13 Specialists and still no diagnosis - please help?

[ISOHelp]

Hi Folks:

I am praying and hoping that someone in this Forum (or another - I will post my "case study" in a few places with the hope of getting an answer or some suggestions) can help me figure out what is wrong with me. To date I have seen at least 13 (THIRTEEN) doctors and none of them can give me a solid diagnosis - and meanwhile, I am still symptomatic of SOMETHING, and don't know what to do.

So here's the facts.

Current Medical Status:

1. Weight Loss ≤ 18 pounds since 12/1/09 (history of anorexia (w/exercise bulimia)/OCD)
2. Diagnosed with PCOS years ago
3. ≈ 15 “episodes” of visual disturbance each lasting anywhere from 30 seconds - 2 minutes with no *real* headache before or afterwards (by visual disturbance I mean: colors flickering, moving across my vision, followed by blurred-tunnel vision/inability to focus) and then it resolves on its own
4. Possible triggers? Changes in weather, extreme stress, weight loss, skipping meals, anxiety, low BP?, family history of migraine (Father (20 years))
5. At times also experiencing pulsatile tinnitus(?) or the sensation of hearing my heart beating/pounding in my head and/or ears.
6. Brain MRI (w/o contrast) = Normal
7. EEG = “Unremarkable & within normal limits”
8. Since 12/1/09 have had *persistent* "floaters" to one degree or another in one or both of my eyes (at first, one ophtho said they were "inflammatory cells" caused by some lower corneal irritation - used eyedrops for a week, wore my glasses (instead of contacts) return visit showed no more inflammatory cells, however TO THIS DAY: floaters persist.
9. Bloodwork 3/1/10 checking for: full CBC panel; vitamin deficiencies; Lyme Disease; inflammatory disease/processes; electrolytes = Normal

To date I have seen: 2 GP's, 2 ENT's, 2 Ophthalmologists, 2 Neurologists, 1 Endocrinologist, 1 Psychiatrist, 1 CBT Psychologist, and 1 OB/GYN and no one, definitively, can give me a solid diagnosis.

(Suggested) Diagnoses to Date

1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (Is this all anxiety-related?)
2. Atypical/Ocular/Ophthalmological/Frustrated Migraine/Aura
3. Macular Keratitis/Primary Iridocyclitis
4. "I hate to say this, but some of what you're describing actually sounds "fantastic," like, it doesn't make any medical sense"” (ENT #2)

I literally feel like I'm losing my mind. Not a SINGLE doctor I have seen can tell me what's going on here. They say a lot of "could be" and "might be" and "possibly" and no one seems to think my symptoms are "severe" enough to warrant any kind of treatment, but the ongoing symptoms (floaters, "visual episodes", strange auditory episodes, etc.) are really, really having a tremendously negative effect on my quality of life. I wish there was SOMETHING I could know/do to make this all go away.

I have some feeling that I may be experiencing adverse effects of long-term use of Klonopin. I've done some reading on tolerance-withdrawal” effects (as in, my body is "detoxing" itself because the dose I am on is not high enough and it needs more), but no specialist I've seen thinks that is a legitimate diagnosis.

Also, if it's any help, here is my drug (Prescription & Non-Prescription) history:

Date Drug Dx Rx How long on it?
2004 Zoloft (generic) Anorexia/Depression/Anxiety 25-100mg 3 years (no longer taking)
2004 Ativan (generic) Anorexia/Depression/Anxiety 0.5-1.0mg Several weeks (no longer taking)
2009 Klonopin (generic) Generalized Anxiety Disorder 1.0mg (0.5/2x day) 1 year+ (still taking)
2009 MIRALAX Chronic Constipation As per label 6 months – 1 year (still taking)
2010 TwinLab Vitamin B2 Headache/Visual Disturbances 100mg (2 capsules/2x day) 2 months (no longer taking -- symptoms persisted while taking it, second neurologist suggested I discontinue)
2010 Vita Medica PM Multi-Vitamin Headache/Visual Disturbances [Neuro prescribed 400mg magnesium (stomach couldn’t tolerate); getting 300mg in a multivitamin instead] 2 months (still taking)

I so hope someone can help me. I feel like everyone in the medical community has written me off. And going to CBT once a week is doing NOTHING for my organic symptoms.

