Not the dx I had hoped for

Hello friends,
I got a confirmation today that I do have lung cancer.  Bummer....I am so grateful for all of you out there in cyberspace! I will continue to lurk here, and probably write in my journal instead of posting since my focus now won't be about MS. I may go to Florida to a very well known cancer center there.  I have family I can rely on during the time I am there.  First I have to find out more about what I have.  How long has it been there?  What kind is it? What stage?  Is it anywhere else in my body?   Things like that.   So, all of my neurological symptoms are because of Paraneuroplastic syndrome I guess.  Did I spell that right, Quix?   Everything happens for a reason.  I don't know why this happened to me just now, but I will get my head together and have the right attitude at some point.
Love to all of you,
Mary Kay

[spastic]

Oh Sweetie, I am so, so, sorry...  This wasn't what any of us wanted to hear...  But, we will be here for you, Sweetie, just because you weren't dx'd with MS, once your here, your always part of this CyberFamily.  Besides Quix will come and hunt you down with her salad tongs.....This forum here is truly full of love and we all love you, Honey.  

I know your probably having a lot of different emotions right now, hang in there, okay?  We will be here day and night for you, I promise you that.  I am sending you many cyber hugs and lean on us if you need to.

Love Ya Bunches!!!

Ada

[essdipity]

I'm SO sorry about this diagnosis. It's the worst possible, I guess. We will be here for you regardless of what's wrong, so please don't even think of leaving. As you already know, we are a supportive bunch, and we don't stop, ever.

Your diagnosis of paraneoplastic syndrome is a rare one, but it's good for us to know that it does happen. At this time last year my neuro at the time had me tested for that, and it took a full month for the blood work to come back clear. That is scary for sure. We've also had one or two others for whom this was suspected.

From your earlier posts I gather that this outcome was a surprise to your neuro as well, and that the tumor was found during a thoracic MRI. That's certainly not good news no matter when in the process it comes, but I'm hoping and praying that for you it meant that the cancer is in an earlier stage.

Please do keep in touch with us and let us know how your treatment is going. A great many prayers will be flying to heaven for you.

ess

[Sunnytoday]

Mary kay,
Oh my.
I reached out and hugged the computer when I saw this post, without thinking. I really wanted to hug you, but that will have to do, I suppose. You know I'm here for you, don't you? cancer is no fun, but you can do this and it sounds like your family will be there for you which is the most important part of the fight. Where in FL exactly are you heading? Keep me updated, if you are close to me or our paths will cross I would love to meet you.
~Sunnytoday~

[LLWB]

I am so so sorry to hear your news. My heart is heavy for you. Know that all here don't want you to leave. You will have love and support from all here. This is the best forum I have found. Once you come here and make friends, we don't want to see you leave us. I am so glad you will have the support of friends and family. Getting the answers to the questions you posed will give you a much clearer picture of what treatment will give you the best results possible.  It will take awhile for you to digest this, along with a lot of tears in the process. This is natural, and a necessary step along this path. Remember that there is One who will be with you every step of the way.

Many hugs and prayers coming your way.
Maggie

[OperaMBA]

I am so sorry to hear this.

You are in my thought and in my prayers!

May God be with you.

Richard

[Janette2836]

I am sure you are overwhelmed with emotions right now!  Please know we are here for you - as friends & prayer warriors!  Take care of you!  Janette

[Momzilla]

I'm so sorry.  I know you were hoping and praying this wasn't your answer.  We all were.  I wish there was something we could do or say to undo it.  

I'm sure you are in a fog now, and wondering what to do next, and feeling all kinds of emotions I'm sure I couldn't understand unless faced with the same news.  Take the time you need, but know we are here.  Here, with you, and wishing there was something more we could do.

God's Peace,

Zilla*

[Lulu54]

Dear MaryKay,
Your news saddens my heart - I can only imagine how yours must feel.  Find yourself a team of doctors you trust and believe in and work with them to treat this demon.  Lung cancer is beatable, and I want you to be in the group that is strong and victorious.  Please keep us all posted and by all means use our shoulders to lean on.

My love to you and your family,
Laura/Lulu

[syndismilez]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

My heart is so heavy right now.  Tears.  

