before that seen a well respected Nurse Practicioner out of her clinic. I thought she would be equally good. She wasn't. She discounted my symptoms and told me to ignore them. At some point, I assertively requested a referral to a Neurologist.

The first Neuro I saw noticed issues in my clinical examination told me about them but failed to write one down. All my tests can back within normal range but I figured out by the forum that he was looking in the wrong direction for me and when prompted with concerns about MS he looked at me stumped and told me that my muscle twitches and jerking were not typical. "I'm an atypical case."  Eventually, he indicated that my symptoms MAY be stress related but was willing to treat my twitches/jerking with seizure medicine.

When I noticed double vision and after a dead end with the MS specialist with no return call, I went back to my PCP and asked about thyroid issues (double vision is common in Graves.) I explained there is something going on with my right eye - my eyes are asymmetrical at times and it feels heavy and numb. She told me that she agreed it might be stress.

I hope to let you know at my new specialists appointment as I'm not a doctor but I think someone made some errors in not reviewing my MRI's thoroughly. They picked up on issues in my CT scan of areas of lower density or demyelination but I'm confident they missed lesions (both T2 and new gad enchanced) along with dirty white matter in my MRI's. I have NO IDEA how they did that with a lesion looking them square in the eye in a prime location. If anything it's a red flag to watch me.

Think about it for a second. If they are not wrong then who is? It's natural within the human race for you to believe that you are right, they are wrong. It's certainly difficult to face those you trust could have made a mistake. It's outside our natural tendencies to be self reflective. Doctors are told in school to display confidence, knowledge or they will lose their patience trust. Yeah well, if they take that too far... then they come across as self righteous and make their patience think it's all in their head.

Phooey on them... find another doctor.

I will say that I have been under significant amounts of stress in my past (I lost my 1st husband to sudden death 5 1/2 years ago) and my body did some weirds things then. I chalked it up to stress (strange huh?) I never went to the doctor regarding any of the symptoms except when I was nearly hospitalized with ischemic collitis attack. (They never figured out the cause, go figure.)  It took about a year or so but I started feeling better. I'm now suspicious that I've had attacks and have been ill for awhile. I think my internist was correct that my tolerance due to the issues I faced with my blood disease was high enough to not notice the difference. I do now. I am not well most days.

I think what I'm trying to say is... you are not alone. We are here for you. Believe in yourself. We believe in you and even if you dx isn't MS, we are STILL here. :)

(((hugs)))

[kerrtelli]

Thank you so much fir your post.

I am past thinking it has anything to do with depression or anything psychological.
I think that's a cop out when they can't figure it out.

Incidentally i received the ms specialists notes in the mail today and in his last notes he stated that he thinks my risk for having ms is very low.

I am going to see this other neuro, see what he thinks of my scans and call it a day.

I have seen in so many posts how many of us are told to wait and see what happens.
I am thinking that may be what I have to do at this point.  I Have meds to control symptoms as best they can yet as i sit here I Hqve leg spasms.

I know it takes a long time for all of us and frankly I have only been dealing with this for six months which is like q minute in the lives of others who Hqve had to wit years.

I am grateful that I can still function on a daily basis.  At this point the spasms and little pains I feel are part of the norm and my funny walk is what people are used to.
I use my cane outside and that is okay.  I have to stop depending on doctors to keep me healthy and just do what I know what works for me like swimming, eating right and just enjoying my family.

I truly appreciate the support I receive on this forum and Ill never leave it.
If I don't go on every day and check on everyone i feel like something is missing.
That means something.  It means a lot more that the stupid doctor who really doesn't give a ****.

Keep the faith!  I know everything will happen in Gods time for me.  He just takes a lot longer I'd like.

Kerri