If your problem is still unsolved... You might want to consider adding almonds and/or sesam seeds & soy products to your diet if you think you want to increase amount of calcium you get without using dairy products. Your body also wants magnesium & vitamin D to be able to use the calcium.
Milk is a poor choice for calcium absorption. First thing, did you get your bone density checked? That'll tell you if you have a bone problem. Best absorbable sources for calcium that won't leach out your magesium as dairy does are the green vegetables, such as broccoli, kale, collards, mustard greens, parsley, dandelion greens, seaweeds, and such. I would bet, also, based on your symptoms, that your problem is more likely magnesium than calcium if it's any mineral deficiency.