Thanks in advance!

[ISOHelp]

Also, just curious, was re-looking at the report from the MRI I had done when all this started.

Clinical Statement: Dizziness. Headache. Tinnitus. Decreased hearing in left ear. Rule out acoustic neuroma.

Impression: Normal noncontrast MRI of the brain and IACs. Minimal mucosal thickening in the left maxillary sinus.

Technique: Multi-planar MRI examination of the brain and IACs was performed on a 1.5 Tesla MRI without gadolinium as requested by the referring physician.

Comment: The centricles are midline in location and demonstrate a normal appearance. There is no mass effect or midline shift. The gray-white matter differentiation is within normal limits. No abnormal parenchymal signal is seen. There is no acute/subacute infarction. Thin section T-2 weighted images through the IACs demonstrates normal appearance of the 7th and 8th nerve complexes. There is no evidence to suggest acoustic neuroma within the limits of a noncontrast examination. However note is made that a small enhancing lesion cannot be excluded based on this examination. Ideally contrast-enhanced study of the IACs should be performed. There is no evidence to suggest mass within the limits of a noncontrast study. Normal flow-voids ar seen in the internal carotid and basilar arteries at the skull base. There is minimal mucosal thickening in the left maxillary sinus. The mastoid air cells are clear.

--------

So this was the report from my Brain MRI. Two neurologists saw it, and apparently saw nothing of alarm. I was a little worried about the "small enhancing lesion" comment (they weren't, should I be????) and neither of them suggested doing another MRI with dye -- they said this one should/would have picked up anything.

Thoughts?

[ISOHelp]

I really do appreciate your help - and actually believe you might be someone who can provide me with some direction.

Are there some tests you think I should pursue?
Do my symptoms sound like they might be representative of any condition to you?

I desperately want to feel better, trust me. And I apologize if I am coming off as hostile or defensive. It's mostly sheer exhaustion of not knowing what's wrong with me - and for that, I am sorry.

So in your opinion, what is it that you think I am suffering from/with? Is there some treatment I should be seeking? More diagnostic procedures?

[twopack]

Hi back to you.

You do sound defensive but that's ok.  Many of us do when we are ill and can't find the help we need.  My post wasn't intended to insult or demean you (like Dr. House often will).  Did you read the parts that said,..

"When you say your quality of life is greatly diminished by your symptoms I take it on faith that is true." and

"I absolutely understand the frustration in a fruitless search for answers." and

"Again, I do understand that you are very uncomfortable and unsettled in your present skin."

Just an FYI:  Miralax acts by pulling water from your body into your gut and speeds up transit time and elimination.  Whatever pulls water will pull electrolytes with it and that is where my caution came from.  If your doctor wants you to take it, then take it!  The lipid reference had to do with PCOS.  I'm glad to hear you are already seeing an expert on that.  I'm surprised they haven't given you more information.

Another FYI:  Our body ages much sooner than we expect.  Yes, it ***** big time and remains a dirty little secret because we all choose not to listen to the people a step or two ahead of us.  I always knew I would get old.  I just didn't think I would be this young when it happened.  Thirty one is old enough for floaters.  You had inflammation that may have hurried their arrival.  24/7?  That's their nature.  They don't go away.  Someone already told you that once they are there, they stay there.  You can only hope now that they will hurry and settle to the bottom of your eye fluid and become less noticeable (yes, they do that).

YOU are the one who wondered if the Klonopin could be a problem.  YOU are the one who stated that CBT was not helping your organic symptoms.  I simply offered some alternatives until you can get a more definitive diagnosis or treatment.


