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Am I gay or do I have HOCD?
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Am I gay or do I have HOCD?

im a 16 years old male. im going to be 17 in a month. even when i was a little boy i dreamed of having a beautiful wife with kids. i've always liked women. but two months ago i saw the movie The Sitter. jonah hill plays as a baby sitter and one of the kids he's taking care of turns out to be gay. after that i asked my self "am i gay but i dont know it yet?" i laughed and said no way. that same night i dreamed that i was kissing a man. i woke up really scared. i asked my friend for help but he just got me more worried. he laughed and told me im probably gay that's why i've only had one girlfriend my whole life. i've only had one girlfriend because im extremely shy but i remember i really liked this girl. but he got me more worried when he told me "that's why your still a virgin"
i started watching lesbian porn with no guys on it to see if i get an erection. the first three times i did but now i can't. is it cause im really worried or is it because im eventually gonna turn gay? now i dont even wanna look at guys because im worried i might find them sexually attractive. i dont even wanna watch tv and its bothering me. i've never watched porn till now cause im really scared of turning gay. if you can please help me
1699033_tn?1405352675
All you need to know is that we don't wake up one day and become gay.  If being with a man sexually is not something that turns you on, then you cannot possibly be gay.  

Please look at my post "Anatomy of a Horrific Thought" because then you will see how the mind of an OCD person works.  I will bump it up to the top so look for my flowers icon.  You watching lesbian porn is a form of "testing" and you can see that that does nothing to help the situation but really just feeds into it and the cycle perpetuates.  If you were truly gay, you would know it and accept it.  
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