It's spring...back on the roller coaster.

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Just here to whine/vent and update my written record of mystery symptoms.  Feel free to ignore.

It's a very springlike March here in D.C. and over the past weekend, I lost almost all my hearing in my left ear, accompanied on and off by buzzing/ambient noise, and my Monday walk to work was very much a drunken stagger (except I wasn't drunk).  Back are some of the symptoms that I had suddenly in April 2010 and March 2011.  All day yesterday, I had vertigo so terrible it made me nauseated and I staggered around the office like a drunk most of the time.  Last year when this happened, these same symptoms were accompanied by the terrible pins-and-needles foot pains I had the year before, as well as numbness on the left side of my face, from scalp to neck.  I'm not having either of those problems now--just really annoying fasciculations that are migrating; all day yesterday my inside right thigh was visible twitching, and today it's my left triceps.  My vision is always a little screwy, so there's nothing new to record about that, but overall the feet are doing just fine (pain/numbness-wise).

I don't have MS according to the past two years' tests.  Which means I really shouldn't be writing this here, but this has become my online medical mystery sanctuary.  The timing of these symptoms and the fact that tree pollen is VERY high right now suggest they could be allergy-related, I suppose, but I don't know how muscle twitches could possibly be related to sinus/inner ear disturbances.

Last year, the conclusion of the zillion tests I had (MRIs--brain, l-, t-, c-spine; EEG; VER/BAER; NCV/EMG; blood tests for HIV, syphilis, Lyme, CBC, vitamin and mineral counts, testosterone and free testosterone, thyroid panel, blood sugar) all came back normal with a few small (I guess) exceptions: arthritis in my cervical spine (I'm 33!), a blurry right optic disc, and abnormally brisk knee-jerk reflexes (4/5+ with clonus).  Everyone has told me the same thing: relax; it's probably anxiety.  I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a full year now, and I'm medicated with zoloft (50mg), wellbutrin (150mg), klonopin (almost never now--just for sudden and severe panic attacks), and when I started getting a KILLER pain in my right eye last November (fitting the description of 'cluster headache'), my shrink put me on a tiny (25mg) dose of the antipsychotic Seroquel in case any of these symptoms are caused by a conversion disorder.  To my surprise and delight, I had my last eye attack (it felt like a very, very bad toothache dead in the middle of my eye and lasted about 90 minutes each time--totally destroyed my family's Thanksgiving) two days after I started taking Seroquel...I consider that a success, coincidence or not.

But I'm still losing my mind.  I am sitting at my desk at work and I should be working, but I'm distracted by spinning walls, an undulating floor, and a left upper arm that is flexing on its own at random intervals.  Can this be allergies?  Should I see an allergist?  Or an ENT?  Or just have my psychiatrist load me up with more drugs?  I can't call the neurologist back at this point--they told me they have my case on file and to contact them, but *only* if one of the three things happens: double vision that lasts for over a week, uninterrupted; incontinence; or an inability to walk or use one leg for at least one consecutive week.  Because of all the clean scans, I'm not "probable" anything (I've read a lot on here about people being diagnosed with probable MS), except I suspect my medical records have me listed as a probable nutcase.  I live in Washington, D.C.  Why can't I just enjoy the beautiful cherry blossoms like everyone else instead of being such a freakin' mess?

Yes.  I am feeling very sorry for myself today.  Yes, I am.

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Re: GAD, my official psych dx is major depression and GAD, but my doctor says I do not have bipolar disorder, but I *may* have bipolar II because I tend to have extended periods of extreme depression and then brief breaks during which I seem to be 'hypomanic'; I write (have a grad degree in creative writing) and paint almost uncontrollably because my imagination just goes wild with an overabundance of ideas for days, weeks, or sometimes months at a stretch, and then I just lose all motivation and disengage and want to sleep again.  But I don't have true mania--no hallucinations, psychoses, delusions of grandeur/invulnerability.

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Thanks, JJ.--your reply was very thorough and I really appreciate it.  A few things, though...