"My hope would be to give you some observations .... and insight .....You'll have to judge if my decision to write was right."
I have apparently failed in this although I do now have some insight myself about how you may be approaching doctors who can't tell you what you want to hear.  Since you don't seem to care for my brand of caring or helpfulness, I'm choosing to spend my time elsewhere.  Good luck to you.

A parting thought:  You are right.  Quantifying symptoms really isn't useful.  But neither is extending your suffering by obsessing over them endlessly toward no useful purpose.  I have experience in this realm.  If you have any interest, my history (including my age and gender) can be found under my profile.  (Hint: my avatar is a chick- lol)

[ISOHelp]

Hi there:

I just spent forever typing a response, and wasn't logged in, so POOF it disappeared. UGH. So here's the abbreviated response.

1. I'm guessing you're a man, because men like to "quantify" things. :-) Saying I've had 30 minutes of visual disturbance? NOT helpful. That's like telling someone with epilepsy who's had 5 grand mal seizures that lasted 20 minutes each, that since it only occupied 100 minutes of their life, it's not worth X degree of concern. Trivializing things that way just isn't helpful - because you fail to account for the time spent being concerned there's something wrong and doctors are missing it, time spent worrying an "episode" may happen and cause harm to oneself or others (say, if it happened while driving), so on and so forth. Bottom line, quantifying symptoms really isn't useful.

2. For anxiety I am continuing at the dose of Klonopin I am on (not increasing it) and undergoing CBT once a week. CBT takes a while to show any results, so I have to stick with it, but we'll see.

3. Miralax is just polyethylene glycol. Plastic, in other words. It goes straight through you and is not absorbed systemically. I seriously doubt it has any impact on electrolytes, lipids, etc. Plus all 13 doctors know I am taking it, and thought it was no problem and/or had nothing at al to do with my weird symptoms. And no, it is not related to my past with an eating disorder. It's related to regularizing my bowel movements. And it works for that purpose. That's why I keep taking it "indefinitely" at my endocrinologist's suggestion.

4. My endocrinologist DOES specialize in PCOS -- that's why I went to see him in the first place. He ran all SORTS of bloodwork. Hormones, electrolytes, CBC, cortisol, I peed in a jug for 24 hours, you name it, he ran it. Do you think maybe he missed some things? Should I go back to him and request something in particular?

I'm 31. Floaters at 31? 24-7? That *****. The guy I saw at the Retinal Vitreous Center about them said they were a "natural part of aging". Well, OK. Maybe if I was 50 or something I'd say - alright, I have to accept that things start going wrong at a certain age. But at 31??? Really???

I'm SO not trying to be combative or argumentative. I know it may come across that way. But I'm also not stupid and refuse to be "written off" as someone who is just "anxious" or a hypochondriac, when I am experiencing very real organic symptoms. I just wish I could figure out what was causing them. I find it hard to believe that the fact that they all started simultaneously, happen simultaneously, etc. is some weird coincidence, and that nothing is wrong....when in my gut, I feel like something IS. I just don't know who to go to, or what diagnostics I need to figure it out. I wish there was someone like "House" out there who could get on the case.

[twopack]

Initially, I had no intention of responding to your post because I don't have a good grasp about what might be going on with your body.  But some of the responses from other people have made me rethink that intention.  

My hope would be to give you some observations that may prove helpful in your diagnostic evaluation and some insight into how your personal presentation comes across to health care professionals.

I may be having a reaction similar to some of the doctors you have seen (I'm not a doctor).  When you say your quality of life is greatly diminished by your symptoms I take it on faith that is true.  But I have a hard time understanding how that results from the few symptoms you have described - 30 total minutes of visual disturbance (15 X 2 minutes each), periodic tinnitus, floaters, and weight loss.

