Should I get a spinal tap if I have irrational fear?

So I've been having extreme headaches, nausea, even passing out, dizziness, falling and things of the sort. 5 months ago my doctor wanted to do a spinal tap...so on the day of the procedure I was informed that they can have me asleep to have the needle in, but I must be awake for the needle to get a proper reading. I flipped and completely denied them and later my doctor refused to give it to me after seeing my reaction. See, I have a phobia of needles. Most people do. But mine is irrational. I was a very sick child and I've had more needles then I have had breaths, and they always screwed up and hurt me very badly. So whenever I even THINK about a needle (like now) I start hyperventilating and sweating and panicking. While drawing blood I have passed out. It horrible, and they wouldn't even test me for drugs after my car accident because of how I react. I have hurt the nurses...and I throw up all over them EVERY SINGLE TIME. Its a horrible fear. If I know I'll get my blood drawn I wont sleep or eat until then...sometimes I don't eat for days because my stress level gets so high. It sounds ridiculous, I know it is, but I black out in fear and nothing can hold me still (not even 4 nurses at once). Its really embarrassing. So the spinal tap is invasive and the needle is huge. I CANNOT hold still and I know I will squirm. They have tried sedating me before with high doses and it does not work, I'm telling you. My body goes into survival mode and nothing can stop me, I feel like I will die if a needle enters me. Its unhealthy, especially with me being unhealthy, and has led me to not seek proper medical treatment. I'm in so much pain, my head hurts and passing out is scary...but I can't face it. Since I know for a fact I can't hold still, couldn't that seriously hurt me? I know moving will make everything hurt worse, but I can't help it. I might even try and jump out of the bed and run, there is no way for me to hold still. When I go into panic mode there is no "thinking of something nice". I have such a phobia and I don't know what to do

[Dr Sharma]

Hi there. I understand how it must be for you. Your symptoms are suggestive of a demyelinating disorder known as multiple sclerosis and your cerebrospinal fluid needs to be examined as part of the other tests that could help in the diagnosis. If it seems impossible to get a spinal tap with you awake, check with your doctor if this could be done under general anesthesia like MRI etc other claustrophobic investigation could need GA in certain patients and children. Wish you all the very best. Take care.