Ridiculously funny things we've said to our doctors...
And wondered why we said it afterwards.
I was just reading Alex's post about her crummy Post-MS dx neruo visit and one of the responses struck me as humurous. It was a response made to the doctor about being too busy to go looking for referral paperwork. I thought I'd share my little somewhat embarrassing remark with you guys.
I was nearing the end of a clinical trial and was having my "wrap up" consultation with the study neurologist. The whole experience turned out to be exhausing and not that pleasant. So anyway this neuro was going on and on about this and that and all the while I was getting more frustrated and confused with what he was trying to convey exactly. He got to the part about how important exercise is. OK, fine I get that. But then he said "you have to lose weight. You know you probably have stuff being brought into your office, but DON"T EAT IT!" Without thinking before opening my mouth I said "yah, well you need to buy new shoes. Your's look like they are at least 20 years old". My husband who was there with me was mortified. No one said a word. Then I started cracking up and apologized and said his shoes were fine, which they weren't but that was beside the point. Geez, what an embarrassing thing to do. I blamed it on the lesions.
OK, does anyone else have a funny story to tell or am I the only crazy lady here who gets ticked of and spouts off without thinking?
I'm sure I've got a funny story tucked away in my memory banks, but all I can remember right now is something wicked mean that I said, more than embarrassing, so I'll leave that in my memory banks. After that I made a real effort to choose my words carefully, but it doesn't always work.
Let's just say that I've spouted off more than once, some nutty remarks that I always hoped didn't make it into my chart notes. :o)
The only one I can think of to share was during the birth of my son - first baby - when I seriously told my DH to take me home and that I would come back "tomorrow" to finish this. I was out of my mind then, obviously. :-)
My husband has "smarter than a 5th grader" on the tv right now and I was feeling pretty smug when I looked up, saw the math question and answered "41." feeling even more smug when the guess Sugar Ray Leonard said the answer was 32. Guess who was right? Yes,I'm not smarter than a 5th grader, at least tonight. The boxer who has been punched one too many times in the head has a better brain than me. Maybe its time for my cog testing?
OK you guys, I am really embarrassed now. I can't be the only one here who has done such a silly thing.
How about this: What is the funniest thing you "wanted" to say to your docotor but didin't? Or maybe it was just a joke you came up with between you. I know there has to be more funny stories out there.
Lulu, I loved you wanting to come back later to finish off her labor. How classic.
Yeah Julie, Maybe only you and I are the sole confessors here...... I know recently with all of my doctors I don't keep quiet and listen to them and let them take the lead. My mouth just engages into gear and I have trouble stopping even though my brain is screaming at me to shut up. I need to work on that skill....... maybe they have something important to say! LOL
I recall my PCP telling me one time to "I would like you to sit quietly and listen to what I have to say". Those words ring in my ears years after she said it. Now, everytime I see her, I am the ever duitiful patient and "sit quietly and listen". Wish I could adopt that with the rest of my doctors.
Do you think there is a 12-Step program for people like us Lu?
Neuro was talking to me about DMD and the various types you know the routine, and I sorted of switched off after a while, looking round his office, trying to take a peep at the compter screen to see what he was writing about me, so he's there typing away banging on about do this do that and I'm said there nodding my head - then out popped, have you ever tasted Foie gras?? The look on his face was a picture, he was mortified. I just said oops another MS moment :))
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the shoe comment!!!!! I think it was great and don't blame it on the lesions. ("Don't Blame It On The Lesions"...sounds like a good book title).
Recently I was at the CC due to come episodes I've been having, after having been to the ER several times, the neuro twice, my PCP twice...bla, bla, bla...and at all those visits having to go over EVERYTHING each time. So, at the CC I had to speak to a intern working with my rheumy, had to go over my ENTIRE history with him...I know, I know, he needs to learn but I am in a crisis here...so he is going over my history, we finally get to what has been happening recently and I get side tracked by his questions...and brain fog...he then says, "What next?"
Thinking he meant, "What do we do next?" rather than "What happened next?" I heard "What next?" and my evil horns grew out of my head, I got a bit nasty and said, "I don't know. YOU tell me!!"
The look on his face made me realize I had been mistaken. Oops. "Oh, you meant the next thing that happened. Sorry." He did say, "That's okay," and gently tapped my leg. My husband rubbed my arm. Then I cried. It has been years since I cried at a doctor's visit. I was truly mortified.
If anything, I taught this young doctor to tread lightly with a chronically ill woman with a loooong medical history.
Here's a funny story...One time at the CC, during one of my first appointments with my rheumy, he was typing away on the keyboard, which he always does after we have talked...nice to have him do that when we are done talking rather than during.
Anyway, there was a long silence aside from the tap of the keys and clicks of the mouse, so I just blurted out, "You're playing solitaire, aren't you?" He has a good sense of humor.
I think the funniest thing I ever said to my neuro team was after the 4 days of solumedrol drips that made me feel just horrible, stiff, sweaty and mean, my neuro blithely asked if I felt much better.
I blurted out that instead of those steroids they just should have given me "the good stuff" they give the baseball players, because they felt great and stronger afterward. I was referring of course to anabolic steroids. I started laughing. My Neuro got very red in the face and said something to the effect of "We don't do THAT here!" She was rather mad and insulted obviously not seeing the humor in it. I just started laughing. Of course I was only HALF joking. Call it 'roid rage?