I've had major depression all my adolescent/adult life.  I was put on Prozac when I was 18 and took myself off, and then on Zoloft when I was about 25 and then weaned myself off of that after about six months.  I don't like being dependent on medications to feel like life is worth living.

Two years ago (April 4, 2010, to be exact), I was going for a walk and I took a step off a curb and literally thought that there had been an earthquake; the ground moved under me, I almost fell over, everything shook, and then I realized that nobody was freaking out--it was just me--and so it must have been in my head.  But the vertigo didn't wane at all.  My feet had been tingling, as would happen often when I would work out on an elliptical or stationary bike for a long time, but they almost immediately started hurting--literally like they were being pricked with needles.  Between the vertigo and the pain that ended up creeping halfway up my calves, I thought I may have had a stroke.  I was 31 at the time, working out several days a week, eating very healthfully, and on exactly zero medications.  I was in bed for four days because it felt like I was being electrocuted when I walked.

Long story short, lots of doctors, suggestions of MS, Lyme, etc., but labs revealed nothing.  They told me it was anxiety.  I had been having foot numbness on and off and blurry vision on and off since I was about 26/27 and was relieved it wasn't diabetes or MS, and just moved on.  It all got better in the early winter.

But I also got very depressed and started having panic attacks due to my working situation and also a very traumatic personal experience.  I finally went to a psychiatrist and she medicated me pretty heavily because of my state of mind.  That was February of last year.  In March, I was visiting my parents, took a step, and got that electrical pins-and-needles shock through my right foot when I set it down, and it lasted for days.  My vision was so poor I thought I'd probably have a car accident on the way home--it's hard to describe, but sometimes it's just unfocused/seemingly no depth perception, with a kind of gray veil that dulls everything except very bright lights.

My hands had been increasingly shaky and my left leg actually gave out on me while walking down a Metro escalator, so I went straight to my (new) GP and she suggested MS and ordered MRIs, etc.  The epic had begun again.  BUT this time I started using the MS symptom tracker on here (because pretty much all the symptoms matched).  When I could finally get an appointment with a neurologist, about three weeks later, I brought that printout and...they didn't seem to care.  They photocopied it, but just wanted an anecdotal history from me, and all that really seemed to have mattered in the end was the mostly clean labs.

You're right; I realized last summer that my wellbutrin dose was actually seriously contributing to my tremors (my hands shook so much at work sometimes I literally could not write, and it made my legs like jelly), so that dose was cut in half to 150mg.  My zoloft dose has been 1/2 a 50mg pill a day, which is very low, and I am almost done weaning myself off of it.  I was put on a tiny dose of Seroquel (25mg) last fall to potentially treat the most painful thing I've ever experienced, what I describe as a cluster headache that I got in my right eye all of November, and that pain went away two days after having started the Seroquel, so I am hesitant to stop taking it.  The bottom line is that I'm on a pretty high dose of wellbutrin (150), as low as possible dose of Seroquel, I only take a chip of a pill (to try and reduce any chance of withdrawal) of zoloft now until I run out, and I have been prescribed 30 klonopin a month for the past year and I have almost two months' worth in my pill bottles since I've probably only taken three or four pills in half pill increments over the past couple of months.  So I don't think I am (presently) overmedicated.

But I am getting anxious again.  Because my feet are tingling/numb again, I lost all the hearing in my left ear for several days last week as happened last year, I had vertigo for the same several days straight, I keep dragging the toes of my right feet (3/4 times a day) and tripping, my inability to concentrate has come back on and off, I almost never drive anymore because I never know if I'll suddenly not be able to see/my foot will go numb and I won't be able to feel the pedals (has happened a lot)/I'll be so dizzy I'll lose control of the car--to the point is, I have the exact same physical and cognitive issues now (on medication, very inactive, not very healthful diet, depressed) that I had two years ago when I wasn't taking a single pill of any kind, hardly ever drank, exercised regularly, and felt as happy about life as I really ever have as an adult.