Here are my observations:
Your approach doesn't sound like it holds forth much respect for the knowledge and expertise of physicians.  I absolutely understand the frustration in a fruitless search for answers, especially when it appears the pool of quality diagnosticians is shrinking at an alarming rate.  Doctor are human and have egos and varying people handling skills that sometimes interfere with applying all the knowledge they have.  But I can't imagine many physicians respond well to patients who come into the office with an internet diagnosis, TV ad drug list, and instructions on which tests and scripts they should use their hard earned license to authorize.  ("What should I tell them to do?")  By all means, be a educated about your own body and health care needs.  Work WITH your doctor.  You should be a team.  And maybe you are but it came across different here.

If you believe Klonapin is part of the problem then ask for help stopping it and ask for a substitute ALTERNATIVE treatment.  Something like biofeedback, mindfulness meditation, progressive relaxation or self-hypnosis could be very beneficial and also make you a more active participant in the process toward less anxiety.  CBT can help organic problems if that's where they stem from but it can also keep you agitated and focused on problems (at least until you get to the solutions).  It can certainly co-exist with other methods I listed.

STOP the Miralax unless there is a clear medical indication for it's regular use.  It is intended for occasional use only and could contribute to poor nutrient absorption and water/electrolyte imbalance.  Someone who is losing weight doesn't need to be running food through their system as fast as possible.  Is this connected to the eating disorder?

You say you have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and a doc mentioned insulin resistance but you dismiss diabetes and/or thyroid connections (Honestly, I guess the docs did too.)  Blood sugar and lipid abnormalities, insulin resistance and diabetes are all strongly correlated with PCOS.  This isn't just a disease of the ovary.  It got it's name from ONE possible symptom.  I'd see a endocrinologist specializing in this disorder.

You don't say how old you are but floaters happen to all of us and some have a great deal more.  Our bodies are full of flashes, creeks, gurgles, and shocks.  Most of the time we go on to other more interesting life events.  Sometimes they need treatment.  Sometimes we become highly sensitive to them and need to re-adjust to living with them (not easy perhaps, but possible).  The trick is finding which are which.

I think you can't go wrong if you limit medication that may be causing more side effects than benefits, eat a well balanced diet, establish a plan for regular physical activity, practice active relaxation and devote time to a activity you truly enjoy.  Then if symptoms persist in making you miserable, you can approach the next doc with all the preliminary bases covered and a generally healthier you.

Again, I do understand that you are very uncomfortable and unsettled in your present skin.  But it sounds like you have had enough testing to be confident that your symptoms aren't deadly.  We don't always get answers to medical questions.  At least not on the day that we ask them.  Or week...month...year.  Sometimes we have to figure out how health, happiness, activity and limitations can co-exist.

Hope my thoughts didn't get too disjointed.  You'll have to judge if my decision to write was right.

[advil4me]

you have the exact symptoms that i have had for over six years now... and i am still looking for answers.. i have seen all the doctors that you have, with no results. I have these syptoms every day all day... i do get migraines and when i do i  have none of these symptoms. sometimes i wish for a headache so the symptoms will go away for a while. I am not an anxious or nervous person... but these symptoms are mind boggling and make me anxious and nervous. The only relief i can get is taking 3 advil and one regular sudafed (not the pe one). I can get a few days of relief from taking these, but it doesnt last long. so i give it a break then try again. hope this helps a little..

[ISOHelp]

Hi All:

Caregiver222: I have *not* been diagnosed with seizures. I am on Klonopin for anxiety. I am on the therapeutic dose of Klonopin for GAD/Panic Disorder which is 0.5mg/2x a day. Doses for seizures are far, far higher. So again, NOT on Klonopin for seizures. On it, for anxiety. Is it the best treatment for GAD? No, not really. Generally benzos are only used short-term (i.e. 1-2 weeks) and in patients with long-standing anxiety disorders, SSRI/SNRI drugs are preferable. I've had terrible experiences with SSRI's which is why I am hesitant to go on them to treat my anxiety and prefer to stay on the Klonopin - even though I have a feeling it is no longer working for its original intended purpose (to treat anxiety) and/or I may be having some sort of tolerance-withdrawal symptoms (which some people believe happens, and other people don't).

