memory loss after viral encephalitis

[fishface]

My wife and I seperarated 4 months ago and she has now developed viral encephalitis. She appears to have forgotten that we had seperated and were quite acrimonios to each other. How should I react when I visit her. She is holding my hand and chatting like we are still a couple. Should  I carry on acting until she gets better or should I be truthful about how we were? Help me please I am at a loss as to what to do. Who could I talk to about this dilemma?

[CCF-Neuro-M.D.-JT]

There's no right or wrong answer to this. But in my opinion, if she is seriously ill in the hospital with active viral encephalitis, the best thing you can do right now is be supportive, if you're comfortable doing that. The brain does not function normally when there's an infection going on, and it's expected that she's not exactly herself. Just remember back when you've had the flu or a very bad cold, you don't think very well and your head isn't exactly clear. This is magnified when your brain is actively infected and you are very seriously ill. It's possible that your wife will not even remember everything that's going on right now in the hospital. I wouldn't lie about anything that happened. If she asks, you can tell her the two of you are having problems, but this is not the time to discuss your issues. There's no need to bring up the details of your separation as this may upset her and likely will not help her recover.  If you are having difficulty dealing this, the hospital should have a chaplain that you can turn to and would possibly accompany you to your visits. Consider asking the nursing staff how to get in touch with the hospital chaplain, or bring in your own religious guide such as a minister, priest, rabbi, etc..Another thing you could do is talk to her main doctor as he/she knows your wife's condition and may better help to guide you as to the appropriate way of handling things. GOod luck.

[WendyS]

Ah, fishface!  You sound like a man with a heart of gold!   Two thoughts...
First... to learn more about this dreadful disease, I invite you to visit Encephalitis Global  www.encephalitisglobal.com .  We are a community of survivors, caregivers and loved ones.
Second... It is very, very likely that her memory is damaged.  It may or may not come back.  Depending on the severity of her encephalitis, recovery can be measured in a two-year time span.
Fishface... is there a family member, or mutual friend, that you could discuss this with?  Or, I would be very happy to answer your questions, anytime.  ***@****
Worrying about you!    
Wendy
encephalitis survivor April 1999

[WJSOL]

A related discussion, Viral Meningitis was started.