This isn't necessarily a question of any type but more so just in need of some support. This is the first time I have written anywhere on forums. I am a 24yr old female that has been going through numerous tests for over 2mnths now. I have had a MRI of my brain and C-spine to search for Multiple Sclerosis lesions. We have not yet found any. I have a appt for a 3tesla MRI nest week as well as an EMG. I have been having tingling more so on the left extremities and tender bottoms of the feet. My Nuero ordered some lab work of which a positive ANA has came back. I know that ANA's can be false-positives and that you can not really count on that test alone. But with that being said, lupus is now in the questioning process I believe, seeing that this is a MS community I am sure that you are all aware of the anxiety, stress, and emotions that can happen with the testing of a disease. I have a supporting medical team behind me and a family as well. At the same time I feel so extremely overwhelmed and along. I have always been more of the pessimistic type and worrier. I am trying my hardest to stay positive but I feel myself slowing succumbing to my fears. At this point I have accepted that there is something wrong due to the nerve damage that I believe that I am starting to get. The positive ANA was hard but also a relief. Hoping that it may be a step in the direction to a diagnosis.
I recently graduated from college in Dec. and wanted to go on with grad, school. I have a boyfriend that I have been dating for almost 2yrs now and he graduates in May. He is searching for jobs and excited about the future (as he should). I can't help but feel that I am held back from the "unknown" at this point and don't want to hold him back or become anyone's burden. I have always been extremely healthy and been active. I havn't ran in months due to my symptoms which has always been my go to stress reliever. I have friends getting married and starting their wonderful lives and I feel like I'm in quick sand slowly sinking and watching everyone break free and move forward. I do not have insurance but am luck enough to be of Indian decent for which I receive medical treatment from. If this is indeed a disease that I will be living with I will have to remain in certain regions to obtain the healthcare of which I feel very very lucky to have. At the same time though my boyfriend and friends are all leaving. I do not mean for this to come off as a pity party for I know their are far worse things then either one of those diagnoses. I am just looking for some support and uplifting words form people who have been through this.
I completely understand how the whole diagnostic process feels. You know something isn't right. Part of you wants to know and another part doesn't.
I still don't know what is wrong with me. It could be MS or something else. I am so tired of doctor appointments and tests!
As I said, I am still going through all of this myself so I don't have much to offer except support and understanding. This is a great forum with lots of caring, nice, helpful people. Weekends are a bit slow, but I'm sure others will come along soon to say hello.
I am sending hugs and prayers your way. Take care and please do come back :)
Hi Bakea - Sorry that you're having a rough time. We've all been where you are and it isn't any fun.
Beyond the uncertainty, you're probably freaking out that it IS MS. Fret not. MS is not a death sentence, nor is it instant condemnation to life in a wheel chair. In fact, I had MS for 20 years before I knew I had it! It didn't slow me down then, and it hasn't really slowed me down in the 16 months since my diagnosis.
At 24 they will have caught it early. The many drug therapies available today would likely make your MS very manageable!
I realize the unknown is a huge obstacle and a scary one at that. However, if you are diagnosed with either MS or lupus, your life isn't over, you don't stop living ...you just adjust and keep on going. Go to grad school!!! Don't let your dreams be dashed my MS or lupus or whatever your final diagnosis is!!
We understand the "unknown" and the long diagnostic process and what a stain it is on a person and those around them. Have you talked with your boyfriend about how he feels about your undiagnosed condition? Perhaps you are worrying over nothing.
I'm not sure I was very "uplifting" but I am practical and very understanding after going through the diagnostic process for 4 years. Over that time, I earned another degreee, started a new career and was the most successful employee in my job category. So, don't put your life on hold, go for whatever it is you want!