I've had a lot of bloodwork done, seen an endocrinologist, and diabetes never came up as a possibility - my GP didn't consider it an issue either. Do you suggest I get re-tested at this point???

My "Chief Complaints" are: Persistent Floaters and "Ocular/Auditory Episodes" (lasting on average 30 seconds - 2 minutes). I've presented these "chief complaints" to 13 doctors at this point. Including TWO neurolgists. The last neurologist I saw said that nothing I am describing is "life threatening" and I need to stop focusing on the symptoms. I find this dismissive and arrogant. That's why I'm continuing to pursue what is wrong. I feel he is writing me off as "anxious" and that's it. Frankly, I think there is something ORGANICALLY wrong with me, and my anxiety/depression associated with it is a result of not having my physical symptoms taken seriously and/or adequately treated. So not sure what to pursue at this point. Which doctor to go back to?

Nicola: No, haven't had an ANA or DNA antibody test. Suggest I have it done? Who performs this? My GP? And yes, I have had a brain MRI (WITHOUT contrast). It came out completely clean. I have also had an EEG (standard 30-45min. one) which was "unremarkable and within normal limits"). I have also seen a psychiatrist who said: yes, you are anxious, yes you have OCDish behavior, how about an anti-depressant or increasing your Klonopin? I didn't/don't want to pursue the SSRI/SRNI path because I've been there before, done it, gained 30 pounds, wasn't able to orgasm, and felt like a zombie for 3 years. No thanks. And increasing the Klonopin seems like an idiotic suggestion because: A. It's not meant to be taken long-term anyhow (I've been on it for over a year, so I was surprised he didn't suggest getting me OFF it) and B. I am already taking the therapeutic dose of Klonopin for GAD/Panic Disorder. One has only to read the PI for the drug to see that doses of 2.0,3.0, 4.0 are not necessarily more efficacious and/or are related to increased adverse events. So no thanks there either.

I'm just really at such a loss. Don't know what to pursue. I'm genuinely appreciative of everyone's suggestions. I just want to know which MD to go back to, and what to suggest they check for....

Thank you!

[thyroidian]

Sorry youve seen a neurologist, have you had a brain MRI, OR CT?
What were his findings, and what were the psychologist, and psychiatrists, findings,
If you want to message me thats fine.
Keep strong
Nicola

[thyroidian]

thanks for giving me you answers to the questions i asked.

Now have you had a ANA, which is a anti nuclear antibody blood test.
Also a DNA antibody blood test
Also have you been checked for inflammation markers in the blood?

ANA blood tests are used in diagnosing, autoimmune disorders, and i think you really need one.
Make sure you go out in the sun before the blood is drawn if possible.
Then if it comes back abnormal, make sure you get the result, and find out its pattern also.

You mentioned oily skin and dry skin.
This sounds like your hormones are really out off whack, and when one hormone gets thrown out of sync, many others seem to follow for some strange reason.

Have you seen a rheumatologist? regarding the joint pains.
Then i go back to the migraines, have you been seen by a neurologist?
Have you had an MRI of the brain?

If you havent been seen by a neurologist, then maybe this is the specialist you need.
Or a really good neuro-endocrinoogist.

Hope to hear of you soon.
Keep your chin up, and dont worry to much, i know thats easier said than done.
I have been in your shoes many times.and we often feel like throwing the towel in, but you are the best advocate for your own body.
Keep strong
Nicola

[caregiver222]

First of all you have something structurally abnormal.  The symptoms suggest the problem is with your encochrine system, either with the organs producing hormones or the receptor sites that utilize them. Hormones are polypeptides. Signaling substances.  They tested the hormone levels but not the receptor sites. Family "history of migraine" suggests a genetic link. This not something that "good feeling therapy", mirrors or blessed water is helpful in. Metabolic illnesses and diabetes are good guesses.

