THE DX IS IN!!!!

[spitfire989]

Well, the news is in.---My Dr called me on my C-phone to tell me the results from my recent Lp are in and that he wanted me to come into the office to "discuss" the results.-----Let me start out by saying "What a nerve wracking drive that was"!!!---Ok, well the long of the short is the results were Positive.--  3 bands.----Apparently I was "too" positive in "too many areas".---Apparently as he "stated",--he suspected it would be positive,--and said that, because based on my recent MRI's, is the reason he wanted me to have the LP as it was.---To "confirm" his suspicion.----Well, this is a " KIck in the ***"!!!!---I don't know what feeling to have just yet!---And hopefully that is'nt bad.  I don't know whether to cry or what!!!------Well, to Quix, Lori and all the others that "know" and responded recently to one of my posts, regarding how Shi@#& my mother treats me---THIS OUGHT TO JUST MAKE HER SO DAMN HAPPY!!!!------If she treated me like **** before---and told me what a failure/burden I was before---I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT SHE'LL CALL OR SAY TO ME NOW!!!!--------------------Well, I wanted to share this news with you guys cuz it's been you guys that have been there for me WAY MORE THEN MY FAMILY!!!---Well, as I said, I don't know what to think right now.------------But thanks for being there for me guys.-----------------------

[spitfire989]

Thanks for getting back to me.___Yes in a way it's a shock to get the Dx, but in the same sense I kinda knew it would, (even my dr did), and you kinda feel a sense of calm cuz now ya got a name for all the **** that was going on in your body.----Please don't fear the LP!~~~~I too was afraid to have it done, but now that it's over I realized how easy the test was and that I got all worked up over nothing.----I had no problems with the test, or the dreaded headache afterwards (which I did'nt get).----The test took about 30 minutes, and the Dr's explained VERY THOUROGHLY the steps that they would do, and what to expect.---And that helped alot.--And like I said, the test was fine.   NO PAIN, DISCOMFORT OR ANYTHING!!!~~~I can comfortably said the Evoked tests my dr ordered were more painful then the LP!!!!---So, please try not to worry about the test.---And hopefully with it it will give you answers   either the "yay" or "nay.----But either way keep all of us posted.----When is your test scheduled for?~~~~~~Thanks again.

[spitfire989]

Thanks for getting back to me.---Yes, the "results" from the Lp came back quick, but my Neuro told me that he kinda knew it would , and really only ordered it as a "confirmation".~~He said, he suspected it was MS anyhow based on my symptoms and tests he had ordered previously.~~~~Anyhoot, "Yes" it is a weird sense that you got a DX.  It's like you said, NOW you have a reason for all the **** that was going on in your body~~~but yet, your left with "NOW WHAT"!!!~~~~I told a friend the other day, I think I'd rather have cancer,   cuz at least they have a "cure" for that, and you can do this and that to make it "go away".~~~But, MS is with you  EVERY day reminding you IT'S THERE! And WILL alter you and your life forever.~~~And yes, I agree to "shy away" from those that appear to bring me down.---I will say this though,  after I told my mother the results, then she seemed to do a 180 and was very understanding, supportive and rightfully scared.---So, we'll see if that/ they (the feelings) remain.---In my heart of hearts, I think they will, because I know she does love/care for me, and knows that this Dx is going to do alot to me/ my life.  And I'm sure, as a parent myself, ya never want something like this to happen to your child.----So, as I said, we'll see.---As for your question of ---am I ready to be added to the DX'd list---Yes.----And I will submit it in a bit.---Ok, Quiz, thanks again for ALL your advise and guidance---YOUR GOD SENT TO ALL OF US!!!!

[Quixotic1]

Hey, wow!  That seems sudden, but was obviously due.  Everyone has given you good advice.  

I felt satisfied and vindicated after my diagnosis.  For me it was therapuetic to tell my family that there was a reason for my severe fatigue and heat intolerance (my elderly parent need the house near 80 degrees!!)  Then, the dew was off the rose and I was mightily angry.  I was already felled by the vertigo and MS just seemed like insult on injury.  I took about a year to come to terms with having MS.  And I had several swings into more severe depression with it.

You will likely deal with this blow in the same way you have dealt with other great changes and stressors in your life.  If you weathered them well, then you will weather this well too.  If you needed some help - either med or counseling - then make plans for that now.

I have an outstanding clinical psychologist who helped me through my issues with my father.  He told me that I couldn't expect my father to begin liking me any better this late in life, so to stop including that in my goals.  That was a helpful piece of advice.

DeeBee is correct - limit your contact with those who tear you down.  Chose those who support and love you for who you are.  Toxic people in our lives just suck the soul out of us.  We do best to avoid them.

You are a part of us now.

