10 yr old boy just diagnosed with ocd

[jenniw]

Hello everyone! I am in need of some help. My 10 yr old son was recently diagnosed with ocd. He is seeing a psychologist, but to my surprise they are only seeing him every 3 weeks. Since the appt. is only 1 hr, I only had about 15 minutes to explain all that is going on. Please understand I do not mean to sound selfish, but I feel like my life has been turned upside down!! I hurt so bad for my son. I do not fully understand the full picture of ocd but I can see he is suffering badly. First of all, this seems to have started really quick, however when I look back I see some behavior that I now question. It started with exessive hand washing. Soon after, he disclosed to me that he had some sexual thoughts about a family member. He also will punish himself for certain things that I wouldnt even punish him for. The germ thing has gotten really bad lately and I have seen him use his feet to do certain things so he wont have to touch it with his hands. He constantly seeks reassurance from me. Like if he rubs his eye, he will say " Hey mom, I just rubbed my eye and then I touched my leg and i might have touched my other eye too, is that okay??" I try to respond with " yeah, thats fine." There is so much more for me to say, I am just hoping someone has been through the same thing and can share some info.

[konajinx]

First of all, I'd just like to say that it's good that your son was diagnosed with this at his age. I'm 39 years old, and only within the past few years was I correctly diagnosed with OCD after years and years of wondering what was wrong with me. My problems started at around 9 or 10 years old, and the only regret I've had is that I wasn't diagnosed way back when. Of course, it's not always an easy thing to do, and circumstances aren't always conducive to such things, but your son will benefit from this, I promise you.

I, too, had guilty feelings about stuff that my parents never would have considered punishing me for, yet I often felt like I should have been punished. Without getting into the whole reason for my OCD's initial manifestation, this guilty feeling later led into suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and general depression.  However, I never seriously wanted to harm myself, and I knew I shouldn't feel guilty, but I would obsess over negative thoughts, and literally drain myself with them for a month on average. Then it would all go away. After the initial attack, my symptoms didn't really manifest themselves again in quite the same way until I was 16, which led to my first rounds of therapy, which were very helpful, yet I still wasn't correctly diagnosed.

So, again, it was a thing that came and went, until the last time it manifested, I just couldn't take it anymore, and wanted clear answers. I checked myself into a week-long treatment center, and upon being discharged, was hooked up with the psychologist who finally nailed it on the head. And when he gave me his frank diagnosis, I swear, everything became crystal clear and so many formerly disjointed pieces finally fit together.

I realized that in our talks, I had had some wacky physical rituals from time to time as a kid, that me and my mom would just laugh off as silliness. But those dissipated and at the forefront was always the obsessive thoughts. The unending "what if" scenarios. It wasn't that I truly wanted to kill myself, but what if I did...what would people do? What would my world be like in my absence? How would I do it? Would it hurt? And I would just play those scenarios in my head over and over. The breaking point, though, came when I stopped worrying about hurting myself, and my thoughts instead became geared towards fear of hurting others. Again, something I would never actually do, nor wanted to do. But it was a new obsession that gave that mental "charge" that these thoughts can give, causing the anxiety and the adrenalin rushes and all the other stuff that goes along with this disorder.  And that's the main thrust with obsessive thoughts...they do throttle one's moral compass and give a sickening shock inside. You can sit around all day and go...well that's just absurd, I'd never do that, but the thoughts can prevail and it can become tiring. Being aware that it's absurd makes it doubly tiring. You just want to think "normal" stuff.

Prior to my diagnosis, I had been on Lexapro, which was fine, but my psychologist suggested that I get on 50 mg of sertraline (Zoloft). Let me tell you, I may be in a minority, I' not sure, as I don't have any friends who have the exact same sort of problem I do, but the sertraline was the switch between night and day. Since being on it, my OCD has been completely under control, with zero obtrusive thoughts and/or compulsions. I am forever grateful to my doctor for his diagnosis, and I even told him so. All I had wanted for so long was just to know what was wrong and how to help it get better.

Your son may or may not need drugs. OCD is a little different in anyone. I am thankful that my case seems to be one of the more milder compared to some of the others I have read about. But the therapy is a great first step. Just be there for him and don't be scared. Support is the best thing a sufferer can have. Even if you can't "relate" completely, just being there for him as someone to listen can be a wonderful thing. Undoubtedly he has his own fears, and he should be reassured that he's not at all alone in the world with this. There are many of us out here. I wish you both the best of luck and good health in the future.

[JGF25]

Hi there.  I'm thinking from my own OCD personal experience and also that your son is young and I have children of my own and what would I do...I would ask to come once a week.  I don't think they would even consider medication for a 10 year old so he would have to learn cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to help him.  Actually you would have to learn them too because that way you can reinforce what he is supposed to be doing but you can say "Remember the psychologist said..." which I think is more effective.  

Also, you are not locked into this psychologist.  If you don't like him/her or you feel that your son is not getting all the help he needs, then by all means find another one.  

Also, don't beat yourself up.  If you find it exhausting, I can promise you your son finds it even more so.  He wants these thoughts to go away and I applaud you for getting the help he needs.  BTW...my sister started with hand washing at age 7 which escalated to irrational thoughts, etc.  She is now 55, has three grown married children, a Master's degree in nursing and is living a very full life.  She is on medication however as am I but we both had many years medication free where we relied solely on our CBT techniques.  So don't get down thinking your son has no future...he is going to get better and have everything you want for him.  

Take care.  

[lola099]

Another good book is "the OCD Workbook" it has a very comprehensive explanation of what OCD is, and how it affects the person who has it, as well as the family member's who are around it.

You do not sound selfish, this is a condition that affects everyone that it touches. As a mother, of course you are hurting watching your son stuggle with this. The key to this is understanding.

I wish only the very best for you son, and good luck.

[anacyde]

I would be happy to answer OCD-related questions, but I don't know exactly what you're asking.  I can recommend some books for you for now.

Brain Lock by Jeffrey M. Schwartz helps to explain OCD and how to work through exposures.  It will be extremely helpful in broadening your understanding of what your son is going through and how to help him.  There is a book for children called What To Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck by Dawn Huebner which may be helpful for him.  Feel free to message me.  I'm not a therapist or doctor, but I have, unfortunately, a lot of personal knowledge about this disorder.

PS: You don't sound selfish.  OCD is difficult on the entire family.