Sensory Processing Disorder and TANTRUMS!!!!

[mummytothree]

My 3 year old daughter has loosely been diagnosed with SPD/SID recently by an OT.  Among many issues we have with her, tantrums are a BIG one!  Her OT, who only has seen her once so far, did not think that her acting up was due to her SPD - that it was a learned behavioral problem.  Now since I already have felt like a failure for the past 3 years, can this be true?  I have raised two other children with the same discipline & never have come across tantrums like the ones she can have!  Last week I had an eye exam, & she had to come with me (usually I avoid taking her out to "boring" outings like an eye exam) and had a tantrum full-out-on-the-floor-kicking-&-screaming kind of tantrum for 20 minutes!  I just want to melt & I am not sure how to deal with them.  If I try to intervene I usually get kicked, hit and it makes the tantrum worse.  If I leave her to do what she's going to do (which I did), I feel that people are judging me that I can't control my kid (which I can't at these times) or that I am not caring about her behavior to stop it.  Generally I am learning to block surrounding people out, because it used to just completely upset me.  But I can't change her - I'm just trying my best how to help her & deal with SPD.
Any suggestions????
I have thousands more questions regarding behavior & SPD to ask!

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[Medrith]

I have a four year old with SPD. He was diagnosed before he was 1. Tantrums are a part of the nature of the beast. There are many things you can try. Take her to a secluded spot and talk softly until she calms. Try giving pressure hugs (bear hugs). Try preparing her with time constraints (in 3 minutes we will be leaving....). I do suggest that you see a developmental pediatrician and neurologist, but a psychoanalyst is unneccessary. Don't feel like a failure-every child is simply different and what works for one may not necessarily work for another. :)

[mummytothree]

Thanks for your feedback!  I am not sure in regards of financial help with special help.  I am in Canada, and so far so good.  She has seen a speech pathologist, physiotherapist (low muscle tone), and now an OT, so far no bill in the mail!!  I am going to look at some mental help for her (and me as well) and get an evaluation from a pediatrician.  I am lucky to have a preschool teacher that first identified that something might be wrong.  I knew in my heart, but always thought it was something I must be doing.
I really appreciate your outlook. It is interesting to get a feeling of what it might be like as an adult.  AND as I learn more about HER, I am noticing things about MYSELF!  I too am very nervous in social situations and have had a few panic attacks in the past few years.  
I guess the apple DOESN'T fall far from the tree!!!!

[mummytothree]

Thanks so much for your input.  I am going to get a full evaluation from a pediatrician & hope that they can direct me to some good help.

[ggreg]

Well, about the tantrums, I want to add that I used to have them when I was a child, and what snapped me out of them was my folks taking me to the tub and turning on the cold water, and then putting the top of my head under there.  Snapped me out of it in a big hurry, cooled me down.  It wasn't punishment at all, I was in no danger of drowning.  It's just a technique to stop the mind from going nuts.  Obviously you can't do this in public, but it should help keep the peace at home.  It didn't "cure" it, many kids have this just naturally, but it made me feel SO much better for the tantrum to stop.  

As an adult, I still tend to spiral out of control, only I don't go at it physically as a child would, but rather my thinking becomes destructive to my sense of well-being, so I have ways even today of snapping out of it.  I'm a nervous kind of person, and apparently so is your child, so a child behaviorist psychologist might be in order to meet with you two, and guide you in techniques to help stop all the wildness.  Your child will thank you one day for helping her get her feelings under control.

I don't know if you can get money from the government or what your resources are, but your child has so many behavioral issues from her health problems, that you need to have a "nanny" who is an R.N. and has experience with nervous children to help you out.  It will reassure you to see an objective person interact with your child, and will also provide more consistent help with stopping your child going from zero to ten since you humanly cannot be dealing with it 24/7.

Keep in mind your child's behavior in no way reflects on you; rather this is the way it is on account of nerves, disease, or whatever.  I myself have had to forgive my own self for acting out and being a nutcase, so you too should do the same.  We cannot live in a world of blame, cause and effect, and guilt.  Instead, see the positive side of things and change what is possible.  Accept the rest and deal with it.  And what you cannot handle, put in the Good Shepherd's hands.  

Hang in, you're doing fine.  And I kinda thought what happened at the eye doc was kinda funny (except for the child).  I knew a physician who had an epileptic for a patient, and they'd just let him do his thing while they went about their business, and strangers who visited the office didn't get it.  Ha!  Yup, it's a goofy, goofy world, indeed.

[drrajgopal18]

Hi,
Two important symptoms of SPD are -Poor organization of behavior. -  the child may be highly distractible, especially in a group setting, and might be described as "all over the place." In addition, the child may show a lack of planning and therefore appear extremely impulsive. A child may have trouble adjusting to new situations or react  to failure with frustration, aggression or withdrawal.
Poor self-concept - Because of the complex nature of Sensory Integration Disorder, a child does not only  feel "out of sorts," the child can, and usually does, feel downright awful.
Your daughter’s symptoms seem to relate to these symptoms . Please seek a psychotherapist’s help .Hope this helps you . Take care and regards !