Quix

[doublevision1]

I don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said here, just that I'm sorry you are going through this, but glad that you at least have an answer.  it's strange how something so frightening can still give you some peace of mind.  At least now you KNOW.  This will be an intensely emotional time for you, as the others here have stated.  We've all experienced it, in one way or another.

I hope you have access to good medical care, and that you are happy with the medical team that is helping you though this.  Right now you need information, support, and a little time (don't wait too long) to make some serious treatment decisions.  I hope that you find some useful information within the posts on this forum.  I certainly did, and still do.  

Surround yourself with those who love, support and believe in you.  If those include blood ties, wonderful, but if not, turn to whomever you need who will lift you up, not tear you down.  You owe no obligation to share what you're going through to those who treat you shabbily, esp at a time in your life when you are least equipped to deal with such emotional harm inflicted by them.

Just do what you must to take care of you.

Peace.

~doublevision~

[sllowe]

Well there you go.  You are on your way! NOW, you can start treating this beast.

You, will do this.  

You are strong.  You do not need to justify, explain, convince anyone of what is or could be going on.  Oh, well, you do have to do so with us, lol, but you know who I mean...right?

I'm sorry for the MS dx, but I'm glad you can now move forward into your future.  When those around you see you standing on your own two feet despite their attempts to take them out from under you, they will eventually have to look at themselves.  And, if they don't ever figure out what they have done to your spirts, then so be it. It's their problem now. Not yours.

Though you will have more battles with your body and mind, have no fear (under dog is here - ha/ha kidding), you are in the beginning stages of healing. Yes, healing!  Knowledge is power, and you will take your own course with this now.  

Seriously now honey, it's how you response to this now, and I know you've learned a lot through this journey and have the skills, and mindset to handle what comes next.

This ship is yours baby!
((((((BIG BIG Proud of YOU Hugs!!!)))))
-Shell

[Lulu54]

Hi Spitfire,
Welcome to the other side of the mountain - feels pretty scary now that you're here, right?  I know that feeling all too well.  You are going to be caught off guard for a while if you are anything like the rest of us - the satisfaction of having a dx is overshadowed a lot by actually having a name to put on this monster in your body.

we've talked before about your family and the c ra p your mom dumps on you.  When you mentioned how much you like and trust your doctor, a light went off for me - can you talk to him about your family relations?  He just might be the person to help guide you to the resources you need to break this cycle of abuse.  You're probably right in that its not going to get better - it will only get worse if she senses you are weaker now with the MS in you.  Predators always pick on the weakest ones and you my friend my be the bigger target now.  Please be proactive and do something about this behavior now - don't wait for it to get worse.


I'm sorry you have MS - take care, ok?   Lulu

[spitfire989]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!---I'll need it.-----Yes, this is gonna be tough, But at least I have you guys to turn to cuz my support system on the "Outside" is NON-EXISTANT!!!!----   But, I'll get through. My best friend named me Spitfire for a reason I guess.----Well thanks again, and I'll keep ya posted.

[spitfire989]

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT!---Yeah, it'll definately be a change of way of life.---And the only thing that will get me through what ever step I'm going through will be you guys.--My support system on the outside is non-existant!!!  As for your pending LP---don't worry about it. Mine was easy and NO headache after!!!------My spinal did'nt show anything MS related either. Just my brain one. Plus, the LP was positive and I was positive on the ON test.---------But keep us/me posted on how your doing. And I'll do the same.---Again thank you for the support!!! It means alot to me!

[spitfire989]

Thank you for the encouragement.---It definatley is a blow.--Kinda like Merry X(MS)!  NOT!!!----To answer your questions,---I have been having symptoms I would say off and on for years, BUT NEVER thought MS.---I would have headaches, being tired all the time, stumbling, just whatever.----So with the headaches, I just took Tylenol, being tired, I thought I was just working too much, stumbling-well I guess I "ignored".---But what took me to the Dr was the fact that NO matter what I did--the headaches NEVER went away!!!EVER!!!!----So, I decided to go to my Dr ( who is one of the Rare ones) who LISTENS very thoroughly to what you are "telling" him, and he's VERY thorough!! (Not to mention he's a good friend of mine), anyhoot, so he set me up for a Head/Spinal MRI. The Brain MRI came back with "multiple" lesions, in the Ventricular region.---The spinal did not show lesions, just that I had C3-7 degenerative damage and bone spurs.-----He then set me up for the Evoked potential tests which showed On.---He then set me up for the LP (which I was nervous about, but turned out to be a peice of cake)!  With no after headache!!!-----And that came back positive.----So, we will now figure out a plan of attack.----So, Yeah, you'll want a Dx, and as you said, It won't change your symptoms---but,---it'll at least give ya a name.--Plus ya can get a paln of attack tyo at least take the **** away.----Please keep me/us posted on how you are making out!!!! And I will do the same.------Talk to ya soon.