I've decided to track my worst symptoms and symptom migrations here anecdotally rather than empirically on the symptom tracker because I've found doctors aren't responsive to the symptom trackers, anyway.  I gave it to my psychiatrist and she seemed really alarmed that I was tracking symptoms on a multiple sclerosis board when all lab tests so far have shown no signs of it--which left me with the impression she thinks I'm a hypochondriac or that I WANT MS, which is absolutely not the case.  But I do want some kind of verification that I'm not just physically healthy person whose brain is making things tingle and quake and shake and throb and stab and twitch at odd intervals, just for the fun of it.  And that's the feeling I have gotten from the neurologists I've seen.  "You're just anxious," they say.  "Try to relax.  Get more comfortable shoes.  Take a vacation.  Just be glad you don't have anything that's going to change your life."

Uh, OK.

[ArtistLike]

Thanks, JJ.--your reply was very thorough and I really appreciate it.  A few things, though...

I've had major depression all my adolescent/adult life.  I was put on Prozac when I was 18 and took myself off, and then on Zoloft when I was about 25 and then weaned myself off of that after about six months.  I don't like being dependent on medications to feel like life is worth living.

Two years ago (April 4, 2010, to be exact), I was going for a walk and I took a step off a curb and literally thought that there had been an earthquake; the ground moved under me, I almost fell over, everything shook, and then I realized that nobody was freaking out--it was just me--and so it must have been in my head.  But the vertigo didn't wane at all.  My feet had been tingling, as would happen often when I would work out on an elliptical or stationary bike for a long time, but they almost immediately started hurting--literally like they were being pricked with needles.  Between the vertigo and the pain that ended up creeping halfway up my calves, I thought I may have had a stroke.  I was 31 at the time, working out several days a week, eating very healthfully, and on exactly zero medications.  I was in bed for four days because it felt like I was being electrocuted when I walked.

Long story short, lots of doctors, suggestions of MS, Lyme, etc., but labs revealed nothing.  They told me it was anxiety.  I had been having foot numbness on and off and blurry vision on and off since I was about 26/27 and was relieved it wasn't diabetes or MS, and just moved on.  It all got better in the early winter.

But I also got very depressed and started having panic attacks due to my working situation and also a very traumatic personal experience.  I finally went to a psychiatrist and she medicated me pretty heavily because of my state of mind.  That was February of last year.  In March, I was visiting my parents, took a step, and got that electrical pins-and-needles shock through my right foot when I set it down, and it lasted for days.  My vision was so poor I thought I'd probably have a car accident on the way home--it's hard to describe, but sometimes it's just unfocused/seemingly no depth perception, with a kind of gray veil that dulls everything except very bright lights.

My hands had been increasingly shaky and my left leg actually gave out on me while walking down a Metro escalator, so I went straight to my (new) GP and she suggested MS and ordered MRIs, etc.  The epic had begun again.  BUT this time I started using the MS symptom tracker on here (because pretty much all the symptoms matched).  When I could finally get an appointment with a neurologist, about three weeks later, I brought that printout and...they didn't seem to care.  They photocopied it, but just wanted an anecdotal history from me, and all that really seemed to have mattered in the end was the mostly clean labs.

You're right; I realized last summer that my wellbutrin dose was actually seriously contributing to my tremors (my hands shook so much at work sometimes I literally could not write, and it made my legs like jelly), so that dose was cut in half to 150mg.  My zoloft dose has been 1/2 a 50mg pill a day, which is very low, and I am almost done weaning myself off of it.  I was put on a tiny dose of Seroquel (25mg) last fall to potentially treat the most painful thing I've ever experienced, what I describe as a cluster headache that I got in my right eye all of November, and that pain went away two days after having started the Seroquel, so I am hesitant to stop taking it.  The bottom line is that I'm on a pretty high dose of wellbutrin (150), as low as possible dose of Seroquel, I only take a chip of a pill (to try and reduce any chance of withdrawal) of zoloft now until I run out, and I have been prescribed 30 klonopin a month for the past year and I have almost two months' worth in my pill bottles since I've probably only taken three or four pills in half pill increments over the past couple of months.  So I don't think I am (presently) overmedicated.