I love all your stories...I knew me and Lu weren't the only ones.
But one more came to mind and I just HAD to share it.
When I was in the hospital last month with a relapse and after 2 days of steroids, I was having some problems with going to the bathroom. The nurse ordered up 3 little cups of prune juice. Somehow the dietary section mixed up the order and sent 7-8 cups of prune jice. The neuro came in to do his rounds and noticed all the cups of prune juice and said "what is up with all the prune juice". I didn't even hesitate to snap back "I'm having a party want to join me"? The nurse told me later that she had to step outside my room as she was about to laugh hysterically. The nurses all know this neuro and I also had a history with him before I fired him. I thought the prune juice would do him some good since he was so full of you know what.
I didn't blame it on the lesions this time, I blamed it on the steroids.
I don't recall any good ones on my part, but my husband said something to my neuro that annoyed me a lot in the moment, now I just chuckle.
It was my very first meeting with my neuro, the meeting at which my MS dx was confirmed, which I was fully expecting given the on-call neuro already told me that's what he thought three weeks before, and had already treated me with steroids for a major relapse.
So the neuro is talking about how it's important to take care of my overall health, and that things may happen unrelated to my MS and not to overlook these things assuming everything is due to MS (I'm paraphrasing here). Anyway I'm listening and nodding and thinking in my head, "I can't believe this is actually happening, I actually have *#@%-ing MS", when my husband pipes up and says, in his most sarcastic tone: "Um, don't worry, I think she knows enough not to be calling you every time she catches a cold."
My neuro just kept talking, didn't acknowledge the comment or visibly react to it at all. Other docs I've known would have been indignant. He is the most even-tempered, un-animated, hard to read doc I've ever dealt with.
Anyway, here I am trying to establish a relationship with this new doc, who was being totally professional, and my husband is not helping matters. I tried to give him the dirtiest look I could muster, but as he was sitting to my left, the position that was the worst for my full blown double vision, I think I looked more like the Cookie Monster with those googly eyes, and my annoyance was lost on him at that moment, though I think the resident sitting next to my neuro noticed. I gave him some 'feedback' after the appt. I realize he was as anxious as I was at that point, and he was being protective of me, thinking the doc was being patronizing, when I didn't think that at all.
I'm sure I've said silly/inappropriate/sarcastic/ridiculous things myself, just give me time and I'm sure I'll come up with something.
Great thread BTW! It's nice to start the day with some laughs.
I have been reading all of your posts and having some laughs but I could not remember anything I had done. Then tonight I was reading back through my journal (the one I kept in the beginning) and came across this.
It can't top yours but here it is. I copied and pasted from the journal.
"As if I don't have enough to contend with I now have hives. I have had them for approximately 2 weeks. It turns out it was not the Carafate I was taking for my stomach. Instead it is probably related to stress. I called the Clinic this morning because Robin had said if after discontinuing the Carafate the hives remained to call him. When I did he said I had to go to the emergency room or come to the clinic. It costs 500 dollars to walk into the emergency room, so to the clinic I went. When Robin said the hives might be related to stress I laughed. I said, "I may have cardiac problems, I do have blockages in my carotid arteries, I am anemic and I probably have MS. Why do you think I would have stress in my life?".
I have two dumb things I have said. I have had a lot of trouble with burning in my groin, pubic area etc., literally feels like it is on fire and I get very coy and embarrassed about it and because I am such good friends with my GP (like he comes to our house for dinner) I get a tad awkward when I have to talk about the private bits, so now I go to a lady for the girly things.
Anyway just recently when I was at my GP for an appointment I was trying to tell him that I was burning in my privates but instead of saying that I told him that I had a hot box.... (afterwards I felt so stupid and embarrased) not sure if the UK and USA translate the same as Aussie but I was basically telling my GP that I had sexy vagina so to speak!!!! My box was hot, hot, hot! :-)
Other funny was when i was having my MRI there was a mirror and I could see into the control tower (lol) and I could see them scurrying and writing stuff down, I said to my hubby later that there was 3 of them writing stuff down all busy and looking at a tv monitor, hubby said perhaps they were checking their lotto numbers. I did share that joke with my neuro and he laughed,,,
Ok... Here goes. Just to let you know, I am blonde :)
I was at my GPs office during a visit for some
girly problems about a year ago. One on his questions
was about birth control. I was not on any pills so he asked
me what I was using. I immediately piped in and informed
him of my fiancé's hysterectomy.
The Dr. looked at me
with one eyebrow cocked up and stared at me
until I finally realized what I had said!!!
I started laughing while my face must have
turned bright red and corrected myself be saying I
I have since had my own hysterectomy and
probably won't have to worry about answering
that question wrong again!!!
OK, this one does not display my brilliance, but that of my MS neuro's nurse practitioner. At my last visit, he was dictating his notes into his digital recorder right there in front of me, and when he got to something that must be pretty boilerplate and that he has dictated a million times, he sounded just like that old FedEx commercial. Something like "patient was alert, awake, verbal..........." I had a terrible time not giggling. It was so fast I couldn't understand it, but I'll bet the transcriptionist heard the first word and inserted something with a function key.
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