[spitfire989]

THANK YOU for your words of encouragement.---Yes, It IS a blow.---It;s kinda like Merry X(MS)!---And yes, I know I can turn to the forum for support.---And right now that means the world to me because as of right now THAT'S ALL I GOT FOR SUPPORT!!!!---I suppose in time I will get through it all.-----Thanks again.

[JonM]

Understand that right now you are in a much different emotional amd mental state.  Getting this diagnosis is a shock, it was for me and took me 4-6 months to come to terms with it.  Your whole life is going to change, your expectations, goals, plans, etc.  just remember that once you adjust (and you will adjust) that things will look a lot better and you'll start to feel more like your old self.  Let the grieveing process take its course and don't be afraid to ask the MD for some help.  I took an antidepressant for 6 months after I was DXd.  I've been DXd now for 2 years and I think I'm doing pretty darn good.

Hang in there!
Jon

[pennst8r]

I am so happy that you got answers fairly quickly (been looking for 2 years). As with everyone, I wish the results had been negative...but you really needed to know. I hope this opens some eyes in the people in your family.

Penn

[meg321]

Its hard for me to say im sorry, but I dont wish anything on anyone if they want it...in that case i am sorry..but I wouldd so like to have a diagnosis...I have all the symptoms anyway, just would like to have a name for it.

What is really comes down to is you do have the people in this forum and they are all so real and loving..it sure could be worse.

Keep us posted on what comes next.  I think i have to have the LP and I am terrified of it.
My spinal mri didnt really show anything.

hugs, meg

[Sarahsmom46]

Oh Spitfire, I am sad for you and happy for you at the same time.  Sad that you got  this dx and yet happy that you finally know what is wrong.  You have the power over how you want to handle this especially how it will be treated.  You have many decisions that need to be made.  Know that you can count on your forum family and friends to help you with whatever you need from us.  You can vent, ask questions about treatment options, or whatever you need and we will be there.  Try to keep focused on the priority and that is you right now.  You can deal with the other issues when you are ready.  

I am sorry you got this dx even if you were already expecting it, but you are a strong lady as demonstrated in the name you chose for your profile.  I wish you courage and confidence that you will get through this difficult time.  Remember that we are here for you.  

Julie

[buriedinfur]

That's an intense bit of emotion for sure. Adjusting and coming to terms will take some time, but there is that sense of validation I think on hearing that 'you aren't just imagining it' or whatever. All of a sudden you have something to nail to it. You can start heading in a direction.

On the other hand, it's scary. What does that mean? How will you do?

I hope that you are treated well and come up with a good treatment plan quickly. I hope that you have a support group there that you could join.

[Udkas]

Hi there,
thinking of you.  There must be some relief to know what is causing your problems and some fear, I am undiagnosed so I can't comment on what it must be like but I imagine it would be both oh holy **** I really do have a diagnosis!!! What now!

At least you know what you are dealing with and don't have to question your symptoms.  I hope you don't mind me asking (I tried to read on your journal but do you have any brain lesions?) or spinal?  Have you had symptoms for a long time? I am having a LP in a 4 weeks time and have had a clear MRI. Repeat MRI with contrast in a few weeks.  I want a diagnosis (I think).  Well it's not going to change my problems.

Take care, use your forum family to help you with this (blood is not always thicker than water)  I have a close friend that gives me the best emotional support and hubby but you need somewhere to vent thoughts and fears as Drs tend to treat symptoms but forget about our emotional needs.

Cheers,
Udkas.

[essdipity]

Hi there. I don't think we've talked yet, but no matter. I know what it's like to get the diagnosis news, and it can be a kick in the stomach, even if that's what you expected and deep down knew in advance. Now your life is changed forever, and it's a scary thing for sure.

Don't expect to digest this all at once. Many here know that if often goes in stages. Relief, in a way, since now this thing at least has a name, and the symptoms were not all in our heads. As we well knew! But anyway, you may have anger, you may feel sort of frozen and 'nothing,' you may feel a lot of things. Give yourself time. It's all okay.

As to your mother, if you think this will give her some sort of satisfaction, then don't be in any hurry to tell her. Who needs that kind of thing? Not you, not anyone. Instead, try to focus on taking back your power from her.  Don't let how she might feel or what she might say be so important, even in a negative way. You don't need all that energy draining away, when you could be using it to start healing yourself and coming to terms with this new chapter in your life.

Lean on this forum for support and positive vibes. And ask any MS questions that occur to you. We're here for you.

ess

[Janette2836]

I am glad that the waiting is over for you.  Sorry that this is so hard to hear  & adjust to.  I am undx'd so I have no clue how it feels but I wanted you to know that we are here for you & support you - we are your forum family!

Janette