But I am getting anxious again.  Because my feet are tingling/numb again, I lost all the hearing in my left ear for several days last week as happened last year, I had vertigo for the same several days straight, I keep dragging the toes of my right feet (3/4 times a day) and tripping, my inability to concentrate has come back on and off, I almost never drive anymore because I never know if I'll suddenly not be able to see/my foot will go numb and I won't be able to feel the pedals (has happened a lot)/I'll be so dizzy I'll lose control of the car--to the point is, I have the exact same physical and cognitive issues now (on medication, very inactive, not very healthful diet, depressed) that I had two years ago when I wasn't taking a single pill of any kind, hardly ever drank, exercised regularly, and felt as happy about life as I really ever have as an adult.

I've decided to track my worst symptoms and symptom migrations here anecdotally rather than empirically on the symptom tracker because I've found doctors aren't responsive to the symptom trackers, anyway.  I gave it to my psychiatrist and she seemed really alarmed that I was tracking symptoms on a multiple sclerosis board when all lab tests so far have shown no signs of it--which left me with the impression she thinks I'm a hypochondriac or that I WANT MS, which is absolutely not the case.  But I do want some kind of verification that I'm not just physically healthy person whose brain is making things tingle and quake and shake and throb and stab and twitch at odd intervals, just for the fun of it.  And that's the feeling I have gotten from the neurologists I've seen.  "You're just anxious," they say.  "Try to relax.  Get more comfortable shoes.  Take a vacation.  Just be glad you don't have anything that's going to change your life."

Uh, OK.

[supermum_ms]

I'd recommend you start a journal, which is available to you on your profile page, an easier way to keep track and its also much easier to find all your records again if its in the one convenient place :-)

Just a couple of things about Seroquel: The most common Seroquel side effects included:

Drowsiness -- in up to 53 percent of people
Dry mouth -- up to 44 percent of people  
High triglycerides -- up to 23 percent
Weight gain -- up to 23 percent
Headaches -- up to 21 percent
Agitation -- up to 20 percent
Dizziness -- up to 18 percent
High cholesterol -- up to 17 percent
Fatigue -- up to 11 percent
Weakness -- up to 10 percent
Constipation -- up to 10 percent.

Some other common side effects (occurring in 2 to 10 percent of people taking the drug) included:

Indigestion or heartburn
Nausea  
Vomiting
Increased appetite
Lethargy
Nasal congestion
Abdominal pain (stomach pain)
Back pain  
Shakiness (tremor)
Irritability
Joint pain  
Sore throat
Fever
Rapid heart rate (tachycardia)
Irritated or runny nose
Vision problems.

Just a couple of things about wellbutrin: The most common Wellburtrin side effects included:

Agitation -- up to 31.9 percent of people
Weight loss -- up to 28 percent of people  
Dry mouth -- up to 27.6 percent of people  
Constipation -- up to 26 percent of people
Headaches -- up to 25.7 percent of people
Nausea or vomiting -- up to 22.9 percent of people
Dizziness -- up to 22.3 percent of people
Increased sweating -- up to 22.3 percent of people
Shakiness (tremors) -- up to 21.1 percent of people
Insomnia -- up to 18.6 percent of people
Appetite loss -- up to 18.3 percent of people
Blurred vision -- up to 14.6 percent of people
A rapid heart rate (tachycardia) -- up to 10.8 percent of people
Confusion -- up to 8.4 percent of people
Hostility -- up to 5.6 percent of people
Irregular heart rhythms (arrhythmias) -- up to 5.3 percent of people
Hearing changes -- up to 5.3 percent of people.

Some other common side effects of Wellbutrin (occurring in 1 percent to 5 percent of people) include:

Menstrual problems
High blood pressure (hypertension)
Feelings of a rapidly or forcefully beating heart (palpitations)
Increased appetite
Indigestion
Arthritis
Anxiety
A decreased sex drive (libido)
Impotence Taste changes
Low blood pressure (hypotension)
Fainting.