You have been diagnosed with siezures, which is why you are on the Klonapin. According to the literature visual disturbances and halucinations are ocasional side effects. Usually this medication is given with others or as an alternative to dilantin. This does not mean you have been inappropriately medicated.

The floaters are commonly associated with diabetes. Once they show up, they don't go away. You need at the minimum an hba1c and diabetic screen.

Everyone can have siezures. The normal brain has a "threshold" at which siezures may be induced. Flickering lights or a television set can induce them.

Before medications are prescribed polarized glasses should be worn, which sometimes eliminate the siezures.

There are a number of things going on and your history will overwhelm the average physician. The word "hypochondriac" blinks on your head like a neon sign. I am NOT stating you are a hypochondriac.

You need to start presenting your problems in terms of "Chief Complaints".

That is to say "what is troubling the patient in the patients own words".

Medical terms such as you are using are not helpful.

Chief complaints have (or should be) presented over a time-line. When they first appeared, the severity on each ocasion, what were you doing when the symptoms appeared.

There are lots of "missing pieces" in your presentation.

My statement is NOT meant to be critical of you, but walking into a G.P. office with all that you have written down will be met with a shrug.

[theasian]

has your blood been tested for autoimmune disease (ie have they tested it for the presence of ANA?) i think nicola asked about the rash and joints because she thought, like i did, that it might have been lupus. i wouldnt rule it out though if you dont have the rash or joint problems though because it affects everyone differently as it can attack any part of the body. even if your ANA comes back negative, there might be a chance that you have it as 95% of people get a positive result, you might be part of the 5%.
to a certain extent i know how you feel because i also have a whole load of symptoms without a diagnosis though i've only been to 2 neurologists. so just know that you aren't alone in the struggle for answers, i hope you can get some soon though. take care

[ISOHelp]

Hi there!

I appreciate your exercise, and in fact, almost strangely enough, I *did* recently tell someone who has hurt me my entire life, that I am no longer allowing it. My Father. So interestingly enough, I actutally DID do the exercise you suggest(ed).

I hear you in saying my symptoms/issues sound more "emotional/psychological" than anything and a few doctors I've seen have come to a similar conclusion, but then there are other people (myself included) who will say: "no way on Earth anxiety, or anything else psychological can cause these symptoms you are describing":

-- Grinding/ringing/mechanical sound in ears (and pulsatile tinnitus every now and then)
-- Viual disturbances (streaming colors followed by tunnel vision/inability to focus for 30 sec. - 2 mins.)
-- Persistent floaters (going on 4 months now)

Sure, my REACTION to these symptoms may be heightened and emotional, but trust me, after 4 months of dealing with them non-stop, no diagnosis, and feeling like your suffering would make any normal person anxious/upset too. I feel like I'm arguing with medical professionals saying to them: "I'm anxious because the symptoms EXIST, if they'd just GO AWAY already, or I could treat them, my anxiety would diminish/disappear!" My anxiety (I don't believe) isn't CREATING these symptoms. It may be exacerbating them, certainly, but what are the symptoms of, in and of theselves??? I find it oddly coincidental that they are all happening simultaneously. I just wish one (if not ALL) of them would STOP already. I'm so sad and tired of dealing with them every day.
I am not saying that you do not have a problem but sometimes, we can over analyse what we consider a problem.  Until you decide to accept that you were not in the position to go up against like an adult or felt helpless = just remember that now you are in charge of your life.   Forgive yourself, and remember that now you know that you are entitled to a change of your choice.

Just time one thing at a time.  Because unless you are ill and labs prove it.  This sounds more emotional and you do not want to spend your life medicated and bring on kidney or liver not to mention heart problems in the future.

