Heaven or a Severe Problem

To some, this will sound insane. However, it is true. At rare times throughout my life I experience something as could only be described as intense paresthesia throughout the whole of my body. Nonetheless, to me it is perhaps the greatest feeling I could ever imagine. According to what I have read, it should be something to fear, but instead I desire it.

The first time I remember it happening I was in second grade. I had just done something quite horrible to someone who had attacked me. I was being questioned in the office of some school official or other, and this feeling overtook me, and I knew that everything was going to be fine. Indeed, I was not punished.

The next time was when this old blind brush salesman came to my house, maybe a couple of years later. I had seen him before, but my family had always been home. When talking with him in the doorway, I again had this sensation, and I felt as if I could absolutely trust him. However, I do not remember him ever coming to the house again after that.

Throughout my life, perhaps once per year - if I am lucky - I experience this all encompassing feeling. It is always associated with a person, but that person need not be physically present. I have felt it when seeing someone on the television.

I am almost 40 now, and so I doubt this is some sort of wasting disease like MS, otherwise I would have been wasting for over 30 years now, all the while being quite atheletic (most people think I am only at most 30). As well, as I have said, the feeling is not unpleasant or fearful, indeed quite the opposite. Just so the record is clear, I am an atheist, and probably the least spiritual person alive, so I do not associate this with some religious experience. I certainly, being but a humble teacher, am not some "chosen" person. I prefer to associate the feeling with something tangibly physical, if not psychological in origin.

So, any ideas?