OT My dad has lung cancer...Sadness can't even describe me.

Hi Everyone-

I found out Monday night that my dad has probable lung cancer. He had a CT scan to see if there were changes in the way his lungs looked from 3 months ago. The scan came back showing 1 lung with a large spot and the other lung has several spots.

The radiologist told him its very probable lung cancer (something we have all worried about due to the 45+ years of chain smoking) and they were referring him to a pulmonologist to see what stage he is.

My dad has MS too and I guess that was the 1 thing I felt connected to him by. I didn't feel quite so alone in this disease knowing that he has had it for almost 30 yrs. It gave me hope knowing that he has had it for so long and it hasn't killed him. He has alot of pain and is pretty disabled, but tries to continue doing the things he loves.

I talked to him this morning and he is so down. He says he's tired of being in constant pain.He sounds so defeated.

He survived a heart attack in July and due to the Plavix he was taking to prevent blood clots, wasn't able to have his appendix removed when it was about to burst. He would have bled to death. If his appendix would have burst, he would have died from becoming septic.

They treated him with antibiotics until he was off the Plavix then did the appendectomy. I feel like he came thru all of these obstacles just to be told that he has cancer now.

I am devastated. I have this weird feeling that if he passes away, I will be left all alone with this disease..I know it sounds kinda crazy...I feel panicky, like what am I going to do? He is the only one who is close to me and understands what I am going thru in regards to MS.

He talked about what items of his he wants me and my sisters to have. It is so hard to hear hiim say these things. I cannot stop crying. I hope I don't relapse from all of this. I'm praying for strength and for peace for all of us.

Kristi

[Lulu54]

Kristi,
What horrible news for your father and you to receive - I am so sorry to hear about his cancer.  

The possibility of a relapse due to stress is real, so you must take care of  yourself while you take care of your dad.

It sounds like your dad is processing this news and is saying the things he feels he must say before he goes.  I hope you are able to gather the strength and quietly listen to him, support him, and create some lasting memories to give you comfort.

Again, I am so sorry to hear this news.

hugs, Lulu

[supermum_ms]

Dear Kristi,

I'm just so so sorry!

JJ

[figuerpa]

I am so sorry for the bad news. Just know taht we are all here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Paula

[Guitar_grrrl]

So sorry for the news.  
Big Hugs

[wiggles94]

Dear Kristi,
So sorry to hear about what you are going through with you dad.  Glad you could come here and write about it.  Hopefully it helps to know there are people here who care and understand about your MS.  Prayers for you and your family.

[Sparkysarah]

Hi Kristi

Life can be so tough when ongoing challenges are thrown our way and your Dad has had a tough time recently.  He sounds like a very strong person and a wonderful example to you. If he has lung cancer, and it sounds as if this is a strong possibility then this is very tough for you all.

I can only say to you that however hard it may be to face that fact that he is very ill none of us know how long we have in life, and you have hopefully some time ahead to still enjoy being with your Dad.  If he was taken suddenly by another heart attack then you would have no time to say goodbye and to prepare, so if your Dad wants to talk about this then it is important to let him and be brave.

You are in my prayers and please take great care of yourself so that you are able to enjoy the special times you have left with your father.

With love and big hugs

Sarah xxx

[COBOB]

Sorry to hear about this.

Bob

[linnieom]

:(  I am so sorry for what you and your dad are going through.  I will be thinking of your family and  put you in our next healing circle..blessings..love and light...Linda

[cainer]

Im so sorry thats terrible news -hopefully  he wont be in much pain- i had a brother younger than me- i had to bury he had pancriatic  cancer he didnt last 5 months- its awful to lose a loved one like that.   hugs

[meg321]

I am so sorry, i will sure keep you in my prayers.  And everyone here are always ready to offer support and advice.

It sounds like he doesnt yet know what stage he is in...he is not gone yet, Sweetie. But its is still very hard on you.

It seems that it is one thing after the other sometimes...

take care of yourself....

meg

[rendean]

Hi Kristi,

I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's new dx. I, too, was very close to my Dad and know the pain you  are going through. Take Sarah's advice about letting him talk about it. Yes, I know how uncomfortable it is because I did it and it was  worth every single second.

Let yourself grieve as well. My Dad actually helped me over some humps in my grieving even before he passed.

Sending comforting thoughts and hugs,
ren

[michelleislay]

kristi,

i am so sorry to hear your news.  such a hard, hard thing to have one of your family members fall so ill, i can't really begin to imagine all you are going through.  and then to have your emotions regarding your m.s. so tightly woven to your dad...this is a very hard road ahead of you that you are about to brave.  

sarah's advice is so wonderful...it is true that none of us know how much time we have in life, and as sad as it is to face this news with your dad, there is a silver lining amidst the grief of being able to maximize the time that you have left with him.

thinking of you,

xo michelle

[michelleric]

(((Kristi))),

I am so sorry to hear the sad news of your dad and his DX of lung cancer. You and your family are in my thought and prayers...
Michelle

[janbubears]

I am so so sorry to hear your dads diagnosis  my heart is with you all xxx hugs jan xx

[starryeyes1]

Everyone-

Thank you so much for the kind words. It makes me feel good to know that I have a place to go to talk about all of this and people here understand.

I will be seeing my dad this weekend. He lives about 5 hrs from here. Its been a while since I have seen him and I'm looking forward to it, altho I know it will be emotional.

Kristi

[willowwoman7]

I am so sorry to hear about your father. My father passed away 14 months ago from lung cancer. I spent the last week taking care of him and it was the most precious time I had with him. I will be praying for you and your father.

[jules2212]

Dear Kristi my thoughts are with u and ur family at this very difficult time.

I lost my father from cancer, so i know exactly what u all are going through.

May God , family and friends give u the strength to get u through the dark days ahead.

Please know that all your forum family will be praying for you all and we are all here for u if u need us.

Take Care and Be Well
Kindest Regards and ((((Hugs))))

Julie xxxx

[Quixotic1]

What a hard thting to hear and to be going through.  My thoughts will be with you and your family and I hope the best for you all.

Quix