Just a couple of things about Klonopic: The most common side effects of Klonopin included:

Drowsiness -- in up to 50 percent of people
Coordination problems -- up to 30 percent
Behavior problems -- up to 25 percent
Dizziness -- up to 12 percent
Upper respiratory tract infections (such as the common cold) -- up to 10 percent.

Other common side effects (occurring in 1 to 10 percent of people) included:

Speech problems
A decreased sex drive
Confusion
Sinus infections
An irritated or runny nose
Coughing
Sore throat
Fatigue
Painful menstrual cramps
Sexual problems

See http://depression.emedtv.com for more details about these or any other prescribed drugs eg Zoloft.

IMO it seems you have been prescribed 3 different antidepressant type drugs, plus you irregularly take klonopin for panic attacks as well. There is enough of the most common side affects to be asking questions, certainly enough to warrent a review of the prescription combination your taking.

I would think its unusual and possibly accessive for this combination of drugs for a GAD dx, more common for bipolar and other major depressive dx's. If I were you, i'd be looking at when your MS-like sx started and if there is any possibility that they coincide with starting one of these drugs or when an additional drug was added etc.

The treatment doesn't seem to be working and a review of your mediation would not be out of order, considering how you are still having considerable negative issues.

Cheers..........JJ

PS start a journal

[Sidesteps]

I dunno know if it is... I have some time experienced an itching/vibration feeling in certain areas when I worked out since I was younger. I think sometimes you can have an allergic reaction to exercise. I know weird huh? I do think that is common.

but...

Now, I get a tingling sensation (that feels like bugs popping out of my skin) in my lower extremities some times when I've worked out. I know that isn't normal. lol ~

[ArtistLike]

Went for a walk, about an hour out in the sun ~80 degrees.  Feet started stinging so I came home.  Three hours later both feet and hands are still tingling.  I haven't worked out for a long time, but I don't think this is a typical out-of-shape cardio effect, is it?

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(again, just updating for my own record-keeping purposes)

Tuesday 3/13: Still had vertigo, but only ~50% as severe as Monday's; major respiratory issues (presumably allergies)

Weds 3/14: Terrible allergies; called in sick to work; exhausted, slept all day

Thurs 3/15: Allergies still v bad, but went to work; vision pretty OK; balance and vertigo much improved.  Oddly, woke up in the middle of the night with a swollen, tender and red middle right finger.  (Probably injured it somehow while sleeping?)

Fri 3/16: Allergies a bit improved.  Noticed that I stumbled/dragged the toe of my right shoe several times throughout the day while walking around the office; also happened a few times walking to/from work this week...not sure if this is "foot drop" or just clumsiness; was a very frequent occurrence this time last year and throughout the summer but then ceased.  Right finger increasingly swollen/tender and still red/purple.

Fri 3/17 (morning): Just got out of the bath; feeling dizzy, both feet are very tingly; vision seems OK.  Right middle finger very deep red, noticeably but not shockingly swollen.  Left middle finger starting to feel tender as well and slightly stiff at first (uppermost) joint, but is not red or swollen (psychosomatic, maybe?).  Left inner elbow is sore when I bend it, which hasn't happened for a couple of months, and both of my shoulders are stiff.  Nevertheless, I'm planning to go to the gym for the first time in months because of maddening weight gain (have gone from 30" inseam to 32" (snug! agh!).  Feeling increasingly dizzy and shaky (trembling fingers/hands/neck) now; about to take an Allegra and half a Klonopin in case this is caused by allergies or anxiety over thinking too much about symptoms.

Allergy test panel (one of the few labs I haven't had done) scheduled for Friday, 03/23.

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Good luck tomorrow!!

[meg321]

Rants are good for us and thats what we are here for.  I could have written most of that if I could remember whats even wrong with me...could I use yours?

I was about ready to get help with my headaches but I needed a cardiac clearance...now I have a blockage of the bood flow to my heart, something like that.  So to the hosp tomorrow to get that checked out.

Thats why our heads are spinning...

hang in there,

meg