femininity

I really have to ask this quesiton, how do I manage to feel feminine and attractive to my husband with MS? With all the issues involved, how do you keep romance alive in your marriage. I've put on 20 pounds in the last 5 years, 7 in the last 6 months. I try to diet, but doesn't want to come off, so I feel dumpy, dowdy, and old, and definitely unattractive.

[CtResident]

I think I know what you mean; I got a copy of my old MRI's (2003) and was astonished to see I'd put on some pounds since then. I knew I had, but seeing it in black and white confirmed it.

(I'm a stay-at-home Mom, maybe this doesn't apply if you work outside the home.)

I guess what I do is try to wear the clothes that make me feel better. Jeans, yes, but newer ones. A comfy shirt, but not too casual either. And my flats get polished up.  It still lets me feel comfortable, but it ramps it up a notch so I feel less "ragged around the edges." I also had to go without conditioner for my VEP, and was surprised that a change in shampoo gave me a good hair day! Who'd a thunk it?

Okay, that's the outside. Now for the dieting part. Well, today I just figured I can't know the future, I will not make long range plans. I will just deal with one meal at a time. And drink lots of water.

As for romance, I will do little things like put a note in his pocket. He brought me home a record (yep, a record) that he thought I'd like. Little things like that.......they do add up and make me feel better.

I hope this lets you know you're not alone. I've never given advice like this before, hope it helps.

Suzanne

[Wobbly]

Gee, I've been feeling the same way and wanted to know what I could do..thanks for the push and ideas...Maybe we could have a group or list of things that we can do to help us feel happier with ourselves and family?  If you know what I mean.. I need to be reminded of these things.. I never thought of flat shoes that might be alittle edgy...or nice tops..I'll have do that.

Andie

[CtResident]

Edgy flats? You mean with racing stripes on 'em? Or the red sparkly ones I've seen at WalMart? I have a size 9 foot, not sure I could carry that off (okayyy, I admit, they were in the girls' section!)

What I really meant was to actually polish my flats, with black stuff and a rag! Once every 6 months, whether they need it or not! YUP, a goall!

I also am one to only get a haircut every several months. (Frugal Yankee and all that.) But when I do, it feels like such a treat.

I'm not one to always go on about treat yourself, you're so special, love the inner you type of stuff. And yet, it does make sense (within reason). A happy you translates into something that people notice and respond favorably to.

Suzanne
(who has yelled at her dh for HIS crankiness about a project in the past half hour. BUT, we got over it! WHEW!)  

[Jazzyfizzle]

I have thought about this a great deal also!
I have used some of the same ideas that Suzanne has & noticed a difference like she did.

I noticed I certainly wasn't anywhere near in fashion, and I dont' want to be- but I did go find some tops that were more 'today' but yet very comfortable. I'm one of those that will not pay alot for clothes, (and get knocked flat by shopping) so it took some time, but I found a few in the seasonal clearance sections.
I did the same with my shoes- it took some looking to find actual flat shoes nowadays (everything has a heel!) but I did find good looking flats at Kmart for a low price. I have a couple colors so I can switch. I can't wear any heel at all with this terrible leg pain. (just walking around provides enough extra pain LOL)
I also bought some inexpensive bracelets and such at Walmart, ect.  The little things really helped!

I'm just like Suzanne - I am definitely not the 'spa' or treat yourself type at all. Not a girlie girl. Just a girl from the 'woods' LOL
(That always has crushed up leaves on my front rug- Oh my! LOL- another story- wink) (I had a person actually comment to me in a sly way on Christmas, how my front rug was 'messy'- and I have been really in a bad state-).


Jazzy

[Amyloo]

For me it's my hair color that makes a huge difference in how I look/feel.  I go every five weeks (yep.  I know everyone won't want to do this) and when I go in with grey roots and flat color, and then come out with fresh color I notice the difference in brightness in my face, and it just makes me feel good.  Also cute lounge pants and tops, Target is great for these.  I buy stuff that is totally comfortable but I could also go into Vons in.  And underwear matters too.  Get some new stuff, that you like.  (Not for your man, for YOU.!) Love, Amy