Personality changes preceding MS flare ups

[Rod07969]

My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years.   In that time we have had two trying periods where she felt empty and unsatisfied in our relationship.   These periods lasted for a few months, each time through counseling, ending in a renewed relationship.   During the last three years she has been diagnosed with MS and also thyroid cancer.  she has been treated for the cancer and is in full recovery.  She is also managing the MS via medication and exercise and yoga.  I have been with her and stood by her side through it all or, no pun intended,  for better or worse.  

She now tells me again that she is not happy and feels empty in our relationship.  Thinking about our time together, it appears (through neurologist input and health history)  that every occurrence of this cycle was followed by a major health issue for her which  may have been related to MS flare ups, such as optic neuritis and acute pain and numbness in her hands as well as other issues.  Her MRI of the brain and spinal chord show numerous lesions that have occurred over time.  Is it possible that a change in her personality could be a precursor to an MS flare up?   Should she have another MRI to see if there is an active exasperation?  I love my wife very much but feel emotionally beat up.  

Sincerely

Dan

[PeninaD]

Not only can MS cause a person to become depressed (over having a chronic, life altering disease), but it can CAUSE depression itself.
By observing the cycle your wife displays, you may be able to get her MDs involved well before lesions cause damage, such as "black holes".

[HVAC]

I have had MS since I was two and depression that whole time. It is possible it could be the MS since MS effects the brain it can effect the mood. The thyroid would be a likely culprit especially if she had to have hers removed and was on thyroid medication. One of the first things they look at if you have mood problems is your thyroid. I have both MS and Ovarian Cancer. I get moody I am not feeling well. I do not realize it. I went to a counselor for five years after my diagnosis of MS. I felt my illnesses put an unnecessary strain on my husband and our finances. I felt guilty.

Illness puts a strain on relationships. For me it is a feeling of loss of power over my life. Sometimes I feel like a small child again and I do not like it. Before I got diagnosed with MS and Cancer I worked now I can't.

If you say you think the MS is effecting her mood she may not see it and get angrier. I do not know what to tell you. I learned a long time ago I am responsible for the way I feel. No one can make me feel good or bad. How I feel is how I feel.

You are a good guy for sticking it out. You should not let it make you feel beat up. My husband tells me when my behavior upsets him and I try to stop. I can't control how I feel but I can control what I say or do. Sometimes words can hurt. I learned a long time ago not to say things I can't take back.

Like recently my husband let me know how my anger about my Cancer effected him. I realized how much my anger was hurting my relationships. Even my depression hurts others because I am hard to be around. Once I realized this I work harder at letting go of my anger. Unfortunately I had to get mad one to many times and see how I effected others. I felt bad for a week for blowing up at the nurse at my Neurologist. She didn't do anything to me. I was frustrated because I got switched from my doctor to the Nurse Practitioner. Even justifiable anger is not justified. Half the time I did not even know why I was mad. It took a lot of counseling.

Alex