May God be with you and your family. He will
give you strength
Cyndi

[Amyloo]

I am so sorry MaryKay.  God will stand by you through this.  I am praying for you.  Amy

[Rena705]

This is unbelieveable news honey...it seems almost surreal, like being in a nightmare.  I am so sorry to hear about this and know that my thoughts are with you.  Like Lulu said, lung cancer is beatable and you seem like the type of woman that is going to fight like you have never fought before and you have to know that just because you don't have MS that we won't be here to back you up because we will...you are our friend honey...and friends don't just leave friends because of a difficulty in someones life...we are here for the duration, through thick and thin ok?  Please don't lose touch with us because we need you as you need us.

Lots of Hugs,
Rena

[sllowe]

Hi Mary Kay,

I will keep praying for you Mary.

I will pray that it is isolated and is nowhere else.

I will pray for your strength and endurance.

I will pray that your body responds to treatment.

I will pray this for you.

Love,
Shell

[doni54]

I am so sorry Mary Kay, but as LuLu says, it is beatable.  I had a family member with lung cancer, and she did fine and hasn't had any more problems for the last 20 yrs.

I'm sending you strength and love and many, many prayers. This family is here for you and always will be.  

May God wrap you in His loving arms and send His Angels to surround you with love protection, and comfort.

Love & Hugs
doni

[saveone]

Dear soul, my heart is breaking for you.  I have no words to articulate how special you are to me and others here on the board.  I offer you my love and prayers for you and your family.

I will pray without ceasing that you find enough strength, peace and grace though faith to carry you through this time of need.

You are always in my heart.

[Wobbly]

I'm sorry to hear such news, I'm glad you have family in Florida to help you with this.... my prayer are on the way ll.. and will be there for you all the way.  

Please stay in touch and let us know how things progress and we care alot about you and want to be here for you.

so, stay strong and Hugs Hugs Hugs...

wobbly
undx

[wishforchange]

You know you are with friends here.  Please look up all the cancer support networks you can find.  There is lot of information out there from people who've beaten the condition and want to share good treatments and doctors etc.  You are very intelligent and can sift out the real from the anecdotal.

You are doing the right thing getting more information.  Get help with dealing with the news too.  From us, from counsellors, from friends and family.  You suddenly have a giant unexptected portion on your plate, and it wasn't what you or any of us wanted for you.

Keep in mind, cancer is NOT what it once was.   It is the most researched and now understood area of medicine in ways inconceivable just a few years back.  People who were given devastating news in the past now find that they can be helped, treated, or even at the worst life prolonged and quality improved.  Your doctors may or may not know the latest.  You can help them, as can we.  Tell any of us if you are too tired to help yourself and we will do the legwork for you.  But first you need that precious information regarding the extent of the cancer.

I feel bad for you of course, but also strangely hopeful.  You have been caught in the process.  You didn't go on to have this diagnosis missed until a later stage.  Maybe it could have been caught earlier.  But you have arrived.

The battle of you life starts here, and you are more than woman enough to take it on, although you may not feel it.  You have unseen friends all over the globe on your side and here 24 hours to give you time and space to talk and cry or laugh or just ask something.  You know how good some people here are on research.  

I'm not around much right now, but am always here in the background, talking through PMs or reading some posts.  I am here for you any time you want to talk.  I may even be able to help you with information.  And if not me, choose any of us to share with, or all of us here on the forum.

I don't want you to leave us, you are with friends here.  Get all the support you need from all the sites and networks you need, but always know your friends are here, waiting, understanding whether you talk with us or not.  Yes this is an MS website, but all the regulars here have grown to understand that in name only it is such, it is a network of people who are united by caring for each other, be they with MS or not.  I'm sure the forum leaders will tell you very similar.

I have absolute faith in your strength, I know you from how you speak, how you are.  You're bigger than any diagnosis.  Don't ever forget that.  With us all you are beyond any harm in your body, we are all with you.  

Cry, be angry, be sad, be whatever you wish, and we will be right with you.  Just keep talking to us.  Love and support,

wish

[hbananas]

You're such a nice, giving person.  I'm sorry you have to go through this.  I hope and pray you find the very best treatment wherever you go.  We're all in your corner.

[Salamander2]

Remember...you are young and this is something that they are making great strides in treating.  FIGHT it, don't accept it.  You are stronger than this illness.

You have lots of people praying for you and you are in our thoughts even if you are not on the site.

Keep in touch.

Blessings,
Sally

[Sarahsmom46]

I am so very sad to hear it was lung cancer.  It must seem so surreal for you right now, everything you have to do and decisions that need to be made.  But, please know that we are all here for you and praying for you and knowing that you will beat this bad boy.  I will keep you in my thoughts and will check your journal frequently to see how you are doing.  You are such a tough lady, just remember that.   Take good care and remember that we care about you very much.

