ADVICE..HELP :(

[boywonder1234]

Ever since I can remember I've always liked girls...

When I was 9-10 had a crush on 2 girls Lauren and autumn.

When I went to school I had crushes on at least 6 girls then..i can even name them

Rihanna,issy,Shannon,jodie and sooooo on!

I always masturbated to girls...always had a crush on girls...neber guys!

I masrurbated to my teachers alot...a girl sat on my lap and I got an erection! A girl talked dirty to me I got an erecttion like that! When I moved into my house I had a crush on the girl next door! All that stuff etc.
I had a crush on a girl called issy and I used always fantasize about her! A lot!!
I lremeber when this girl showed me and my friends her boobs,and i literally masrurbated to that memory for like 3 database
My HOCD started last summer...in college! My friend asked me as a joke "how do you know you're nor gay?" and my mind instantly said "your gay"
I couldn't sleep that night,infact I didn't sleep for a week or so! The thought was in my head literally 24/7 noo joke :[

Then i came online and found hocd..sbd was so releaved,but my hocd got worse! ;
• i couldn't dress in a particular way because I thought that was gay
•!couldn't cross my legs
•hated bending over

And soo on...


I them read ok ocd...and counter attacked my hocd which i sort of defeated it for some days!

Then came grional responses :S i thought i was getting attracted to men which scares the crap out of me then read that hocd/ocd can cause false arousal and erections etc...

I would seek reassurance through porn and seeing ifbi was still attracted to girls haha!

Now I'm spikin bad...because I've had gay experiences (don't worry I haven't had see WTH a guy) basically i do gay jokes and pranks! Infact alot of my friends do and I've done that alot in my past..but hardly do it anymore haha

Deep down i know on not gay..along with hocd i have other obessions! Such as POCD...

When mt hocd sort of goes and i focus on my other obessions i feel like my old self a ragimg teenager which gets aroused by just seeing a cleavage...

Anyone..advice? :[

[Donovan1]

Hi, I dont know if you'll still see this since this was posted so long ago, but Ive gone through the same kind of things as you. I have hocd and I think pocd too, and I've had many groinal responces and i've asted years of my life worrying that I was gay. Reading this its obvious you're not gay for me, but i know to you it feels very uncertain. All I can say is I know you're not gay, you just need to realise it too, trust yourself, try not to ask questions. dont even try to say youre straight, just live your life and it will come natural. i hope I helped, good luck buddy.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and welcome. Whats your question?