Best wishes.

[ISOHelp]

Hi Nicola:

> Have you been tested for metabollic illnesses, have you had your thyroid bloods and diabetes tested for?

I actually have seen an endocrinologist (one of the 13 doctors I've seen) who did a very, very thorough work-up. All hormone levels, cortisol, you name it -- and everything came out fine. He "casually" said he saw some SLIGHT insulin-resistance, but nothing serious, nothing to worry about, and nothing at all to indicate thyroid or other metabolic illness. Should I go back and see him again? I have no clue at all what I'd even suggest he check for(???)

> May I ask what is your skin like ? have you had any skin changes? along with your other problems.

Honestly? My skin is ALWAYS bad. I've almost accepted that I'll never have perfect/clear skin. I'm 31. It ranges from super-dry to super-oily and I have a horrible OCD-esque habit of picking at it, so I probably make it a lot worse than it might be, but for the most part it has never been healthy/glowing/clear/nice. NEVER. I might say it has gotten slightly worse over the course of what feels like my running on this "medical treadmill" but who knows why(?)

> What are your joints like? Do you have any skin rashes?

No skin rashes at all. But I do notice, admittedly, that my wrists, ankles, and lower leg bones can get very, very achy and "crack-y" (when I bend them), especially towards the end of the day. My husband attributes it to me sitting on the couch improperly (generally with my legs up on a table in front of us) and maybe pinching something in my back that makes my legs ache, but yes, very achy joints - especially at night. Does that tell you anything?

I have had my thyroid checked. No issue there at all, on bloodwork. And also think that the latest and greatest blood panel (CBC, hormones, vitamin deficiencies, Lyme Disease, etc.) came out totally clean - such that even my GP is at a loss for what else "to test for".

I'm just so lost and hopelessly sad about it all.

Hope to hear your thoughts.

[xocruz]

It really sounds that you are in a whole lot of pain, but I strongly recommend that you do the following as an exercise.   It is clear that you are asking for help and have under gone every medical test possible.   I strongly feel that the results have become a medical condition, but please do the following exercise.

Walk to a mirror and take a long hard look.  Look closely into your eyes, your body, and most important tell your self what is it that would make you happy.

In a plain sheet of paper answer the following questions.

1.    In the last ten years who has hurt me.
2.    Who is important to me.
3.    Why didn't I say anything for  what happened to me (write down every detail)
4.   If you could, address the before mentioned again what would you tell the person

We tend to be very hard on ourselves sometimes, so be honest and then realise that you are not the same person today.   Its ok to make mistakes and if you were wronged, remember that not always were you in charge.  It's OK to be human.

I am not saying that you do not have a problem but sometimes, we can over analyse what we consider a problem.  Until you decide to accept that you were not in the position to go up against like an adult or felt helpless = just remember that now you are in charge of your life.   Forgive yourself, and remember that now you know that you are entitled to a change of your choice.

Just time one thing at a time.  Because unless you are ill and labs prove it.  This sounds more emotional and you do not want to spend your life medicated and bring on kidney or liver not to mention heart problems in the future.

Best wishes.

[thyroidian]

Gosh you have been having an hard time.
When i read your post it sounded similar to mine.
Have you been tested for metabollic illnesses, have you had your thyroid bloods and diabetes tested for?
I only ask because you say skipping meals can trigger it, maybe when your blood sugar drops, and you cant tolerate exercise, that is seem in metabollic.
you also say you have had PCOS for years, well PCOS can be seen alongside other endocrine gland illnesses.
May i ask what is your skin like ? have you had any skin changes? along with your other problems.
What are your joints like? Do you have any skin rashes?
Sorry im asking you lots of questions as this is a complicated post, and im just trying to get a better picture.

I would definately be having a metabollic blood panel done because your problem could lie there.
Thyroid , diabetes glucose. maybe a cortisol blood draw as well.
Hope for your reply
Nicola