Hugs,

Julie

[Quixotic1]

Oh, my.....I am so sorry.  I had wished for many other things, but this is a demon you have encountered before in your family.  You are strong and we offer our strength to you, but you have to stay and share the burden with us.  We can talk to you via your journals, but also know that here on the forum is where your home is.  We can talk about anything.  We do care about you very very much and you'll always be a part of our family!  

Please look for the best centers and support networks that are out there!  You can beat this!   But, I still am so sad for you and what you are facing...Know that we will raise you up in our thoughts, prayers and meditations.  Our strength is yours whenever you need it.

Walk strong, dear friend.  And keep us posted.

Quix - Friend and Ally

[mary_kay]

How wonderful it is to have all of you encouraging me, sharing your confidence in me, and wanting me to stay with you.  I am so grateful.  My fellow teachers ( there are only 7 as I work in a very small rural school) basically have said the same things to me.  Three of them are cancer survivors themselves!  I am taking a few days to get through my pity party and talk to my Creator....I will get my attitude where it needs to be. Promise.  You are all the most wonderful, giving, and spiritual people.  You are a blessing to me and I thank you all so much.
Mary Kay

[Fluffysmom]

I have all the faith in the world that you are strong enough to face this diagnosis, and are strong enough to accept whatever it brings to you.

As strong as you are, remember that we are here to help you, listen, do research, send hugs and love, all that everyone else already said.  You are a part of our family, and will always be welcomed with open arms.  You can use a computer in Florida!

I'll be going to Boca Raton in a few months, so I'll be able to bring you some positive energy, even if I don't get close enough to give you an actual hug.  

I just remembered a movie I saw recently, Julia Sweeney's " And God said "HA!" or something like that; gives you a chance to laugh at cancer, and to cry, and laugh again.

I would like to continue to share in your laughter and tears, so please visit your cyberhome often, OK?

Hugs,

Kathy

[mokibear]

I'm so sad to hear about your diagnosis. I do agree with everyone though that you are strong and will fight this thing.

Remember to lean on us when ever you need to. We will always be here for you. Give yourself some time to digest everything but remember we are here for you.

Sending love, hugs and prayers
Moki

[GrannyJo6]

I am so sad for you! I don't know you as well as others do, but I'll echo what they say about sticking around! You can't just give us news like that and then disappear! We are all pulling for you and praying for you. Take some time to absorb what has happened and then fight like you have never fought before! You can do it!

[meg321]

I am so sorry about your cancer dx...but i feel very hopeful for you also...this is where good attitude helps so much. And they do great things now with cancer now,

will keep you in my prayers..

I wish you nothing but good ..meg

[Udkas]

Hi Mary Kay,
I am only new to this forum but have drawn so much support from caring people who take the time out to listen to my fears, frustrations, questions etc.

Support is such an important aspect of feeling better, most Doctors only deal with the symptoms and the disease not the emotional aspect of dealing with a serious illness/diagnosis. So this is where this forum comes in to play and allows us all to pray for each other, help each other through a bad day and answer questions, or allows us to have a cry.  This forum is good for our INNER HEALTH. I am sure you are classed as family by many on this forum.  Our cyber family.

Take care, I hope that it all works out for you, please stay on this forum as you are part of a big family now and in crisis families help each other and I am hoping that you can draw some strength and support from your cyber friends.

Cheers,
Udkas.
Saying prayers for you.

[tiffany515]

my dear Mary Kay.....you were one of the very first people here to welcome me to this forum, and I will forever hold you in my prayers.  My aunt, whom I am very close to, was dx'd with lung cancer last year.  She is still undergoing treatment, but hanging in there very well.  There is a lung cancer forum here on med help (you probably already know that) and I have encouraged her to join, for the very reason we are all here......to find hope through our illnesses.  who knows.....maybe she and you will end up cyberfriends through this tough time.  you can never have too many friends, and judging by all of these posts, I'd say you are a very blessed lady, indeed.  Keep your faith, and may blessings be poured upon you, as you go through this.  I will pray for that every day.  Love and hugs,
Tiffany

[mary_kay]

Thank you for your prayers and hugs!  I have not visited the LC forum yet.  I will explore it. I just know it has been so wonderful to have friends here.  It is overwhelming actually. We are all connected, and the responses here proves that, doesn't it?
Blessings to you and all of my cyber friends!
Mary Kay

[Heather3418]

I came on the Forum this morning and was hit in the stomach by your news.  Mary Kay are they sure?  How can they be sure without a biopsy?  I want to believe with all my heart that there must be some mistake.  This can't be.

