Tics possible seizures and just unexplained madness?
Hey guys I was wondering if there was anyone out there who could help, I've been experiencing the same group of symptoms for almost a year now with no joy from the DR. I was reffered to the wrong specialist (apparently) who diagnosed panic attacks and the Dr wanted me to have a second opinion at the seizure clinic which I haven't received yet.
I just feel like I'm now losing my mind with all of this activity, almost as if my brain is disintegrating away. I am losing my personality, I used to be very bubbly, happy and life loving but now I am having so many of these attacks that I'm either 'in' an attack, just had an attack or worried about the possibility of taking one.
They all start the same way, last the same amount of time - more or less and make me feel the same type of things.
First (my partner has told me) my mood will drop all of a sudden, he said that it 'changes' sometimes i can become very happy or excited but most of the time its a drop in mood.
Then I can become confused, not able to string sentences together, not able to follow conversation, easily distracted.
Then I start having sensory issues; I can't bear to have music on in the car if im out at the time, or the TV if im inside, I can't handle loud noises, too much talking - my brain can't seem to process anything quite fast enough, I start getting irritable, depressed or really angry.
These are never small feelings of anger or irritability, happiness or sadness - these feelings start of minute, almost un noticeable and then all of a sudden they are so strong they affect my breathing, it can feel like all of a sudden im the worst person in the world, my world is falling a part and I don't know what to do. I never know what to do with myself - if I come in and the TV is off I wont be able to turn it on because I will be so confused as to what my mind 'wants'.
This is about the 20th minute of attack that this starts.
I may start pacing or I may stay sitting and rock/fidget/sway - the tics will start after I've started pacing or that - they are where my body all of a sudden jerks in a specific part - its usually always the right side, right leg or right arm. There will be an intense feeling in my stomach and a pressure on the balls of my feet then my legs will jump up (as if I have had an electric shock) - they will continue, Im still in and out mostly. There are times when I know exactly where I am but most times I have no memory after the tics - they get worse and more frequent and more...scary.
On the times that I have tried to walk or become mobile afterwords - my left leg doesn't seem to work properly. I look like im limping/dragging my foot and this will last anywhere from a short period of time to a long period of time
I will get patchy goosebumps on my right arm all of a sudden lasting a few seconds when I have come to, I will feel like my skin is almost crawling and i look down I have funny shaped patches of goosebumps on my right arm.
Mobility is severely impaired a lot during and after, two nights ago I had the worst attack i've ever had and I couldn't stand up from the couch without becoming light headed, let the dogs outside and walk up or downstairs. I had to lean all my weight on my left side while pulling myself up the banister and walking down is worse - its almost as if I have no control over the muscles - I can't engage them to work properly.
After the attack I can be ok, but sometimes I can be really tired. All of a sudden while im having jerks they will slow down and my mind will 'fizz' back in to reality. Within a second or two everything makes sense again, I have the mental capacity to plan, organize, decide, eat, prepare, walk and move.
Sometimes however I can be very tired, the day after my worst attack I slept for 17 hours, I couldn't wake up - everytime I tried I was drunkenly falling back asleep.
Generally that is every attack more or less. Occasionally I will experience the first half until the jerks where my body may go a bit rigid and my right arm will raise and I will curl in to a ball and shake. I can only feel pressure and its dark but I am aware of where I am - I can't talk or ask for help.
Most of the time my eyes also seem to force themselves shut (like a tic) continuosly as this happens but more so on the jerking part.
All in all this will be almost garaunteed to stop an hour after it started (almost to the minute), sometimes it can be very short but i've looked at my reactions so much and written so much down that I can now tell within 10 minutes that its about to start. I don't know why I can tell but all of a sudden I'll look at my watch and keep time.
I was wondering if anyone had experienced similar, if anyone had any advice or ideas?
I have been seeing a nutritionist who has changed my diet to fit my body needs and deficiencies but this hasn't stopped the attacks.
Im still waiting on an appointment with the neurologist but I now feel like Ive had a bad run of it in the last few weeks and im dead with it all. I can hardly keep up to my routine and its getting me down - all I want to do is go to bed but it makes me feel so lazy, Im worried my partner thinks i'm crazy because I don't know whats going on in my head he must feel so useless as well.
I don't know how to control or deal with the attacks, they frighten me a lot. In fact I think Tuesday night traumatized me after sleeping 17 hours I kept crying for no reason, I was confused actually - I felt like I had been drugged. It's not a nice feeling to have when you're confused and I hate it to no end.
If anyone can help -I would be so greatful. I can't handle much more of it without an answer yet it still seems so far off.
It definitely doesn't sound like panic attacks at all to me, i'm thinking more along the lines of it being neurological, its possibly some kind of seizure but you need to be seen by a neurologist. It may even be a good thing to be seen during an attack, so id be going to the ER when it happens again.
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