going out shopping

My girls and I made plans to go to the mall shopping but they didn't like the idea of me getting one of the free wheel chairs the mall offers to push me.  My 12 year old son said he would push me but he might be embarrassed.  

Hmmm, do they not want to deal with this?  I can not go to the mall without a wheel chair or some sort of motorized device.  I have a rollator but that is not going to be good enough for that much walking.

LA

[sllowe]

Nothing to be embarrased of - nothing.

Once they do it, they will know that it's ok.  Maybe it's just their anticipation, because it's different that makes them think of it as embarrassment.

You go to the mall, let them push you etc., they will see while you are there and afterward that "it's all ok."

Don't you go thinking one minute LA that they are embarrassed of you. K? I know your ways, because I'm the same way. Don't let this get the best of you. This is your mind reader talking...ha/ha

Kids need proof, that is all.  Now , go - go w/the wheelchair, and enjoy your day out.  Tell us all about it when you come home!

Love ya,
Shell

[AMO]

dear La,
Did your girllls offer    a reason?
because they think you sould be able to walk the mall?
too much a 'hassle' for them?
or simply THEIR embaressment?

Ii am sorry this hurt you emtional.
The lessons the kids are learning are tough ones.

Firstly, i am glad you knopw you r limits and understandyou   need a w/c.
It will make the day much better for you.
Secondly, I know this is such hard and not easy on any of you. Acceptacne of change and differenceis not easy. Being young as we know if tough enough, without whammies like mom needing a w/c.
Hope this is not too much out of line,,,,
shame shame shame on them.
but your girls sould be ashamed of themselves.

I know iwt would not be the same,  but IF your kids stillwill not step up for you, can friend  take you? Maybe taking your son too, then he can get  a feel slowlyfor this new roll for him.
IT is hard to want to make some 'normalcy'   and go about, then be denied because someon else lack helping.  
The best thing you could do for them is keep youur head up and show by example and show them you are proud to be able what you can do.
A gentle reminder to them that is is not the way YOU really want to do it either wouldn't hurt.
I hope you can work this all out.
take care , amo

[Lulu54]

Hello,
I'm sure there are lots of things your girls "don't like the idea" about but they do it anyway because there is no choice.  I'm sure they don't like the idea of your MS either, but that can't be changed.  

At the same time it is extremely healthy for your kids to be able to speak honesly about their feelings - -they are still young and must be having all sorts of trouble adjusting to these big changes with their mom.  I would hope that you can sit your family down and have an honest talk about your limitations and then let them talk - you need to stay calm and unemotional about it because they may come up with some real doozies as they try to sort out their own feelings.    

All of this stinks but life does go on and it should include trips to the mall if you feel like it with your children.

Be well, Lulu

[LLWB]

I don't know if Malls have them, but a motorized chair would be even better. It would allow you to control yourself, and give you and them more freedom. When I go to the mall with my son, we agree to meet at a specified time, and he takes off. But he is older. I think it's great your son is willing to help you, even if he might feel embarrased. EVERYTHING embarrases our children when the are with us. Just the nature of the beast.   But show them you are proud to be with them, and they will be proiud to be with you.  I hope you go, have a great time, and it will be a learning experience for your kids.  Kids hate anything different. But you will be a great example to them by going and overcoming limitations, showing them that all things are possible. Have fun shopping, great therapy!

[LATW]

Thanks everyone,
I talked to my oldest daughter today and she said it is my second daughter that is concerned I will become dependant on my walker or a wheel chair.

Well, she is right, I MAY be dependant on those things at some point.  It is my lower body that is affected the most by MS along with my vision.

I do show them some of the tests that are done on me.  Like walking with my eyes closed. I can not do it. I'll ask them if they can do it.  Of course they try and they can.  I am hoping by having them do some of the things my PT has me do it might help them GET it a little.

But the problem is they have in their minds if I don't use it I'll lose it while my PT is saying CONSERVE it.  She wants me using my walker for safety and to conserve my energy so I can walk safely when I need to.

I have found fatigue makes me must worse.  Not just sleepy fatigue but if I am on my feet and get fatigued I start to walk sloppy. I catch my toes.  When I walk I feel like it am walking on my toes.  I feel like I start walking too fast and am falling forward.

MY PT said it is the same as someone with Parkinson's. She was not saying I had Parkinson's but walking on the toes and forward is a problems with balance.  Anyway.  

It frustrates me.  

LA