PLEASE HELP!!!! My 2 year old son is OUT OF CONTROL!!!

My 2 year old is out of control. I know everyone says its normal for two year olds to act out and to be hyper but trust me this is not normal. I've been around alot of children his age and he most definatly stands out. He is on the go from 9am to 2am. He doesn't and won't take a nap or go to bed any earlier. He is constantly in to something he always has me on my toes. He absolutley will not listen to me at all not for anything. He recently listens to reverse pshycology which really isnt listening at all i call it him getting his way and me staying sane. but i dont want to continue this. Ive tried offering rewards, putting in corner, sending to room, time out in bad boys chair, taking his favorite toys away till he bes good ive even tried old fashion butt whipping (which i really didnt and dont want to result to). when i try one of these disiplines he screams as loud as he can for as long as he can no matter where your at.  and if it consists of him staying in a room chair or corner he wont i have to hold him there while hes screaming kicking and fighting. I get embarressed 9 times out of 10 when in public he will only stay in the cart for a short period then will continously try to climb out and scream when i stop him he will throw everything out of my cart. ive noticed hes very short tempered if hes eating and drops a piece of food he gets very upset and will throw his silverware and anything in hands reach he does that anytime upset. he has a very short attention spand i have taken him to doctors, counseling i have early intervention and help me grow coming into my home and he goes to speech therapy for a speech delay. the doctors dont even want to talk to me about it cause hes only two. help me grow has had several specialists look at him they mentioned autism at first then ADD and ADHD but no one can do anything cause of his age. but i feel theres gotta be help somewhere. he seen a genetics doctor who said he has a extra chromosone i believe in one of his genes or a missing piece but said theres no diagnosis for it but that its been linked to learning diabilities i can go on and on about different things my son does but would be here all day is there any suggestions you have that would get him to listen to me and his father? any new ways of disciplining? any help or suggestions at all. just to break it down hes extremely hyper, no naps, on go non stop, anger issues, wont listen to parents at all, hits/pinches his newborn sister, me and his dad cant touch each other show each other any affection or be in to much of a conversation together in front of my son or he gets very upset and will start hitting and throwing thing, he has a bad habit of pinching also. speech delay and learning disability doesnt hes gotta have all the attention

[LWitherow]

Hi there -

I feel for you and your husband - it's really rough to have discipline problems no matter what you do. It sounds like there are some underlying issues that contribute to your son's behavior, so standard discipline isn't necessarily going to apply. One concern is the negative impact on health and brain development that poor sleep can have. If at all possible, I would try to implement a sleep schedule. I'm sure it won't be easy, but maybe if you create a few physical activities throughout the day to wear him out, and watch his nutrition (limit sugar, caffeine, corn syrup, etc.), especially three hours before bedtime that could help. It doesn't sound like you have a sound diagnosis of Autism/ADD/ADHD, but you may still benefit from following a diet for these diagnosis (it's certainly worth a try). Another option you may want to consider is the Advanced Neurofeedback offered by Brain State Technologies. I did sessions for my daughter who was suspected of having ADD and her focus and attention has improved dramatically (she's six). I've been so amazed by the benefits that I became certified as a neurofeedback specialist. If you have questions or need help finding someone near you, please feel free to send me a message - I would love to help.

All the best to you and your family,

Lisa
Peak Brain Performance

[northernstarmn]

Hi, I can understand your frustration with your son. And the doctors unwillingness to help due to his age. Id suggest a diet change,.My now 16 yr old son was similar to your son and i took anything with red dyes away (juices,fruits,candies,tomato products,kool-aids etc)  also took away extremely sugary things candies,cakes etc..these items were offered only as a reward to him behaving and only on a strickly limited basis!!.......as he got older i would re introduce things and see what they done and until he hit purberity those items were like giving the kid speed couldnt believe the difference.....needless to say they were quickly removed from his diet.

id would start with the diet change and then as Lisa said sleep.

i dont know what else to say except i hope you are giving yourself some necessary "ME" time?

[HaydensMom2215]

I really don't have much feedback for you - I just wanted to say that I hope things are going better and getting easier on your family.  It is hard to have a child that no one seems to understand.  It is hard on them, and it is hard on you too.  I haven't tried it myself, but I was told once that increasing magnesium can have a calming effect.  If nothing else has worked, it might be worth a try.

Good luck and I hope things have improved since your post.

[cantfly]

hi -i have 4 boyz and they were very 'active' the  eldest was diagnosed ADD -BUT it was diet, artificials and colours (green mainly) when we changed the diet we noticed a huge difference in 48hrs and their diet wasnt that bad to start with, it was just a couple of triggers. now they are older they are not affected.

Now i thought our kids were prety bad... but they were nothing compared to a neighbour we had, her kid was just what u describe.... for her i think there was an underlying problem, but the meds just made the girl a zombie... she had to go to an all organic diet which made a huge difference (and as a trial can do no harm) -it was not a complete cure but i think she was still dealing with residual behaviour problems that would take time to work through...
Anyway we moved from the area -so sorry i cant give you an ending, but would suggest an organic diet change.
all the best
T.

[n40066]

my son is bipolar so i can relate to what you are going thru. and i'm so very sorry.  not only for you, but for your son.  it's difficult if this is what it turns out to be.  i agree that you need to modify his diet and organic is the way to go.  start now, because later is too late!  also, for some reason, if he is in fact, bipolar, do not feed him raspberries or chocolate...they are the worst!  don't know why, but they just are!  i also agree with getting rid of the food dyes....makes a big difference, as does caffine.  the biggest thing you and your husband can do for yourselves, is to not forget yourselves!!!  no matter what it takes, take time for you.  if you want to hold hands, hug each other, or give each other a peck, then do it.  when he gets upset. calmly pick him up, place him in a chair, look him in the eye and say.  i love you and i love daddy too. this behaviour is not acceptable.  then walk away.  if he gets up, just keep repeating it.

google the amen clinic....dr. daniel amen.  his books are amazing as are his facilities.  he does great work and i highly recommend him!
best of luck to you and i hope you will let us know how things are going from time to time!  like the others, if you need to talk, i'm here.
elizabeth

[JJ9776]

My two year old is the same exact way. I have mentioned to his pediatrician about the things that he does and she says that he is too young to even see a specialist about these things. The only thing that she said that he needed was speech therapy, which he sees her twice a month. I am at my wits end with my baby, I am barely functioning anymore because of him, no sleep, screaming for no reason, hitting, hair pulling, etc. I have gotten to the point where I have been giving him something to help him sleep at night, unisom, I get those dissolving kind and put it in his drink and hopefully he will drink it. This helps at night but still he only goes to sleep at 12 then he is back up at 6:30 A.M. and that's on a good night.My family is upset with me because I want bring him to see them but he acts up so much that I am afraid of what he might do. If I go out in public, I will take my oldest son and sometimes my husband will join us because of the temper tantrums that he throws in the stores.  So when you find a solution please share it so we will all know,please.