Dads OCD making me Sick, he has disturbing rituals

[DjangoStyle]

My dad has been doing the same rituals for the last 25 Years, ever since I was a kid.  He grabs his penis and scrotum through his pants every time he passes in front of the TV, even if he is holding something in his hand meant to be for someone else, like food or something.  He will lower that hand to his crotch and rub it.  He does this every time he passes the TV, each time he walks out of the kitchen ( which is 10 steps from our living room where the TV is ), each time he places his car keys on the keyholder hook, each time he goes up the steps to our 2nd floor and a VAST amount of other areas.  He has so many OCD rituals, I am going insane.  He refuses to seek help and insists on including me in his sickness.  His OCD includes me.  Every time he gets up from the couch he has to lean over to one side, grab his crotch, make goofy faces and babble inaudible words, toss his hand up in the air and then he can stand up and get off the couch, but he does this when I am sitting next to him.  He leans literally almost into my face and makes those faces like he is having a seizure. He does the idiot face each time he places his keys on the hook, and when he starts to walk up the steps, at random times during the day but mostly when someone is trying to talk to him.  He also does this when he is DRIVING, he must tip his glasses, hands off the wheel and make the goofiest face you have ever seen each and every time he passes certain areas in town.  He is making me sick and I've watched him do this for 25 years.  I am disabled and cannot drive, so he must drive me around when i need to do something, and I have to withstand the terror of potential death with him in the car from doing his OCD things on the road.  

he wont get help, he will get fuming mad if you mention it and he will tell you something mean about yourself if you try to talk to him about it.  I have no idea what I am supposed to do, but I am stuck with him right next to me doing all of this each and every day.  He is making me sick.  Why cant people with OCD understand they make other people sick and drive them insane, your sickness makes other people sick and you are too stupid to realize it and odds are good you dont care enough to stop what you are doing for the sake of your kids.  

[tjames702]

I was very surprised to have found an article such as this as I thought my own Father was a one of a kind. Well as it  pains me to say, he is just as disturbed. He is 62 and I had to move back in with him (Hes single now) and help him because he is losing his eye sight. He walks around the house in tighty whities with his balls floppin around every which way and he constantly grabs his private parts in front of me and as well as in front of others in public. I tried to mention its not polite to do this in front of people and he just shrugs it off as if hes not doing anything wrong.

Ive come to realize people in general have pride in themselves and find it as a weakness to change for anyone. Ive seen stranger's faces in public when they catch him doing it and they are appalled. I cant go anywhere with him anymore because of this. Its just too embarrassing. Ive given up on trying to correct his nasty habits and Ive distanced myself from him as well. Its just the way it has to be or else I too will end up insane like he is.

Unfortunately  people only change if THEY WANT TO. If they dont feel they need to change , no matter who tells them, they just simply wont. And the older they get the worse it gets. I caught him eating a booger the other day too. Im scared what itll be like if he gets to be 80 or even 90 years old. You have to somehow ignore these disgusting habits no matter how difficult. Im sorry but I feel like theres no solution to people who live this way. Good Luck.

[DjangoStyle]

He was diagnosed with OCD 40 years ago and refused to seek help after that.  There is no question about him having ocd.  He closes doors and opens them a few dozen times, he has to tap the door to the car each time he gets in or out, his hands are bone dry and often bleed out due to the insane about of times he must wash his hands and how much soap he uses, usually a half a bar of soap and half a tube of soft soap every day, i mean there are so many things he does i cannot keep track.  The sheer volume of habits he has is staggering.  The living situation is that I have no insurance and have nowhere to go. My medical bills put me so far into the red, lol.  Ive looked into the free medical help thing and its not sufficient enough to get the type of constant medical help I need for my own physical health issues.  Those free programs only go so far and do not cover the vast amount of needs I have, I am open to suggestions but the only way out seems to be going back to college and living on campus away from home life, which is daunting and very scary since I wont have anyone to help me except some random roommate.  My situation right now is that if I dont have him to help me here, I will likely die or be put on the street.  Free patient care only goes so far.

As for my dad, he wont get help, he refuses.  And as I said, when you mention it, he gets incredibly upset.  I dont ask him, argue or try to tell him anymore due to the demeaning things he will tell me to get me to shut up and go away.  He wont stop, hes been doing this stuff since he was a little kid.  The only progess I ever made with him was with perhaps his most disturbing habit that I forced him to stop doing and even he realized he needs to stop doing ( but i have caught him doing it late at night when nobody is around ) which was unzipping his pants and tucking in his shirt but not before pulling his penis completely out and shaking a few times.  He used to do this with people around the house, family, friends, didnt matter.  If it was his "time" to do that, he would do it regardless of who or what was around.  

[Dr Sharma]

Hi there. I can understand how you are feeling about your dad’s compulsive habits. He needs to be seen by a neurologist for these compulsions. The specific techniques in behavioural therapy is called exposure and ritual prevention or ERP. This involves gradually learning to tolerate the anxiety associated with not performing the ritual behavior.  The most effective treatment for OCD is exposure ritual/ response prevention since it has a strong evidence base. Medications that are used are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors like sertaline, tricyclic antidepressants like clomipramine etc.other drugs are benzodiazepines. You need to convince him for a neurologist office’s visit. Take care.

[trdofbeingtrd]

I am sorry you are going through this. I am not comparing my situation to yours, and I can certainly understand that it is really taking it's toll/tough for you. I don't understand your living situations, as far as you getting your own place, or being a room mate with someone, also, being disabled would make it even worse. There is hope, there is always hope. I have no easy answer, it will be on the back burner of my mind.

Here is some humor for you. My dad does not have OCD, he is just an alcoholic.....that's not the funny part. I have been through many many instances where he has embarrassed me to no end in front of both family and strangers. I think being embarrassed in front of family is way worse. Anywho, the one situation I will always remember is when we went to the local grocery store. I drove, he was drunker than a skunk. We get up to the cashier and she is a pretty young woman, around my age. Out of just about nowhere this is what he says "HEY, see my son right there, he needs to get laid", I break in and say "DAD, what's wrong with you, knock it off man", well, actually I only got to knock it of.... because he says "HEY, shut up stupid, I am trying to help you out here" then looks at her and says "I know he ain't much to look at, but he will be good at it because he hasn't had any for a couple of years".

Parents regardless of the reason really don't think sometimes. They only thing I can think of to try and help out at all, is to let you know that you are not your father, and when you feel embarrassed because of how he is acting, the people around you know that that is not you.

There is always hope, and there is always happiness for those that can strive through the dark. This is not a religious or spiritual thing (no offense to the religious or spiritual here), this is the truth. Sometimes in life, we have to go through suffering, and I know I am preaching to the choir, but even when it seems it's a never ending rollercoaster going straight down, it comes back up.

Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. I am wishing and hoping the best for your situation.

[ProudMumToBe]

If he has not received help, "How do You know he is suffering Obsessive Compulsive Disorder'?
Rituals is not just under one Disorder and I have never heard of that before and come from a family who suffer OCD and well as myself and a few of my friends.

[mooksmom]

Sorry for your dilemma. As far as safe transportation goes, most cities have available transport FREE for the disabled OR for a few dollars each way. It would be much safer than what you are experiencing now. Also, most cities have lower cost places for the disabled to live, some with help close by or included.