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Thank you for your "practical" words, i like practical. Also thank you for the encouragement for Grad school. I am hoping to find some more answers to what this is hopefully in the next month which will hopefully make my final decision on school easier. From the sounds of it you are very successful and that's awesome! My boyfriend is very understanding and I have threw out the scenarios of if I were to be sick and couldn't work, would he be ok being the only income and things such as if I were unable to walk or go out and about to do things due to being sick. He always comes back with, "we will handle it when it comes and it not like tomorrow you are going to be bound to a wheelchair". I like his practical words as well. I guess my fear with that is that he is just saying this because he doesn't truly believe i am sick. As you all know, you get some weird looks when you talk about symptoms that you can only feel and no one sees. Thank you a million though for your input and I really think that I am going to use this place to as much as my advantage as I can. You all are great!
In life you have to live with unknowns and act as if. I have MS and stage III Cancer. I got really depressed and stuck, waiting for the other shoe to drop with the MS. The Cancer made me feel I have not a minute to waste. I just treat my life like I do not know the future because I do not know what will happen to me tomorrow.. People with MS have careers, get married, have kids, and have grandkids.
I am now painting fifty paintings for an art show. I ride horses in my free time. I do volunteer work for the MS Society. I also train service dogs. My husband loves me with MS and when I am bald and barfing from chemo.
It took two years before I was diagnosed with MS and six years before I was diagnosed with cancer. If I had stopped and waited I would have lost a lot of time.
I think you've received some pretty good advice and my imput follows along the same lines but i'm going to focus on one particular point that you've mentioned, because it could potentially be a problem, that requires more attention than its getting whilst the Dr's are trying to work it all out.
Quote: "I have a supporting medical team behind me and a family as well. At the same time I feel so extremely overwhelmed and along. I have always been more of the pessimistic type and worrier. I am trying my hardest to stay positive but I feel myself slowing succumbing to my fears. "
Its quite understandable for 'anyone' to experience anxiety or depression, when they don't have any answers for what's happening to them, equally understandable to experience anxiety and or depression, if they are dx'ed with a chronic medical condition like MS. If you are as you say "the pessimistic type and worrier", then this really does need some attention, regardless of if you do end up dx'ed with something like MS or not.
If anxiety is left to build, it isn't a good thing for the short or long term, so getting some help is the better option, than doing nothing and hoping it will sort itself out, because it usually doesn't go away on its own. It never hurts anyone to have more tools that helps protect their mental health, so please speak to someone about your fears, because it could be the key that really helps you down the road.
Everything you are going through is completely natural! There is no reason to think what you feel is anything but!
Your life can change in a heartbeat for the good or for the bad, this all can be very stressful and overwhelming. Your young, you have had a active healthy life and now things feel different and you undergoing tests that you never had to have.
I have been going through possible DX for 5 years now and it has been stressful. At times it is easier and other times not so much! Take one step at a time and if your boyfriend is the great guy he sounds like, you have no worries, anyone that cares enough about you or loves you will stand by you :)
Welcome to this board, some real great people here :)
Hi, and welcome. I can relate completely to your anxiety rigt now, as I am in the proces of looking for a diagnosis. I think JJ makes an excellent point on learning to manage anxiety. I also tend to lean on the pessimistic side, and this in itself became debilitating over the last month after a lesion was found as the culprit for my symptoms. I believe it's important to let yourself feel scared, sad, confused, all of those things, because we are human and those are natural responses. But when we start moving into panic, all things can get distorted. You're doing the right thing now by talking about it, taking comfort from the words of others who know how you feel and who are in a similar situation. I hope you keep communicating here when you need to connect with others for comfort. It is an invaluable resource!
Thank you all for all of your supportive words! I was definitely in a panic mode yesterday when I wrote my post. I am feeling better today and actually went on a run today of which I haven't in over 2 months! I guess i was scared it would really increase my symptoms and that made it more real to me. I said that that was enough today though and it felt great! I have been a regular runner since Middle School and has always been my go to. Thank you all again, I am so happy to have found this website and become apart of this wonderful community. You all are great!
This group is the best and are always happy to shore people up whenever they need a lift - so be sure to let us know what you need. They have all given you sage advice and I hope you can pick and choose some morsels from them.
In the meantime I want to share something a very wise friend - DJ - taught me a few years back. At the moment, it doesn't matter what others are going through and their experiences should never lessen what we are feeling. Each person's problems and concerns shoud be validated, no matter what.... So please ask away.
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