Crazy mother in law

I have know my mother in law for well over 4 years now and have tried on several occasions to define what disorder she has. I really need help as nobody in her immediate family will openly admit that there is a problem and get her help. They do not want get her upset as she does have a way of making everyone's lives miserable.

Symptoms:
1. general confusion or lack of attention - An example of this is when we are watching a movie she will constantly ask us to stop so that she can ask questions. It seems as though she just mentally checks out.

2. social awkwardness - We went out to dinner the other night and, as she always does, she repeats what people say to other people sitting at the table. I will be talking to my brother in law while everyone else is eating in silence and will say something like"I am going to brush my teeth tonight". She will repeat this loudly to each person at the table as though I am a ghost that only she can see. She does this to everyone, but it happens the most when she is under stress.

3. She already has a masters in nutrition, but left her job at the hospital quickly after starting. She says that she was not getting along with her coworkers. The family is well off due to my father in laws career as a Dr. yet after raising 4 kids(poorly) and being just shy of 50 she is enrolled to become a guidance councilor.

4. As I stated, she is going back to school to become a guidance councilor. She now constantly gives career suggestions without thinking. If I wear a hat, she says that I should think about going into fashion. If I make a sandcastle at the beach, I should now become an architect. If I doodle, now I should be an engineer. I get at least a few career suggestions each time I see her. I normally say something like "that would be interesting". She will keep bringing up these careers throughout the day/night and give odd justifications for her suggestions at each mention. I do not know if she actually believes what she is suggesting or if she just likes to have something to say.

5. Long awkward talks - There have been occasions that my wife and I have come over for dinner and my mother in law and father in law will stay in their bedroom the entire time. Or after leaving an event and going back to their home they will stay in the car and talk for 40 minutes plus. She gets into "funks" and my father in law has to talk to her for long periods of time to make her feel better.

6. Crazy random laughing - Eyes staring like they are locked into the same position by some magical force, she will emit a loud fake laugh at odd times. This mainly happens during dinner conversation.

7. She blames the kids for ruining her chance to go to medical school. She has told them this many times. It seems as though she thinks that they came out of her womb with the intent of doing this. Premeditated life alteration by unborn babies. I don't know if this counts, but being a father myself it just seems so odd.

There is more, but it is all so fragmented and I do not know what is helpful. It seems that it is much easier to diagnose physical ailments than mental ones. I really need to know where to start and if something like this can be helped. Thank you

[Sallysmart]

I am not sure how to tell you this but the blaming of the kids, is done but many mothers who think they coulda done something better if not for the kids but it is not the childrens fault and they are not blaming them for coming out as much as they are blaming them maybe for not being the perfect child maybe or they are blaming themselves and that is how it comes out and sadly enough the kids have to hear it as it sounds.
The other stuff sounds like something to work on for sure, doesnt seem normal to stare and laugh altho I have seen it happen before in some people, usually there is a medication for that if family can admit it and work with it. Being her husband is a doctor you'd think he would be on it but is it a recent kind of thing the family are not ready to see going on or has she been like this all her life and it has been ignored till now where you are seeing?
It is gonna be hard for you to be the one to start taking care of this in any case just because you are not an immediate family member but what about your wife, how does she feel about it? If she sees what you see she should step up and try to talk to her dad about it, specailly if it is a recent thing starting up and progressing (could be some kind of disease developing like alzimers for a loose example) and again if she has been like this all her life and your wife has not seen an abnormality with it cos she is used to her mom being this way it is goona be hard to get that going anyway
Best thing to do if she has been that way all her life is let it go and try to see motherinlaw in non public places and just go with the flow as family are and hope she does get help someday, some people are just different from others and sounds like the rest of the family are not interested in making a change or getting help. If so you will have a ten fold battle on your hands trying to be the one to start it now.
Cant say this is a good thing but if she ever is left by her husband (SORRY, but like in death) the family would step up and help her I am sure and maybe then proper supportive living arrangemnets might be made then, right now maybe since she is with her husband her social inabilities might just not be a concern for the family, I say this because my aunt is very much on the strange side and while she married a man and was well taken care of all her adult life while having one child, no one seemed to question her social inabilities, when he passed on she was moved into a senior care facility that has management skills for her condition and as different as she still is she is living fine and cared for and has been there 8 years now, A slight challenge for the staff but they are trained, and really she is no worse then some of the clients there who are aging and having a bad time of it, just she has been that way all her life so she fits right in anyway.
Hope this helps in some way and I know what you mean by events happening in public, we saw lots of that and so we did most of our family events in a home setting, hers or someone elses in the family, just not so much out in public and she was mostly ok with that because of lots of people being around her, we just kept busy and cooked meals at the houses mostly.

[Sallysmart]

And BTW, my aunts condition has never had a real diagnosis, it just seems she is very different and sparks off easily but back then when it was developing as she grew up, her family managed her as well as they could being in a small town and it just went from there, so never medicated for it either, not sure if she is now in the facility tho. We were always told she is very different and to understand it