cervical spine lesions

I was diagnosised w/transverse myelitis and MS in October 2008 and I've had 2 treatments of steroids that did not work, 2 treatments of plasmapheresis, which helped a bit, but wore off after a few weeks, and 2 IVIG treatments that wear off in about 4-6 weeks.My remissions do not last more than about 4 weeks and I was initially diagnosised w/primary-progressive ms that was not responsive to treatment, but now I've been told it is relapsing-remitting ms which I do not agree with. My mri's look fairly normal, but it has also been suggested that I have Ms of the spine.  I've been having severe Lhermitts sign nerve pain for about a week and it is effecting my left side from the shoulder to the foot. My arm is in constant pain, my left leg below the knee tingles, I have excruciating pain in my bladder w/incontinence, so I have to wear diapers again, and my left foot is completely numb and dragging when I walk. I have to wear a soft cervical neck brace all day to help decrease the pain, but I am still in constant pain, especially when I try to sleep. I take Neurontin and Tramadil for the nerve pain, but it wears off in about 2 hours and doesn't really help. I'm afraid that I might have a lesion on my cervical spine, and I'm wondering what type of complications I may have f/this.B/c my left foot is numb and dragging when I walk, and a few hours ago I started having more balancing problems when I try to walk and I just keep falling down, leading me to drag myself across the floor to get around. I'm afraid that I will become paralyzed again, but this time f/ above the waist. I've alerted my neurologist, and I am waiting for a response f/him and hoping that he will bump up my routine mri f/September, to some time soon. I can't take the pain any more, nor the incontinence which has plagued me f/day one. Right now I am going through at least 10 diapers, and trying to self catheterize has become harder b/c I do not have any feeling in my vagina, so it makes it hard to find my urethra. I don't know what type of treatments, other than medications, that will help alleviate these problems. I am at that point where I want to be catheterized, and I am wondering if it can become permanent b/c I am having some trouble putting on diapers b/c of the pain and weakness in my left arm.  I wake up soaked in the morning, and I'm getting diaper rashes b/c I pee in my sleep every night, but I do not notice it till morning. I've had accidents in public, so I have to carry a backpack w/diapers, a change of clothes and wipes to change myself  in public restrooms. It has gotten to the point where I do not want to go out in public b/c of this. I also get bowel incontinence about a week after the urinary incontinence starts, which makes me more home and bed bound b/c of this. I am divorced and live alone and I do not have anyone to help change me b/c it has become difficult due to  the pain, and my practically useless left arm. I need help getting around and doing household chores, and I am having to start to use my wheelchair, especially in public b/c I am also having balancing problems when I walk and  due to the paralysis of my left foot. Am I going to become more disabled f/this if I do have a lesion on my cervical spine no matter how big it is. Will I have to live in a nursing home for the rest of my life b/c I am truly alone and I won't be able to care for myself.Will this be as good as I get, and be left w/permanent disability f/this. I don't know what is wrong w/me and I need answers so I, and my quality of life can get better.

[Karen99]

Hi.  Be sure to touch base with your neurologist ASAP.  Are you on one of the disease modifying drugs used for MS?  If you have a dx of MS, you should be.  

You have many concerns about your future.  Have you spoken with a social worker that can help you obtain care in your home in the event that you worsen?  A little preparation now can go a long way.  If you have medicaid in your state and you qualify there should be some type of assistance available to you now and perhaps in the future.

Maybe you should consider an indwelling catheter now because it sounds like you are spending far too much energy taking care of that need.  It could be temporary or maybe not, but I would guess your quality of life would improve greatly.

I hear the fear in your words.  First, talk to your neurologist and see how he/she can help you immediately to get you through this flare.  Also talk to a social worker.  They can be a valuable asset to know what resources are available to you now and in the event that you worsen.  I don't know very much about TM but I do know about MS.  

You might consider coming on over to the MS Forum and see how you can be helped there.
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Multiple-Sclerosis/show/41

Good luck to you.