Mary you have come to mean so much to us...you just can't leave the MS Forum.  You have to stay with us.  Please know that we kneel to pray for you, for your complete healing.  I know this is possible Mary Kay.  I just know it.

I know it's going to take you some time to digest this news, but may I offer my thoughts that you get a second opinion?  We all want this to be some mistake in diagnosis, as I am sure you do.

I pray that God will send his warring angels down from heaven to do battle for you, Mary Kay.  I send you love and light, while all of us hold you in our arms.

We love you Mary Kay.  Promise us that you will continue to post here and keep us updated when you feel up to it.  Please.  You are our friend and our sister....

Big, but Gentle Hugs,
Heather

[mary_kay]

Bless your heart!  Wouldn't it be great if the radiologist was wrong? Yes, I will get to the right treatment center.  I will get more tests to figure out the type, stage, and of course confirm the existence of cancer and then I plan to go to the Moffit Cancer Center in Tampa, FL (assuming my insurance is OK with that).
They can use the testing from up here as a starting point and go from there.  I am not leaving the forum.  No way.  I'm not ready to post much, but I will write in the journal as I need to. Believe me, I am extremely grateful for your friendship and cherish it so much.

[deborah0904]

Oh! I am so, so, sorry.  Mary Kay, you are in my prayers.  
On Monday I was given some very grim news.  I'm sad but I'm joyous.  I know where my strength comes from and it is from God.  I wrote 2 Corinthians 12:9 on a card and have placed it in front of me at work.  
"And he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for me: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
I put my name in there to read "My grace is sufficient for Deborah........ just to make it more personal.
I don't know what your belief is but I depend on God for everything because without HIM I am nothing nor, can I do anything.  I hope that you are able to depend on God for your battle that you are facing.
You are in my prayers.  I don't know you but I love you and am praying for you!!!!!

[young at heart]

MARY KAY,

I HAVE PUT OFF WRITING TO YOU.

SWEET HEART WHEN I READ YOUR POST,I SAT AND CRIED FOR HOURS.

YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS AND I AM A SURE BELEIVER OF PRAYERS,NEVER GIVE UP.

YOU HAVE BEEN EMBRACED WITH CYBER PRAYERS FROM ACROSS THIS NATION.I AM A FIRM BELEIVER THAT THE LORD IS HEARING OUR PRAYERS.

WE HAVE BECOME A CIRCLE OF ONE OF THE BEST CYBER FAMILIES ON EARTH,ALL FACED WITH DIVERSITIES OF DISABILITIES,AT THIS TIME WE ARE SAYING OUR PRAYERS FOR YOU AND THE LORD IS HEARING US.

MY STEP-MOTHER HAS BATTLED CANCER TWICE,ONCE MILD MELANOMA,THE SECOND CANCER IN HER LYMPHNOIDES,SHE HAD A RADICAL SURGERY,RADIATION AND A YEAR OF CHEMO SHOTS.I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SCAREY.

SWEETIE I DON'T INTEND TO FRIGHTEN YOU,HER DRS. GAVE HER 5% SURVIVAL RATE,AFTER A YEAR OF HECK,FAMILY SUPPORT,SHE DEFEATED THERE ODDS AND IS WITH US TODAY.

YOU HAVE OUR LOVE,SUPPORT AND PRAYERS,WE WILL BE YOUR STRENGTH,GIVE YOU STRENGTH.

YOU ARE OUR FAMILY,WHEN THIS IS ALL ABSORBED,PLEASE KEEP US IMFORMED.

SENDING YOU HUGS AND PRAYERS, A PRAYER CANDLE SITS ON MY MANTLE AND STAYS LIT FOR THE LORD TO WATCH OVER ALL OF US AND TO GIVE US STRENGTH,STRENGTH IN NUMBERS IS POWERFUL.

HUGS

T-LYNN

[Deb61]

I am very sorry to hear about this--I wish that it was a different diagnosis.  It would be wonderful if the radiologist was wrong.  

I'm sending you lots and hugs and prayers your way, sweetie.  Are you still working?

Deb