mood disorders

I have had seizures since I was born. I now am 29. My medicaid was cut off about 5 years ago so financially I haven't been able to afford my neccessary medical needs. I have grand mal seizures one or two times a month. Every once in awhile I get into these moods where I am mean and cruel, I know what I am doing I just can't help it. Recently I have tried to control this strange feeling, well the last time I did this I ended up burning my arms on purpose, self mutilation is not me, I get depressed often, but never have even thought about that. I really did not know what brought that on all I know is that I was angry , and felt no pain while doing it. After the fact I was my happy cheerful self again. I remembered doing it but don't know why. I am scared. In your opinion is this maybe a chemical embalance. And if you could help me by referring me to an organization that could get me into see a neuologist pleases let me know, I live in saint louis mo. I need help but don't know where to go. Please I'm a single mom in need of answers.