The Problem Communicating With Some Neurologists

I bring this back periodically.  I hope the new people enjoy it and the oldies don't mind.

Okay, I woke up one morning and this played out in my mind.  WARNING -THE FOLLOWING IS BIZARRE AND TWISTED - READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!


Patient walks into neurologist's exam room and nurse asks, "Why are you here?"

Patient - "I've been diagnosed with ADS - Appendage Dropoff Syndrome."

Nurse, "Okay, the doctor will be in shortly."

Doctor - "Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pfufinek.  What can I do for you?"

P - "Well, I was diagnosed two months ago with ADS, but now my insurance has changed, and I'm worse, so I'm coming to you for care"

Dr. - "How was the diagnosis made?"

P - "Well, first my pinky and ring finger on the left fell off.  Then, a month later my left nostril fell off.  And shortly after that I lost my right earlobe."

Dr. - "I don't diagnnose ADS until 4 appendages have dropped off."

P - "Well, that is four, a nostril, an earlobe and 2 fingers!"

Dr. - "I would count the two adjacent fingers as one appendage."

P - "Well, okay, that's why I'm here.  Yesterday my right arm dropped off, and I'm really worried!  That makes 5 appendages, or four by your count.  Shouldn't I be on some Disease Modifying Drugs to slow all this down?"  The Patient lays the arm down on the doctor's desk.

The Doctor puts on gloves and distastfully sets it aside.  "Hmm...Does your urine glow in the dark?"

P -"No, but they said that only about 60% of patients' urine glowed in the dark."

Dr. - "I won't make the diagnosis without glowing urine.  Besides you're too old"

P - "But, there is no upper age limit.  Lots of people older than me have ADS.  I've already been diagnosed and I'm getting worse.  I'm desperate!  Every morning I count everything to see that it's all still there!"

Dr. - "Ahhhhh, I see....Do you have a history of anxiety?"

P - "Only since things started falling off on me."

Dr. - "I think you should have a full psychiatric evaluation. This all is just probably a conversion reaction.

P - A CONVERSION REACTION!!!!  MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!

Dr. - "Have you had all of the mimics excluded? "

P - "I think so, I was checked for Farm Equipment Accidents, Gangrene, Motorcycle Crashes, Recurrent Ninja Attacks, Machine Shop Malfunctions, and evidence of Werewolf Infestation.  And of  course, I was checked for Absentmindedness, but there was no evidence that I merely mislaid something and didn't notice."

Dr. - "Is that all?"

P - "I think so.  What about a DMD?"

DR. - Well, I don't think you're bad enough off yet to begin treatment. And there is no evidence that your disease is progressing.

P - What!!  MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!

Dr. -  "Any number of things could have caused that.  Sometimes it just happens"

P - I don't understand how you can say that.  Other people with less disease than I have get the DMD's.  That's the current recommendation.  How can you say I'm not "bad enough?"

Dr. - "You can still walk and have full full use of your left arm, except for the two fingers.  They really aren't that much help anyway.  But, you should be evaluated for Leprosy.  Many people don't know that this, too, can mimic ADS.  It's rare, but someday I will find a case.  I have a contact at a leper colony in Brazil."  The doctor walks to the door, "Nurse, Please quarantine our patient here and make preparations to ship him immediatley to Brazil."

The Patient is led away in shock and bewilderment.

Sound familiar to anyone?

Quixxle

[Lulu54]

I'm glad you dusted this one off - today's news from all the inept neuro's deserves a light hearted look at how this diagnosis process sometimes goes horribly wrong.  Thanks for bringing this up, but I'm still gathering some firewood.  

Actually, lots of wood!
Lu

[CareBayer]

Lol, thanks I needed to read that. Put a smile on my face.

[Sarahsmom46]

This is more awesome every time I read it.  Thanks for posting it again.

[rendean]

Excellent!

[essdipity]

Glad you revived this. Considering several threads recently, I was going to send you a note with this request. Thanx!

essie

[uk2]

This is so funny i just posted about why we cant start on meds even though we are getting worse fit the MS critia but negartive tests.

this is so how i feel the medical board go lol  (of course except my nice ENT)

very funny.

sam

[Eyesnlegs]

I just took a break as I am working at home today and it's 2:20 pm here in the UK - I've been writing some very boring stuff today (PhD navel gazing stuff) and I just wanted to say thanks so much for the laugh it was just what I needed  - it would be even funnier if it wasn't so close to the type of treatmet some of us have add.

Nonetheless, keep posting them and lets keep smiling

Pat
x

[Sunnytoday]

ahhh, this still makes me laugh!! :)
~Sunnytoday~

[Eyesnlegs]

I think I've done too much typing - I still keep hitting the wrong keys

:)

[goofysmom1]

That is fantastic!  And unfortunately so true...

Chrisy

[Wobbly]

things haven't changed much....hehehehe

[opie74]

This is funny for reason no.1.  It is true!

My experience last year was this way.  My "new neuro"  went right to the Dx.  Thank you Lord for good treatment!

[Quixotic1]

Do you know the definition of Omphaloskepsis?


******************

The practice of contemplating one's navel.

Quix

[Eyesnlegs]

Wow - I can now astound colleagues and friends with another term they have never heard of - maybe that's an MS symptom too.lol

I stll love the post and read it out to my other half last night it made him smile too as he has been travelling this route with me for more years tham we care to remember

Keep up your brilliant work here

Pat

[nette573]

This hit the spot!  Exactly how my appt went with ms specialist!  Love it!  Lynette